Taken As Reward (The war of politics and love BOOK 2 )

07. Hasrat

PRESENT -:-

ZEHRA

"Are you the one? Daiwik?" My words released like an arrow, while I saw waiting to hear his reply. My heart pumping in my chest. The boy I fell in love with six years ago, might be this man. The man who likes a beast kills.

The man who took me as a reward. He didn't answer me. Instead, he was there on his knees, picking up every single rose petal from the floor and putting it inside the jar again.

So hastily, like a part of him was being pierced, after this, if he is he is going to tell me. He isn't. I don't think I will be able to believe it.

The last week, I had been in the room. And constantly forced whoever I could to get Daiwik out. Only so I can ask him this.

He did not utter a word,  as I kneeled on the floor on his level. And caught his hands,

I walked around at his back and pulled the shirt down, from his neck. And there it was the tattoo, of an instrument the Hindu god has.

He twisted to pick the rose petals by my foot. When I kneeled on his level and caught his hands. He looked up, with his eyes all teared but not a single drop did he let the permission escape.

"Why didn't you tell me the first day?" I asked him, sobbing, wiping the tears away.  "Why did you drag me so unkindly?" I asked him, the air around me became colder, the hairs on my neck rose, and the shrinking feeling of abandonment I felt six months ago started to grow back in my chest.

I was abandoned. I kept telling myself I wasn't, and something must have happened to him. But I could not be even more wrong. Here he was all alive and fine. Living a very decent life. While I...

I don't know if I should hate him or love him!?

He sealed the jar. As he met my eyes once again, "You did wrong. You left me to suffer all alone?" I asked him, and he shook his head.

"If only I knew that me walking back would have sent you into that hell? I would have preferred to be dead." He finally spoke, and I blinked.
He thinks he is responsible for me being in that brothel. He is not.

Is he?

I wondered to myself, had I not blamed everything that happened to me on him? 

"You are right. You left me in the hand of a man who sold me to those people for two lakhs. And you did not even turn around to find me again? I called my mother every day, to ask if any news of you resurfaced.
And all there was? Nothing. How could you just walk out on me?" I asked him.

He didn't say anything and just stood up, as I walked on my feet too. Walking inside the television room, keeping the jar as I heard, but he walked out with a box in his hand.  I stared at it, as he handed me the box.

I depend on it and I saw letters, letters in different envelopes with the of wo of within these six months date on the top of them. Like there always was.

I opened the letter,

PAST (5 YEARS AGO) -:-

ZEHRA

I opened the letter in my hand that was sent to the front door inside the flower pot. On top of the margin, my name was written in bold, It was a yellow plain envelope with simple book paper inside and today's date on top of it.

I hide it inside my dupatta as I ran inside the house and then into my room, I sat on my bed, hiding myself under the blanket as I opened it.

Within a year of this exchange.  I have come to know anything that comes my way, is sent by this person. I haven't yet met.

I have tried, tried asking Arti, tried to find ways I can see him with Anju. But unsure why he doesn't want to see me. 

She told me, he said he wants to wait for the right time. How long will it be?

This was his first letter. First-ever words that were spoken directly to me. My heart was beating fast in my chest, as the paper unfolded completely and I read the first words

Zehra Hassan
I tried to think of something perfect that I would tell you in my first letter. But none of them allured me. And then I knew I exactly want to tell you. so after I threw hundreds of papers away, I settled down on sending this one.

The first time I saw you,
I know that your friend told you that I first saw you in the market. But that's not true. The first time I saw you was when you walked out of your coaching center. I was there to pick up my sister, I waited for her but before I see that monkey, I saw you walking out in your mehendi green clothes. You were looking so pretty. I fell in love with you. And I knew all I ever wanted in my life is you.

So ever since I am trying only to do things that will make you very happy.

-D-

Reading those words I chuckled, if this was his many attempts then he is bad at describing what he wanted to. But it's okay because felt like I read more than 157 words.

I shut the paper when I heard Murashad's voice, coming out of the blanket in a panic, I hide the paper under the bed mattress.

When will he send me another one?

Two weeks later, while I was on the roof, standing inhaling the air with the gajra on my head another letter was given to me by Arti, as she sent it over from her adjoint roof.

I closed my eyes before I opened it, as I read his words...

PRESENT -:-

ZEHRA

I read the words, one after another, all of them describing he was sorry, and what was going on in his life. Dates after date, I saw all the letters. And I halted.

"I didn't abandon you. I just knew that leaving you alone to live your life will be good for everyone," He said,
"And I can't hate myself to make that decision." he took a step towards me, his hand lingering over my forearms but he did not keep, it as he spoke, "The things you had to endure because I made a wrong decision. I hate myself for it!" he said as he pulled back again.

"I just really hate myself for it!" He screamed out,

I didn't know now what? I knew I wanted to know if it is him but what should I do now?

I have loved this man for 6 years, without seeing him ever, now that supposed see him being so inhumane what do I feel about this?

I don't know-

"Let me go home now, then," I spoke without even thinking twice.