I can never be yours (Completed)

Chapter 35

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His eyes went wide. In almost an year, he had not seen her crying. This was such an unsettling site.

He was used to her happiness, her smile only. He never like her tears. He threw his suitcase aside and went to her in two long strides. Lifting her face, the site in front of him shook him to his core. Her eyes were red and puffy, like she was crying for hours, her cheeks stained with tears and her chin was wobbling. 

"W.. what happened baby?!" He asked, his tone wavered, he failed his promise to not let a single tear stain her beautiful orbs. She looked at him with nothing but hurt. Her eyes held no stance. She knew everyone has past, but why does it hurt so damn much.....

She averted her gaze and closed her eyes to stop the over flowing tears from her eyes, to stop the unwanted thoughts in her mind. He was hurt badly by her this action. She must not be aware of this but her small actions were hurting him to the extent nothing can....

"T..talk to me Dhriti, please, baby.... tell me, what's wrong, you know, I hate seeing you like this." He said, his tone wavered, his dominant aura melting down. She wiped her tears and shook her head, not believing her mouth. She did not want to say something which might hurt him badly.

 She got up and started walking toward the bathroom. Shivaay was not able to take it anymore. First of all, he was so eager to be with her to touch her, that he came early, now her tantrums. He got up and reached her. Grabbing her elbow, he harshly tugged her to his chest. Not a second later she started wiggling in his arms.

"Stop it dhriti." He shouted at her making her flinch badly. She started crying more. He sighed and cupped her cheeks.

"I am asking last time, what happened..." He asked. It took her a few minutes to calm herself down. Her cries were now just sobs with occasional  hiccups. He waited for her only to hear the answer which infuriated him more.

"N... nothing" His hold tightened on her elbow. She looked at him with furrowed eyebrows. He gave her a questioning look. And it was enough for her to break down. She pushed him making him shocked. He was not prepared for this so he stumbled back a little.

"You are asking me what happened." She threw an accusing glare to him. No matter how much she tried, she just can't. She can't digest the fact that her husband had slept with more women then she had befriend with. "You happened." She said.

"I... I c..can't shivaay." Her acqusations died down, only hurt was seen. She lowered her gaze. His heart gave a loud painful thump.

"It hurts." She said.

"What Hurts sweetheart." He asked, trying her to be open with him.

"It hurts..." She said shaking her head, " It hurts, when someone comes and tells me you are not my first, it hurts to know that I was never someone special to you like you were to me, I know I should not judge you, I should not say this, I know it was in past, it... it doesn't matter now. B.. But what if someone else came tomorrow and tells me t..that they have seen this body of yours, much before i...I did. Don't blaming you for that, b... but I can't help." She broke down by the end of sentence.

His eyes darkened, at her convictions. He was angry, but above all, he was..... hurt. He knew he don't come clean but that doesn't mean she was not his first. Yes, maybe she was not the first one he had sex with, but she was the first, he gave his heart to, first to be his girlfriend, first wife, first woman ever he had made love to. She was the first girl to listen o forbidden words from his mouth. Let it be I love you, Sorry, thankyou, and what not.

"I thought we discussed it." His voice low, laced with hurt making her instantly regret whatever she said.

"I.. I know, And I told you already, I am not blaming you, I Just..." She can't find words to complete her sentence. It was hard to converse now.

"I thought, you will accept me the way I am, I thought, we have been over it, I thought, I made it clear to you that you are the only one for me, And you blamed me for everything, saying 'Don't blame you for that.'" He said, in a low voice. 

"I... I know, b... But i..it hurts, hurts so damn much" She said, keeping a hand on her chest, sobbing loudly. He looked at her with watery eyes. Tomorrow, they will complete the whole year of being together, this was not what he wanted to end their one year of togetherness to end like. 

"I never knew, I will meet someone like you Dhriti, I never ever thought like that, I had always thought I will be alone, But the day I found you, the day I saw you, I had knew that yes, I can also have someone... Someone who will love me with my pros and cons, someone who will accept me for whoever I am. Rather it be in future or..... in the past." She started regretting more, but he didn't stopped.

"If I ever knew I would love someone like you, I can swear to whoever you want, that I... I would've never touched anyone, never even let anyone touch me.. let alone sleep with them, and still you think that I am the one to be blamed." He said, hurt visible in his eyes, she instantly shook her head, and took some steps in his direction, but he retorted.

"No, don't touch me, if you don't want to.... you don't want to touch used things now.... do you." He said with tears in his eyes. 

"You know I did not meant that, please..." Dhriti said.

"So what do you meant, do you meant, that I don't love you... Or what...." He asked, she shook her head, now regretting even to talk to him about this matter.

"You know I don't mean it." She said but he shook his head, taking two steps back he turned around and left. If she was hurt, he was hurt too. Not like he had slept around knowing he will fell in someone like her.

Left her alone to grieve at her words, even when she was not even at the mistake.