Tragic Magic (Ronnie Radke Love Story) [Book 2-sequel to The Drug In Me]

65. Waking Up In A New Home

****Hey, sorry guys! I love you all, I'd be lost without you all!

I know it sucks sometimes, but thank you so much for staying with me and reading this book, it means the world to me. ****

When I woke up this time, Ronnie wasn't on the other side of the bed-he was right beside me. His leg was strewn over my legs, his arm loosely laying across my back.

I shifted my head, turning to look at him. His eyes were shut, and his lashes were dusted from the light creeping in from the windows. Light glinted off his face, casting a divine glow to him.

I lay there for a while, just looking at him. I imagined telling him everything, being honest with him and admitting to him what I have done. I imagined telling him exactly who He was, and about the drugs, and my addiction. I imagined how he would respond, all the varying responses from severe to least severe.

I couldn't do it though. He would be destroyed, disappointed, upset. Betrayed. And hell, he may probably be angry, hurt, furious if he knew. He may yell at me, we may fight and fight and fight and then I don't know what I would do after that.

Leave? Would I run away? Would I go to rehab? Back to the same rehabilitation and correctional facilicity-no, no I couldn't! I-I couldn't go back there.

Would I choose drugs over Ronnie or Ronnie over drugs?

It wasn't that simple, but when it got down to it, that's what it would take. A decision between the two. And I was scared for when it happened, because I'm scared of what I'll choose.

I'd like to think I'd choose Ronnie with no doubt, no hesitation, but I'm scared I may let my misguided self choose drugs instead, and lose Ronnie forever.

I don't think we'd be able to recover from that. When this happened, it would all fall apart. We'd never be the same, never be able to get to that same thing we had before all of this.

A little while passed, and Ronnie started stirring. I quickly turned my face away blushing, not wanting him to know that I had spent all this time looking at him while he slept.

I lay back, pretending to be asleep when Ronnie moved and sat up. He leaned over me, brushing hair from my face, and kissed my cheek softly.

I pretended to wake up, because I knew I wouldn't be able to keep pretending with him leaning over me like that. I was blushing, and an embarrassed laugh was threatening to tumble from my mouth.

I yawned and turned around, laying on my back to face him. I fluttered my eyes open and looked up at him sleepily. The light shone in, surrounding his face and making him look like a celestial being in some portrait from the 1800s.

He smiled at me and leaned farther down, blinking at me slowly and then pressing his lips to mine. I couldn't help but smile into the kiss, reaching for him, trailing my arms up to hang from his hips, dragging them up to his chest before reaching for his hair, tugging it softly.

He laughed and pulled away, winking at me and then sitting up. I assume he went to the bathroom.

I sat up and leaned over to get up, but I fell back against the bed. It was so soft, so comfortable, I didn't want to get out of it.

When I tried to get up, it was calling to me, begging me to come back. I gave up, curling back up in the bed. I took Ronnie's warm pillow and wrapped it up in my arms to lay my head on while I curled up into a ball.

When Ronnie came back, he laughed when he saw that I was still in bed. He came over and poked me, saying "Come on Ry, it's time to wake up" in a sing-song voice.

I groaned in response, curling up more. He chuckled softly and then he grabbed me, slipping his arms under my legs and my back.

I squealed, and Ronnie picked me up out of bed. I bit my lip to hold in the delighted laughs.

How could it be that he made me like a silly little school girl in one of those movies, totally enamored of a boy, turning to jello every time they talked to her? How had I become that?

Simple, yet not simple. I don't know how, but Ronnie made me so fluttery and lovesick.

He carried me out of the room and swept me around the looming hallways. He opened doors and told me what the rooms were. He showed me the office, the exercise room, and others; but I didn't pay much attention, I just focused on Ronnie's body against mine, the feeling of his arms around me, holding me up, the feeling of his hair brushing against my cheek.

I focused on his smile, and the way his eyes twinkled, the movement of his lips. I focused on him, how he looked, how he sounded, how he moved. How he made me feel..

Every part of him was perfect to me. And when he smiled at me, Ill be damned to say that he made me feel like I was perfect too. He made me nervous and jittery, beside myself with happiness and awe. He made me feel like I was whole, like I could love someone again, love someone wholly and with my entire being.

He made me think that maybe, just maybe, someone could love me too.

He carried me down the stairs and into the kitchen. He set me down on a chair and poured some cereal, setting it in front of me. I took it and ate quickly, not realizing how hungry I was. I hadn't really eaten since yesterday morning.

When we finished eating, he fed Charlie and then I went upstairs and got dressed. I went to the bathroom to put some eye-liner on, and then I walked back down the stairs.

He had Charlie on a leash and he smiled up at me when I came down. "Hey, I was going to walk Charlie. Did you want to come?" he asked, and I nodded vehemently.

This way I could get a feel for the area, scope out all the places I could run to. This was to be my home, I guess-it was so weird to say that, or think it. It was such a strange, surreal feeling to be able to say 'I live with Ronnie Radke'. I couldn't believe it, I couldn't believe that he liked me, that he wanted me around, that he asked me to move in and live with him. I can't believe any of this happened really.

I knew eventually I would have to find a dealer around here, and maybe I would notice someone that looked like they sold while we walked, but for now I would just focus on being with Ronnie and Charlie and not worry about it.

Ronnie shut the door and locked it behind us, and then we were off, walking around the neighborhood, letting Charlie sniff everywhere and pee every few feet to make his territory and all that shit.

We walked for a while, until even Charlie seemed to be a bit tired out, and then we headed back to Ronnie's house.

If I hadn't been with Ronnie I would have gotten lost so easily. I probably never would have been able to find my way back, and I'd be too timid and suspicious to ask anyone for directions.

When we got back, Charlie went into the living room and jumped up on the couch, collapsing and panting softly. Ronnie and I followed.

We sat on the couch, and Ronnie turned the tv on. I sat in the middle, with one arm on Charlie, petting him, and the other arm in Ronnie's lap, toying with his fingers.

I leaned my head against his shoulders and we flipped through channels, but nothing was on really, so we settled for watching Full House re-runs.