Taken As Reward (The war of politics and love BOOK 2 )

29. Gunnah

ZEHRA

"Don't say, something you don't mean. You are not indebted to lie to feel safe or if you need something from me. Okay? Do you ask? No, you take it! You take whatever you want! And never explain to me why you wanted it! Okay?" he shoved my words away with his deep rage that just overwhelmed me and made me stick to the television behind me.

And the need, the question that arose in me was,

"So every time I will tell you I love you, you will never believe me?" I asked him, he says he wants to hear me from my soul. One that is not there, and can not be resurrected.

So, if someday, my words were meant for the right reasons, will they be welcomed with a shouting wrath followed by a series of apologies?

My question blindsided him, when he shook his head, trying to regain insanity, I was scared to challenge him alone, right now.

But I could not stop myself.

"I will accept it! When you are not saying it like a fucking empty vase! Zehra! When you mean it from your heart!" He gritted, his hands on his head, taking steps back, looking everywhere but me.

And I wanted those mixed eyes to stare at me right,

He must know! I am never going to offer him what he wants from me.
And his constant pressure, with his beautiful gestures, is maddening me!

Making me feel so bad about myself. Like I am a goddamn leech! A freeloader! A barnacle! Who is just sucking him off?

Some things I chose to make me feel like a whore. But being a blood-sucking moocher was never my choice.

And his approach to have my soul that does not exist? Is making me feel wretched and rotten.

"I don't have a heart and a soul! So stop torturing me! And just send me back to Vandigana" I yelled at him. And he halted, completely stilled.

The eyes that he did not meet with me while he was moving in the room, just stopped completely, as those raise to me. But those irises did not explode when they saw me right now. And the white pool where his gorgeous iris rested was a pool of red blood. Completely red.

This anger. I have witnessed it. I have seen this face, and this redness, this stillness.

It's the calm before the storm. The storm that left me dreading the last time I was caught in its winds.

But last time I had a saviour. Today?

I was alone in a room with him.

Just hide yourself in the room and shut the doors.

The words of instruction I have received several times replayed in my head.

The door was far away, with so many obstacles in the middle, the stool and the tables. And he was right across from me.

My fear was right, my nerves when they yelled at me to stop were right.

I shook my head, in the begging gestured, reminding the guy before me, I am Zehra. He would never hurt me intentionally and even if this was not intended he might do it in the fit of his anger.

He took a step towards me, and I shook my head vigorously. "Please, Daiwik no!" I begged him to be back, to be back at his normal state. But he just picked up his laptop and threw it beside my feet.

I gasped, sticking myself into the television even more, crumbling my feet back, so his attack does not hurt me.

I closed my eyes, shaking my head. My hand on my mouth, holding back my tears, and my screams, as he picked up the jug of water and threw it at the wall beside me. And the water splattered across me and the floor.