Taken As Reward (The war of politics and love BOOK 2 )

31. Zubaniyat

ZEHRA

His simple words, how does he manage to say the right thing every time? I looked at his multicolour iris, his eyes gleaming with something teary in them, his hair was rustled like he just had a war,
And I wonder if it was internal.

The bags under his eyes were such a good storyteller, inflicting how he hadn't slept a wink last night, and even though he had a smile on his face for looking at me, the water pool in his eyes that he did not allow to slip was his internal pain.

Watching him more destroyed than I ever was, all my past looked so trivial, so minor. I was visited by demons every night, but he? He lived with those demons always on his shoulders.

Everyday.

I could not see him, not because I hated him, but because the more I look at his face, the clearer his agony reflects on his face, doesn't matter if he had a smile on his lips by just looking at me.

And I was the reason, I closed my eyes shaking my head as my head fell in front of him.

He stepped back, and another with his rough boots, "Is it possible for me to see you again in the evening? Just for the briefest second? Please?" He asked me, and I was so consumed in my internal despair that I could not stop the agony burning my chest.

"No?" he answered himself, and I heard him taking another step back, "Okay, I have given Devakshaya the key to the house, ask him to bring whatever you will need." He instructed as he started to walk away.

And I looked up, ran two steps behind him when he halted and turned around to look at me.

"Why did you not tell me that you did come back?" I asked him, with no care in the world if it will be hurt him further.

I blamed him and condemned him for abandoning me! Despised him for forgetting me! And he did not once tell me that he was there, that he came back to save me.

Why did he not? Why did he take it all in, so silently?

How can he do that?

His jaw clenched, "Because your hatred was not that I did not show up. Your loath was for that I did not protect you," He said so subtly, no! He does not know me! He does not know what my revulsion was for and he can't assume.
"The truth is and always remains that I couldn't save you. Why does it matter? I am the reason that you were destroyed in hundred ways!"

"No! You were not the reason, Daiwik! You were never the reason. The person who slaughtered my existence was my brother! Murshad would have traded me with that man! Either you were there or not! My destiny was my brother's doing! You?" I clarified to him, taking a step down the stair, being at his eye level.
"You were my happiness! I stole from the world for the briefest second! And did not realise that my craving for happiness will become the greatest misery of your life." I told him and he shook his head,

"Zehra, I was the tragedy of your life."

His words broke me, reaching his height on the stair while I was one stair ahead of him, I caught his face in my hands and looked in his beautiful eyes.
"You were anything but a tragedy. You were my hope and you don't blame hopes for not being fulfilled." I cried to him and without a second guess, I kept my lips on his rough lips those astoundingly ragged lips that manage to speak such sweet words.

A man who is completely damaged inside manages to form words that can manage to recreate souls.

Just the way he managed to create mine.

He shook his head on my lips shaking and pulling his face back from me, but I did not take my hands away from his face,

"I have failed you hundreds of times, Zehra! I am a jerk! A creep and a selfish bastard who has failed you hundreds of times and still hoped that you will love me!" He laughed at himself but I still did not take my hands away from him,
"How did I not understand that I am a failure who has always brought you down?" he asked me, and before I could reply he continued the listing of his own set of assumptions that I can hardly fight is or isn't true.