Tragic Magic (Ronnie Radke Love Story) [Book 2-sequel to The Drug In Me]

83. New Normals

**** sorry for not posting before, I actually left my house yesterday........weird....anywhore I'm back huddled in my house so prepare for more feels XD

I found this song on YouTube and it kind of reminds me of Ryker a bit with the liquor and everything (although this book focuses more on heroin addiction than alcoholism). It's Misunfortunate (Lets Talk) by Get Scared :) it's an old song but whatever****

I stumbled around all day, in and out of alley ways; I passed hotels, casinos, strip clubs, burlesques, all sorts of places.

I'd need to find a job somewhere......

But would a strip club even take me? I was scarred all over, and something tells me most people wouldn't be like Ronnie and not mind them......

Ronnie....

Fuck, I can't go five seconds without thinking about him. He plagued me, his words, his voice, his face, everything. I could run and hide, but I could never escape him.

Ronnie would be a part of me forever, no matter what I did, no matter how hard I tried to forget him, as soon as the high wore off, I would immediately be hit by memories and images of Ronnie.

I was stuck on Ronnie...

I stuffed my hands into my pockets and leaned against a building, sighing and clenching my fists.

I felt something crumple in my hand, and I pulled it out to find a little piece of paper folded in my palm.

The number.

I smoothed it out quickly and went into a bar, using the phone there so I wouldn't have to use change for a pay phone.

I dialed the number quickly and waited; this was it, if he picked up I might have a new dealer, if not, I'd be back at the start.

My heart pounded harder with each ring of the phone; fuck, was he going to pick up, or would I be stuck searching for a dealer on my own? Oh god, why did I ever leave?

Because you can't go back to rehab.

I know.....but, I-I miss Ronnie. I really fucking miss Ronnie.

But he doesn't miss you! He fucking hates you! He said it himself, he never wants to see you again!

You think I don't remember?!! Fuck you! Fucking fuck you, I know he doesn't want me! I know it... I know it...

I almost wanted to hang up because after 10 rings nobody had picked up yet. My heart felt like my heart was going to thump right out of my chest, it was beating so hard.

But after the 12th ring, a rough voice came through the line. "Who the hell is it?" the voice said.

I shivered, overwhelmed at all that had happened, and didn't respond for a moment. "Hey, anyone there?" the voice said.

I cleared my throat and shook my head, gathering myself back together. "Hey, um, Rodney told me to call you when I got to Las Vegas" I mumbled, looking at the nearby bartender.

I couldn't say anything too suspicious..... I know it's Las Vegas but still, better safe than arrested.....

"Rodney? The meth-head dealer?" the mans voice said, softening at the mention of Rodney.

"Uh, yeah, with the teeth...." I started saying, then looked over at the bartender.

There was a rough laugh and then the man started talking again. "Aight, meet me at the Lunar Goddess Casino in two hours. We'll see if Rodney was right to send you," he said, and then there was a loud, prolonged beep as he hung up.