Tragic Magic (Ronnie Radke Love Story) [Book 2-sequel to The Drug In Me]

88. Ode to Overdose

****I hope you guys enjoy. Sorry to leave you hanging until tomorrow, but....well, yeah. That's how it is. ****

After attempting to compose myself in the dressing room, I went back out. I went to start serving drinks, but Diablo gave me a hard look from his throne table overlooking us all and I sighed.

This was my punishment then - I had to dance all night.

The whole night I was jumpy; I was a nervous wreck. I tried to brush it off but I couldn't. The memories were coming back with a vengeance, and I didn't have the time to inject, and it was killing me.

Ronnie hated me. He never wanted to see me again.

I would never again see Jacky, listen to him shred the guitar, see him chew gum while he played for fun, never hear his soft British voice, never feel his eyes on me when he knew I was lying, ever again.

I would never see Derek, watch him joke around in a Russian accent, hear him blast Iron Maiden in his ears, never hear his calming voice, never see his wide smile, never hear him play, ever again.

I would never see Ryan, hear him pound on the drums with such eased skill, never hear him chuckle and roll his eyes when people commented on his name, never feel him randomly hug me, ever again.

I would never see Luna, hear her excited voice, hear her sexual jokes, nor hear her laugh at them, never feel her jokingly punch to my shoulder, never see her thump Max on the chest teasingly, never feel her sling her arm around my shoulder, ever again.

I would never see Echo, hear her soft, shy voice, see her soft brown hair and chocolate brown eyes pierce mine like she knew all my secrets and would keep them for me, see her nervous smile, feel her soft hand gently touch my shoulder as she listened to us without speaking, ever again.

I would never see Ronnie again. I'd never see his little tuft of hair wiggle under his lip when he talked. I'd never hear him sing again. I'd never see him give a hell of a show, see him spaz all across the stage.

I'd never hear his gorgeous lips utter my name. I'd never see his tongue flick out to lick his lips. I'd never see his deep brown eyes look at me warmly. I'd never feel his strong arms around me, keeping me safe. I would never feel his soft lips touch mine. I'd never feel him hold me safe in his arms. Never again.

Never again.

I'd never see any of them again. Never hear any of them again. Never hug any of them again. I'd never talk to any of them again.

All this weighed on me while I danced, and I'm sure it affected my performance. But I couldn't help it.

My patrons didn't care much obviously - they were getting a dance, even if I wasn't on top of my game tonight, I was still dancing for them.

I ignored everything and listened to a steady thumping of the music. I ignored everyone and just focused on myself, my dance. I tried to let everything else fall away and just feel the movement of the dance.

I just focused on my hands raised above my head, clutched together and then moving separately in waves, like they were surfing the air. I focused on tightening my belly muscles, my abs, so that my belly would rock in a better way. I focused on the rotation of my hips. I focused on keeping a steady rock, a constant roll, a perfect belly dance.

I ignored all the patrons and other dancers. I didn't look at anyone. I looked up to the ceiling as I danced, watching the grand chandeliers swing above me.

I watched the way the light danced across the crystals and diamonds. I tried to match my movement to the bouncing light, changing directions and constantly bouncing around in a beautiful array of moves.