Tragic Magic (Ronnie Radke Love Story) [Book 2-sequel to The Drug In Me]

89. It All Makes Sense

**** I'm sorry for the last chapter guys ahhh but it was bound to happen, you must know that.

Imagine the picture with more beads and coin things, and no long skirt thing, and green-blue. ****

I felt the cold leaving my body slowly, and I felt a weight lifted off of me, allowing me to open my eyes and wake up.

When I did, I noticed that I was in a bedroom, with medical equipment by me. But this wasn't a hospital.....?

Maybe I was just hallucinating or something...

I tried to sit up, but my body felt exhausted. I lay back down and sighed, moving a hand to hold my head, which was lightly pounding.

A door opened and I looked to see Glimmer rush in, grabbing my hand and looking to my face.

"Where am I?" I asked softly, my voice coming out crackly.

"Oh god you're alive, you're awake!" she exclaimed, like she hadn't even heard me. What is she on about?

"What do you mean? Of course I am. A little injection never hurt me" I said, and she grabbed my hands, pulling them from my face.

"A little? Honey, you overdosed. Like really, really overdosed. You injected hundreds of dollars worth of heroin......It's amazing that you're alive" she said, and I felt my head hurt more as I remembered what had happened.

Fuck, I'm so stupid, I always panic when the memories hit me like that. "Right, sorry. How am I alive?" I asked, looking around.

I wasn't imagining it, I was in a bedroom. There was a chair and computer in the corner, posters of girls in bikinis on the walls, and a shelf of teddy bears.

"Well, one of my clients is a doctor, so I asked him if he would help you, that way you didn't have to go to the hospital and answer questions and go to a rehabilitation center and such. I figured you'd prefer this" she said, holding my hand tightly.

I squeezed back and smiled. "Thank you Glimmer" I said, sighing and laying my head back.

"It's Annie" she said, and I opened my eyes to look at her seriously. "My real name. It's Annie" she said.

I looked at her shocked. Nobody ever spoke of their real names-we all had an unspoken agreement to keep our pasts a secret.....

So why would she tell me her real name?

"I just thought that someone should know it....." She said, shrugging like it was nothing, but I knew that it was something. Something very, very big.

"My name was......Ryker" I told her. Now I don't know why I told her my name. How can I forget if I tell her my name? How can I forget my past if I relive it every time I see her, because I know that she knows who I was?

"You really are Ryker then, wow.." She said, smiling at me. I guess it was like a bonding moment or something, but honestly I felt shitty about it. I didn't regret it though.......

"I was. I'm not her anymore" I said, shifting my eyes to my lap as I sat up. She lay a hand on my leg and I looked up to see her glimmering eyes, wet and shining like the eyes of an anime heroine.

"Honey, you're still her. You may have changed, but you didn't become a completely person" she said, and I shrugged.

"Why did you come to work for Diablo?" I asked her, drawing my legs under me. She shifted her gaze past me, like she was remembering something, and then she sighed.

"I came from a rich family, but I wasn't happy. My parents didn't pay attention to me at all. I had a nanny take care of me since I was born, a fucking nursemaid. My mother couldn't even be bothered to breast feed me, I took up too much time. They were cheating on each other with multiple people, they were married to their work and nothing else. I got fed up one night, and I just ran away. I heard tales of the excitement in Vegas, so I came here and ended up with Diablo" she said, and I looked at her seriously.

"Do you love Diablo?" I asked her, dying to know. How could she be with him? She was nice, honest, beautiful. And Diablo, he was mean, controlling, and obsessive.

"It's complicated," she said, looking down at her folded hands in her lap, playing with her costume.

I pulled on a bead from my costume and stared at her, waiting.

She had to answer, I knew she would.

"I, he pays attention to me, sometimes. In the beginning it was great. It always seems great, right? And then it all turned to reality. I don't love him, I love how he looks at me" she said, and I nodded.

"But everyone looks at you that way. You could have anyone, so why Diablo?" I asked, wishing she would see it my way and leave him. I was scared for her, how long until he took his frustrations out on her?

"I just got caught up in the excitement of it all and now I'm trapped" she said, rubbing her chin on her shoulder.

"You're not. You can get out. You should get out! Go back to wherever is home for you. Start over, live your life. Become a hair stylist or a makeup artist, don't stay here, please" I said, pleading with her.

"I don't know. I don't have a home" she said, and I shook my head.

"Then make one! You have to leave, before he hurts you!" I said, and she looked at me in confusion.

"So, why did you come to Vegas?" She asked, changing the subject, and I looked up at the ceiling. I couldn't tell her....

But that's not fair, you asked her and she told you, even though it was none of your business. So you have to tell her, at least tell her something.

"I had a bad... Really bad past. And then I foolishly fell in love with a boy who gave his all to me. He helped me get free and then, I just threw it all away. I ruined everything, and then, like the coward I am, I ran away. I'm not sure why I came to Vegas, but I ended up here" I said, rubbing my eyes to keep the tears from pouring out.

"There must have been a reason for Vegas. Was it the prostitution, the drugs, or maybe it has sentimental value, did you ever live here?" She asked, and I finally realized it.

I know why I was so insistent on coming here.

It was for Ronnie.

It was always about Ronnie.

"The boy, the boy I loved, love, he lived in Nevada when he was growing up" I said softly. Everything was starting to make sense now, my obsession with coming to Las Vegas.

"And you came here to be close with him even after you left him" she said.

I nodded.

I came here to be close with Ronnie in a way.

I know why I can't forget my past.

It's because I'm here.

I came here because I don't want to forget. I don't want to forget Ronnie, or anyone else.

I can't forget them, they're everything to me.