Choose // ChildDolphin FF [complete]

45 - sorry i can't give you better

*Octavia's POV*

It's been two days since Ryan and I've spoke, and he hasn't talked to me since.

Did he make up his mind?

Bee was staying with me for a few more weeks, but Mitchell already flew home so he could keep getting videos out.

I pick up my phone and look at the time on the glowing screen.

8:32 a.m.

I sigh, knowing that Bee won't be awake for a few more hours. I hated being alone, it gave my mind too much things to think about.

I roll out of bed and walk to the balcony right outside of the kitchen. I used to sit here every morning while watching YouTube videos, but that changed once I met Ryan.

He became my first priority without me even knowing it, I barely realized how much he'd taken over my life.

I liked him being my whole focus, though. I was happy.

I frown, remembering our current situation.

C'mon Bee, wake up so I'm not left alone with my thoughts.

-

12:09 p.m.

Bee woke up an hour ago and she went for a jog.

Before she awoke, I showered, ate breakfast, and did my makeup. I was bored and that seemed to be the only time saver.

I walk into the cold bathroom where too many negative memories flood my brain every time my feet hit the black tile.

I glance in the mirror and roll my eyes and walk back into my vacant bedroom.

-

I throw my laptop to the side when I hear a knock at my door. I walk up, kind of groggy, and open the door.

There stands Ryan, and he doesn't hesitate before walking into my apartment.

I shut the door behind him and he disappears to my room, I follow.

"Look, if you're here to tell me it's over, than pl-"

"No. Oct, I love you. I can't imagine a life without a girl as precious as you in it, I would kill to be with you and I'm not going to let you slip through my fingers." He starts, I don't respond but stand there with wide eyes.

"I don't care what you've done or whether you think you deserve me or not, because I know you always think low of yourself, which is fucking insane. You deserve so much better than me, and I'm sorry I can't give you what you deserve." He says again.

"Ryan, I-" I say with my voice turning shaky and tears are welling up in my uneasy eyes.

He catches me off guard and start rolling up my sleeves, turning my wrist upside down to face him.

He starts counting the cut marks across my wrist.

"W-what are you doing?" I say, frantically feeling nervous.

"Seeing how many times you've needed me and I wasn't there." He says with guilt in his tone and he sets soft kisses upon my injured wrist.

Some lone tears are falling down my cheek when he looks up at me and makes eye contact with me.

And suddenly, a spark fills my body that I haven't felt for a while.

Ryan's lips were on mine, and I couldn't be any more thankful.

Unlike our other kisses, this one had meaning. A sense of forgiveness and a promise to always be there for one another. It was slow, sweet, and delicate.

His hands snaked around my waist and brought me closer to him. Even though tears were still running down my cheek, they didn't display my current emotion.

Because right now, I was happy. Genuinely happy.

I thought I had lost the one that made me, me.

I thought I lost my other half.

Losing him would've meant that I lost myself.

We break apart from one another and I look into his adoring eyes.

I throw myself around him, engulfing him in a huge bear hug.

"I missed you so fucking much." I say into his shoulder.

"I love you so fucking much."

------------------

THIS ISN'T THE END I SWEAR

but sadly this ends very, very soon :'(

i cri tomahawk tears