Choose // ChildDolphin FF [complete]

40 - lost

*Ryan's POV*

How could she?

How could she do this to me? I love her, I thought she felt the same way.

Apparently not if she's going around kissing other guys.

This is a damn reason why I avoided relationships.

I always get hurt.

Crushed, forgotten, pushed to the side.

I should've known this whole thing was an act.

But I still love her.

*Octavia's POV*

"You fucking prick, get the fuck out of my house." I shout through clenched teeth, holding back tears.

He starts gathering his things.

"I never, never, want to see your fucking face again. You hear me?" I glare.

"Unlikely." He softly speaks.

"What?" I spit out.

"I'll see you again, just you wait."

With that he was out of my apartment, and now the tears came.

He's never going to trust me again.

The one thing he was most afraid of , just happened.

He'll never want to talk to me again, I can only imagine what he thinks of me now.

My eyes were overflowing with tears. I collapsed to the ground and sat on the floor against my couch.

I ran my hands through my hair, messing it up terribly.

I had so much anger and sadness built up inside me, I wanted to scream.

How could I let this happen?

I run to my bathroom and rummage through the messy drawers full of hair supplies, makeup, bathroom essentials, and I finally found it.

The razor I swore I'd never use again.

I looked in the mirror. My hair was a mess, my eyes red and puffy, pale face, tears still watering up in my eyes begging for an escape.

Ryan hates me, he hates me.

The thought of Ryan hating me makes me hate myself even more.

I hold the razor firm in my grip, and start cutting.

I felt a sense of relief, feeling pain that I obviously deserved.

I fell down to the ground again, blood dripping from my wrist onto the cold bathroom tile, but I didn't care.

I heard the front door open and heard footsteps running towards me.

It was my...dad?

I looked at him with overall confusion, my tears pausing for a moment.

He shook his head in disappointment.

"You couldn't be there for me, and now you can't even be there for him." His faint voice called out.

I drive my hands forcefully through my hair, banging fists against my head.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." I scream back and close my eyes, shaking my head trying to somehow take every memory I had of anything and shake it out of my brain.

I open my eyes and my dad's gone.

Dad's right.

Then I heard the door open again, and more footsteps were coming my way.

"Oct! Oh my god, oh my god."

"Bee, let me get what I deserve."

She shakes her head as she grabs bandages from my medicine cabinet.

"No. I'm not losing you." She says as she wraps my wrist in the bandages, stopping the bleeding.

"You already lost me, because I lost him."

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A/N if you're confused, her seeing her dad was a hallucination