Tragic Magic (Ronnie Radke Love Story) [Book 2-sequel to The Drug In Me]

81. Leaving

**** I'm sorry again guys. But it'll be okay eventually ****

*Ryker*

I ran hazardously, stumbling around and running like the devil was at my back. But I wasn't running away from the devil; I was running towards him. I was running right into his open arms.

Ronnie's money burned a hole in my pocket, digging deep into my very soul, hurting me. I was ashamed of myself.

I was fine with stealing from stores, I had done lots of bad things but I could live with them. But stealing from Ronnie felt beyond wrong, it felt horrible.

It was horrible.

I was horrible.

I had stolen from Ronnie.

I told you so...

I found myself in front of Dealers house; my feet had subconsciously brought me here.

I knocked on the door quickly, hearing sirens in the distance.

I kept knocking until he opened the door angrily and I darted in without waiting for his invitation.

"I came to buy more. I'm leaving" I said briskly, hiding behind his couch.

He looked at me curiously, his eyebrows cocked. "Get caught did you?" he asked, and I glared.

"You gonna give me my shit or do I have to find somewhere else to spend another 200 dollars?" I scowled, and he held his hands up in surrender.

"Ok ok, I'll get your stuff. You okay?" he said, looking at me in concern before walking off.

"You're not my therapist!" I yelled, angry.

Why did he care? Nobody should care about me. He probably just wants to make sure I'm not suicidal so that I'll still be able to buy from him after today.

But I'm leaving, so he's got another thing coming.

And besides, why would he think I'm not okay? Huh? I felt my cheeks and realized that I was crying. I brushed the tears away furiously, sniffling and grumbling. Don't cry over something that won't change, just forget it already!

Ronnie hates you, just forget about him! It's over, what you had was great, but it's over now, never again! It will never again happen! Get that through your head! He never wants to see you again!

I sniffled and pinched myself to distract my mind to the physical pain and momentarily forget the emotional torture.

When Dealer came back, I handed him the cash and he gave me 3 more baggies of heroin. I only checked one this time, and he looked at me amused.

"So, where are you going?" he asked, and I groaned.

Jeez, when would this guy let up?!! All these fucking questions.

But for whatever reason, I answered.

I had only talked to him once before, but he started to feel like a father figure. A meth addict drug dealer father figure, but still. He warned me about drugs, even as he gave them to me. He made sure I really wanted it before he gave me the heroin. He felt like more of a father than my real dad, that's for damn sure.

I thought for a moment. I hadn't even thought of where I would go....

"I think I'll go to Vegas" I said, and he chuckled. "Oh honey, you're gonna get eaten up out there" he said, and I turned to glare at him.

"I can take care of myself, thank you" I scoffed, glowering. Why does he care anyways? He's just my very short term drug dealer. He has no reason to care about my wellbeing, especially since he won't be selling to me any longer.

He held his hands up in surrender again and sat back on the couch.

After it was silent for a while, I got up, ready to get this over with and go.

"Thanks for the drugs Dealer. I probably won't see you again" I said, holding my hand up in goodbye.

He grabbed my arm quickly, his face very close to mine. I got scared, but he pulled away and furiously scribbled something on a piece of paper that he then handed to me. It was a phone number, I think.

"Here, he's a good dealer, he won't cheat you like the others. Tell him Rodney sent you, he'll treat you good" Dealer said-Rodney?

"Thanks" I said, and then I left, walking out into the sunny day. I scowled, not in the mood for chirpy birds and sunny rays. I walked down the sidewalk for a while, then heard sirens again, so I darted in between houses, running through backyards and over fences.

I made it to a train station and walked in cautiously, looking around for any cops before walking to the ticket station.

"I'm looking to go to Vegas, which train takes me the closest to a train that can take me to Vegas?" I asked, tapping my fingers on the table.

"This train will take you to Bishop, California, and from there a train should be able to take you to a town outside of Las Vegas but you'll have to get a car to take you into Las Vegas" the man said, and I nodded.

I'd figure it out when I got there..

I bought a ticket and sat on a bench outside, waiting for it to come.

I looked all around me, paranoid and terrified that cops would burst from the shadows and take me away. A few times I thought I saw something, but it turned out to be nothing every time.

But somehow I managed to get on the train un-stopped, and I went to the bathroom quickly to get my fix.

After the euphoria wore off, and stumbled back to my seat and curled you, using my bag as a pillow and going to sleep.

I'm sorry Ronnie.....

So sorry.