Tragic Magic (Ronnie Radke Love Story) [Book 2-sequel to The Drug In Me]

85. New Life

**** so you guys requested a Ronnie chapter, and I will do it, but I've got to show this one first :) ****

*Ryker*

I passed the test. Barely I think, but somehow I managed to make it. He makes me give him 10% of what I 'earn' for my first 6 months, but at this point I'm just grateful to be getting anything.

I've been working for 2 and a half months now. Most of the time I don't remember a time before this, but that's probably because of all the drugs I take.

Diablo makes me a little uneasy sometimes, his eyes digging into me, always staring, constantly paying attention to everything I do. Either he's planning something, inspecting me, or he's just waiting for me to fuck up so he can kick me out.

One of the other girls offered to let me stay in her room, so I live with her. We live above the casino, in a small little apartment with 3 rooms, a bedroom, a living room, which is where I sleep, and a bathroom. It's nicer than I'd expected, but it's definitely a dump. Still, better than nothing.

One of the dancers recognized me from the news and approached me in the dressing room on my second night, but I denied it, saying my name Roxie and that I was from San Diego.

I insisted to her that I wasn't Ryker. And I was telling the truth in a way. I'm not Ryker. Not anymore.

She's long gone.

And I'm all that's left, nothing like her. I didn't love. I didn't trust. I didn't do anything but dance, drink, and do drugs. If I wasn't drunk, I was high, and if I wasn't high, I was drunk.

Even when I slept I was drunk or high, or both. And in the morning I drank more and did more drugs. I did it so much that I never came down from it because I never gave myself a chance.

I am drug addict, alcoholic, exotic dancer Roxie. I didn't have friends, I had clients, customers. I didn't have a family, I had a drug dealer and pimp, Diablo.

Soon I became known as Officer Roxie.

I have a few regulars - some people liked the scars. I played them off as battle scars for people who had bad girl fantasies, and played the damaged card for people who felt the whole paternal, helpful hand fantasies.

Some people didn't like me, some people did. Jus as some girls didn't like me, and others did. I guess it was like a whole little world - there were nice people, mean people, all sorts of people. Some liked you, some didn't, but you learned to not give a fuck about it. I didn't need other girls to like me. I just needed a customer to lust after me.

"Officer Roxie, you've got a new suspect" Dazzle yelled to me. And there was Glimmer, Sugar, Sweetcheeks McGee, and Sparkle Rose. Those were the girls I knew; there were others, but I never spoke to them. Glimmer is the one I live with above the studio - she's sort of Diablo's chosen one, his favourite.

She had blonde hair, dark blue eyes, ruby red lips and a right good set of jugs. And always sprinkled silver glitter on her shoulders, boobs, and stomach before she worked, so that, well, she glimmered, hence the name.

Yeah. So stereotypical stripper names are actually used.

I sauntered over to where Dazzle had pointed, seeing a young man in a mesh shirt with several rings on sitting alone at one of the corner seats.

"Someone's been a bad boy" I said, smirking down at him.

When I worked, I hid myself deep inside my body, letting the drugs take over.

Glimmer taught me how to be better; I take LSD, ecstasy, or marijuana before I work my shift. It helps me dance easier, not feel so bad or gross about it. It eased me, loosened me up.

When I'm not on heroin, I'm on something else; LSD, ecstasy, marijuana, OxyContin, anything to mellow me out, anything to forget, anything to chase and keep the memories away.

I lost myself. It's not exactly a proud moment of mine, but it was my life.

The boy looked up at me. He couldn't be a day over 24, I wonder why he's here. Usually it's older men that come here, pining and drooling over younger women while their middle-aged wives and 3 kids stayed at home, knowing or not knowing.

"Come to punish me?" he asked, an easy smirk pulling up his plump lips.

"Well, here at the Lunar Goddess, we sort of like bad behaviour," I said, winking to him. "It's like a preparation for the giant club in Hell. All sinners welcome. So I'm here to commend you, for now" I explained, standing in front of him, my hands on my hips.

"I have a few rules for you to follow though," I started, raising my eyebrows in seriousness. "You may touch fleetingly, but touch too long and I will punish you. And I will not give you a lap dance, nor will I tolerate fingers wandering down south. If you can handle that, then let's start" I finished, waiting for his answer.

He smirked and leaned back, and I began.

I don't want to recall what I did, how my body moved, the vulgar, sexual things that I did. Like I said, it's not a proud moment. But it was all that I know.

I used to just dance randomly, unsure what to do. But I learned what I was good at, and what I wasn't, so I stuck to that. I usually just sensually belly danced, with lots of hip rotations and such.

Diablo liked it, so he was planning on getting me some sort of belly dancing costume; I would need a new name then, when the cop costume was no longer mine.

Gypsy Roxie? Whatever, I'll let him decide a name.

I'm ashamed to describe what I do in detail. The way I moved, the things I did. I never would've imagined myself doing it, but with the 'party' drugs in my system, I did them easily.

He was pretty tolerable, not too grabby and touchy like the older men I had had, and when I was finished, he gave me 40 dollars in each of my stockings.

"I hope you will be a regular suspect of mine" I said to him, raising my eyebrows and winking before walking off.

Finally, my favorite part of the day: when I serve drinks. Sure, men still grabbed at me and oogled, but it wasn't as bad when I was a waitress than it was when I was a dancer.

And when the night was done, daylight seeping in, I paid Diablo and went to sleep.

There were some customers during the day, but Diablo's part of the casino was most popular at night, so that's when most of us worked.

We slept during the day, and at 7 o'clock, we woke up and worked until 5 am. And then slept, and repeat. And repeat. And repeat.

This, this was my new life. Booze, drugs, and exotic dancing.