Tragic Magic (Ronnie Radke Love Story) [Book 2-sequel to The Drug In Me]

90. It's Getting Worse

**** 3 times the charm right? Maybe the picture will show up this time XP ****

After I realized the truth about why I came to Vegas, my whole idea and view of it all started to crumble.

Should I leave? Should I go back to Ronnie?

No, you can't go back.

He doesn't want you!

Give up already, it's pathetic.

He.

Doesn't.

Want.

You.

Get it through your damn thick head!

If you went back he'd only send you away to rehab, just to get rid of you.

He. Doesn't. Want. You.

I wish I could say that I forgot. But I didn't forget. How could I forget that Ronnie hated my guts now, and never wanted to see me again? It's impossible to forget without drugs and alcohol.

I had to drown my memories out with vodka and heroin. It was the only way I could forget. It was the only way I could clear my mind for a while.

Annie didn't say anything for a while, we just sat together, both of us rethinking our decision to come to Las Vegas.

Our bonding was interrupted by a hesitant knock on the door.

"Come in" Annie said, and a small little man peeked his head in shyly before taking small steps in the door.

If this was his house, then why was he waiting for Annie's permission to come into his own room? Strange....

"Oh, miss, you're awake" he said, and shuffled over to me. His shy guy act dropped, I guess because he shifted into doctor mode.

"I would tell you to lay off drugs, but I know you won't. Your liver is really, and I mean really, damaged. You're going to pay for it eventually, I wouldn't be surprised if it gave out some day" he said to me, and I just sighed, looking down.

I really couldn't bring myself to care. I probably wouldn't be alive long enough for my liver to give out.

I would no doubt overdose again, and again, and again, and maybe one of those times Annie wouldn't be there to take me to a doctor. I would die some day, probably soon.

And I don't even care.

I have nothing to live for really.

I have nothing.

I am nothing.

And that won't change. Not ever.

Without Ronnie, I have nothing, I am nothing, and everything I do will amount to nothing. So therefore, nothing mattered.

"But for now, you'll be okay. I can't tell you to stop doing drugs, I know you won't, but just, take it easy okay?" the man said, and I nodded, taking his offered hand for a shake.

This man was a curious little thing, really.

"How much do you want?" I asked, moving my legs to hang off the bed.

"Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it" he said, and I gave him a look.

"Really?" I asked, biting my lip.

"It's already been paid for" he said, and I shifted my eyes to Annie, finally understanding.

Annie had done something for him in order to keep him quiet and in order for him to help me. I don't know if she fucked him, or just got him sprung, or what, but it was the most anyone could ever do for me in that situation.