Broken, Honest, Beautiful

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"Lauren babe I need you for a second, can I get some help with these boxes please? They're really heavy." Ally asked politely with boxes up to her eyes, the short sweetheart she is. "Yeah of course." Lauren got up quickly only for Camila to grab her wrist and stare at her pleadingly with her big brown eyes. "I'll be a few minutes, not long, just wait up." Lauren smiled gently and removed Camila's hand from her wrist knowing Camila wouldn't do it herself. "Lauren I really need help-" Ally had to try and balance the now falling boxes before Lauren grabbed the top box for her. "What's in these anyway?" Lauren asked as she helped carry them down the hall. "Albums, pictures, shirts and stuff, all merchandise basically. And we have to spend the next 3 days signing as much as we can." Lauren shrugged "Do we have anything else to do?" Ally shook her head "No, just signing stuff. No shows for a week." Lauren smiled and then chewed on her bottom lip thoughtfully. "What's up?" Ally asked as she set down the boxes on a table with relief. Lauren did the same and sighed when she stood up straighter and stretched out. "I'm worried about Camila. I mean, Ally she won't leave my side. Did you see the look on her face when I came to help you?" Ally nodded "Yeah I did, but Camila can't be having it easy, what happened was traumatic for her. I'm not sure she's even got over what happened with Austin yet." Ally noticed Lauren licking her dry lips and her green eyes darkening. "Look I know you're mad but don't be, we dealt with him and it's over. Camila needs time, and her friends. So just be there for her Lauren because she needs you. You're the only one she really talks to." "But you all need me too, it's not just Camz who needs me to be there for them is it Ally? What about Mani and what about Dinah?" "-Dinah's fine Lo." Ally butted in, "I'm her girlfriend and Camila has been by my side constantly, we're just inseparable. I love spending time with Camila, don't get me wrong. But I miss Dinah, hell I miss all of you." Ally lay a hand on Lauren's arm and smiled "You just have to go with it. And Dinah gets it, she understands what you're doing and why you need to do it, she wholly supports you, we all understand it. No matter what you think about this, we all know you're not abandoning us. All you're doing now is being a good friend to Camila." Lauren opened her arms and hugged Ally tightly. "I needed that, I love you mama." Ally kissed her cheek and smiled. "Call it maternal instincts but I know you did, and I love you too." Lauren stroked the hair out of Ally's face and smiled. "Right then, let's get the rest of these boxes." Lauren said, when they turned the corner they saw Camila waiting for Lauren with tears in her eyes. "Lolo.." She whimpered in a small voice, Lauren sighed and walked over embracing the girl in a hug. "Just go with it." Ally mouthed as she walked past them to get more boxes. "Camz, I really need to help Ally right now. I'll come back for you, I promise. Just wait in the hall for me and relax." Camila shifted her gaze to the floor anxiously. "Here, take my iPod and listen to your playlist, it's updated." The iPod was in Camila's hand before she could register it. "-But Lauren.." "I'll be there soon Camila, soon." The green eyed girl repeated with a kiss on the cheek and a squeeze on her forearm as she went off to find Ally and help her with more of the boxes. Camila looked at the iPod and sighed before putting earbuds in and wandering into the empty hall. The fact she was alone only seemed to make things worse. Camila sat cross legged on the floor next to a wall quietly with soft music playing in her ears, she tried what Lauren wanted her to do, relax. But Camila felt her muscles tense, her heart was racing and her mind was scattered with pointless thoughts. Even with her closed eyes the darkness was a simply a small comfort for her, minuscule. What Camila really needed was Lauren. But Lauren was busy, Camila knew she was being selfish in the past week. She just wouldn't let Lauren leave her side, and that was maybe the most selfish thing she'd done in a while. If the tables were reversed, Camila would do the exact same for Lauren. But it wasn't Lauren in this position, and Camila felt about as vulnerable as a naked person out on the streets in broad daylight. Camila felt her palms getting sweaty and she shook violently with anxiety, where the hell was Lauren? She counted up and down like she had told Lauren to and vice versa, but it wasn't working, not without her there. "Lauren?" Camila intended to shout out but the air was suffocating her rather than giving her oxygen and she choked on her words. Camila was clammy and in such a state by now, and then as if on cue, Lauren walked into the what first appeared to be an empty hall but she knew Camila had to be in there somewhere. When she noticed the girl slumped in a corner struggling to breathe and dropped her bag hurriedly as she saw Camila having an anxiety attack. "Camz look at me, calm down, look at me. Camila it's all okay, just breathe with me." Lauren took her trembling hands and slowed her own breathing to show Camila. "In, and out." It took Lauren some time to calm Camila down but when she finally did Camila crawled into Lauren's lap to be held. This action wasn't unusual at the moment, so Lauren instinctively wrapped one arm around Camila's waist and held her head gently against her chest with the other. "You wanna tell me what happened?" Lauren asked gently and Camila swallowed dryly. "You didn't come back 'soon' like you said, I needed you. I was waiting for you and you didn't come for me Lolo." Lauren pressed her lips softly to her forehead, "I got caught up Camzi, I'm sorry. There were a lot of boxes for Ally and I to carry through for tomorrow's signings, and then Normani wanted to talk to me and well, the time just got away from me. But it's only been half an hour, I wasn't gone for too long." Camila closed her eyes and breathed in the intoxicating scent of vanilla as she laid her head against Lauren's chest. "I know I'm being demanding of you right now and I'm so sorry for that." Lauren shook her head. "No it's not your fault Camila, we all go through our own shit in life and we all need someone to be there for us. And you know it's not just me right? The girls are all supporting you and if you gave them a chance then they could do what I'm doing too." "No Lauren because nobody helps me like you do, nobody can calm me down like you do. Nobody else is Lauren Jauregui the..the only one who knows me inside out." Lauren rested her chin on top of Camila's head before she spoke. "Camz I know that, but they're still here to help with whatever you need, I can still be the one to calm you down and I can still be there to do what I'm doing now. Accepting their help doesn't mean that they're replacing me. You need to just remember that the girls are here for you too, you just gotta say the word Camila." Camila closed her eyes and snuggled into Lauren's chest. "You can't sleep here, let's go back to the hotel and rest." Camila shook her head in protest. "No, I'm tired." Lauren sighed deeply before shifting Camila over to one side and getting up. Camila whined and stared at her with puppy dog eyes. "Where are you going now, Lauren?" Lauren held out her hand. "Back to the hotel to put you into bed, because I'm not gonna let you fall asleep on me in a hall, now come on." Camila huffed and just crossed her arms in protest. "No." The green eyed girl raised her eyebrows. "I will walk away right now to go and see the girls if you want me to; or I can put you to bed first." Camila stared up at Lauren but Lauren held a firm gaze. "Which is it to be then Camila?" She wasn't about to back down under her big brown eyes right now. Camila reluctantly held her hand up allowing Lauren to pull her up. The walk back to the hotel was silent as a field without crickets, but Camila and Lauren's fingers were still intertwined and they held hands on the way there. So that made Camila feel a little better. Lauren didn't seem to be mad at her. It wasn't long before they had reached Camila's room and Lauren had put the brown eyed girl into bed. "There, now get some rest Camz." Lauren whispered before placing a chaste kiss on Camila's forehead. "But do you have to go right now?" Camila asked softly, Lauren gave a small nod and gentle smile. "I'll see you-" "Don't say soon." Camila warned, "Later." Lauren stroked the hair from out of Camila's perfect face and pulled the white duvet up to her chin. "Sleep well babe." Lauren smiled and left the room with the door clicking firmly shut behind her. Camila would have gone to find Lauren again if she hadn't fallen asleep as soon as her best friend left the room. Later, she told herself, Lauren will be back for me later. Lauren let out a sigh of relief when she walked down the hall to her and Dinah's room. Finally, she had some peace and some time for herself and Dinah. "Babe? Are you in here?" Lauren called out as she put the key card on the desk. Dinah emerged from their en suite bathroom wrapped in a towel with her wet blonde hair draping over her shoulders. "Hey babe," Dinah grinned and kissed her as Lauren smiled at the long missed sight of her girlfriend. "I take it you just got out of the shower?" Lauren asked as she plopped herself down on the bed. "Bath actually, candles and dim lights, it was heaven, God it was so relaxing." Dinah and Lauren heard Ally's muffled shout of "Hey watch your mouth Dinah Jane!" making the pair giggle at her religious bat ears. Lauren laid back against Dinah's body when she finally had got dressed and dried her hair. "Man I need to relax too." She mumbled, Dinah rubbed her shoulders making Lauren let out a soft moan at how good it felt. "Damn Laur, you're so tense." Lauren closed her eyes and sunk into Dinah's massage, "Yeah I know, can you just keep -ahh oh-oh my god yes right there." Lauren sighed as Dinah skilfully massaged all the right areas where it hurt. "Take your top and bra off and lay down baby, it's your turn to relax." Dinah kissed Lauren's cheek and signalled for her to lay on her front. "Best girlfriend ever." Lauren said but it was muffled into the pillow. "I love you." Dinah said as she kissed the areas she massaged. Lauren flipped onto her back and propped herself up on her elbows. "I love you so much." The green eyed girl smiled up at her, and Dinah could see the adoration and truth in her eyes. "I want you to know that always." She continued. "I know, now lay down you stubborn ess so I can continue giving you the best massage of your life." Lauren quickly obliged and let Dinah do her magic. When Dinah had finished and lay beside Lauren, she realised the girl had fallen asleep. She wasn't surprised, Camila had her up all hours of the night and day. It seemed as if Lauren could never catch a break for herself and that massage was long delayed and very well deserved. Dinah reached out and stroked the hair from her face and kissed her nose softly. "I love you Lauren Jauregui, to the moon and back, always." Dinah admired the way Lauren smiled in her sleep at the statement. Dinah pulled the duvet over them both and cuddled up to Lauren, they shared the best and well deserved nap of their lives, and Dinah savoured the time they shared until Lauren was whisked away to Camila once more.