BONUS 04

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ZEHRA

My body was pinned under a heavy body, the weight of the man was over my complete strength, and I could feel the discomfort building in between my legs. The ache that was ruling my heart.
I was contradicted, by the memories of Vandigana, my eyes had the letters in front of me, the roses I grew in the backside of my house, only to gift it to the person who sent me those letters and gifts.

The sweat was covering me, I was trying to cry and beg but the pain was unbearable.

"Zehra!" The voice in the distance was calling me, from the other end of the door.
"Zehra!" I heard the recall again. "Zehra!" I was shaken under the heavy body, of a man who was already inside my core.

My body was shaking strenuously, and my eyes opened suddenly.
The new thing before my eyes was not the body of an unknown man, or the ceiling of chandravani haveli.
Now? It was our home.
Daiwik and mine.

He was the one holding onto my trembling self, while he revived me from the dream, where I was pawning my own body. He saved me before I had crumbled in my dream.

He might have missed on many times from saving me in the past, but since the day he appeared for who he is?
In my every nightmare, he has rescued me constantly, from my every dread.

I found his soothing mixed green eyes waiting on me, calmly, for my resurrection, he was holding onto my hand in a tight clutch, enough that I felt my hand going numb under his hold.

He used his other hand to bring back his hand and swiped the tears that I didn't realise had escaped my lids, with his hand. Carefully he used the same hand to clean the sweat off my forehead.

I tried to bring myself up, but being heavily pregnant for the second time, after Raagyata I struggled. Daiwik brought me above and helped me sit with my back on the dashboard.

The entire bedroom was decorated with flowers already, house was covered with the flowers and decorations of the Hindu wedding.

He helped me with his free hand, pushing me upwards and making me stable enough to sit back on the headboard.
"I think we should consult a doctor for your nightmares," Daiwik said softly. These dreams don't come often,
I am even aware of when and why they do.

Days when I sleep in Daiwik's arm without realizing I slept, those nights are replenished with lovely dreams. But days when I think about how happy I am, and how beautiful my life is. These nightmares appear.
Because somewhere I feel I don't deserve so much happiness.

I know I do, I have suffered too much and bored too much to blame myself for being happy. But the surreal bliss I own in the form of my husband. Anyone would feel worthless in front of his perfection.

I wanted to tell him, no need. But I just looked at the decorations, and my eight-and-a-half-month-old stomach was stretched.
The wedding date for me and Daiwik was based on some traditional star alignment, and it was clarified that the wedding could either take place this year on month only, or with our names and fate, there could be no Hindu wedding for the next six years.

Daiwik was ready to take the step of waiting another six years for me. But I was not ready to make us bear another six years of waiting.

And pregnant for the second time in the current condition, we were going to get married for the second time. And this time in Hindu form.
I have seen Daiwik being exactly excited about it when he was excited about our Muslim wedding.

My eventual guess was, that he would be extremely happy because the Islamic wedding meant nothing for him. Yet his indifference made me believe, that he does treat both our religions with the same love.

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