Slap Post: What I Love

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"So," Jade sighs, "for a while now I've been making those videos where I talk about things I hate. And I've been getting a lot of brilliant comments from people saying stuff like 'Duh! Wow, Jade why you gotta be hating all over the place' And, 'Naaa! Chill out Jade. Take some ibuprofen.'" She sits and stares at the camera.

 "Well guess what genius', I don't hate everything. If I hated everything that'd make me predictable.. and I" she trails off, grabbing her maroon mug from her side table. "Not predictable." She states, before drinking from her mug.

"So, just to show you all that in addition to hating things, which I absolutely do, I also love

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"So, just to show you all that in addition to hating things, which I absolutely do, I also love.. And to prove it, I made this pretty little sign!" Jade exclaims as she leans down, grabbing it from the floor.

 And to prove it, I made this pretty little sign!" Jade exclaims as she leans down, grabbing it from the floor

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"Ain't it pretty?" She asks.

"The first thing I love that I can tell you about, actually involves the sign I made

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"The first thing I love that I can tell you about, actually involves the sign I made." She says before picking up the sign from her lap and showing it to the camera. "Because I used a pair of scissors to make it." She murmurs, before grabbing the pair of scissors sitting beside her, in the crevasse of her seat. 

"These," She clutches them tightly, using both her hands to hold them. "Are my favorite scissors. I love them." She shakes her head, "I love the sound they make." Jade says before moving closer to the camera, opening and closing the scissors repeatedly as she listens in bliss. "Love it."

"I love locking myself in the bathroom, turning off the lights and just sitting until my little brother knocks on the door and says, 'Jade? Jade? Please let me in Jade, you've been in there for hours, please let me in

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"I love locking myself in the bathroom, turning off the lights and just sitting until my little brother knocks on the door and says, 'Jade? Jade? Please let me in Jade, you've been in there for hours, please let me in.'" She mimics her scared little brother's voice. "And then I say, 'Oh, sorry. No." She says softly.

" She says softly

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"I love coffee." Jade nods, holding her mug close to her face. "Yeah, I know a lot of people say they think they love coffee, but they just mean they like it a lot. I love it, like sometimes I swear I wanna marry coffee."

"One time," She sighs, leaning back into her chair, hiking her leg up comfortably. "My grandmother said to me, 'Jade, when you grow up, what kind of man do you want to marry?"' She says, using a squeaky trembling voice. "And I said, I want to marry a woman," She accentuates, "like coffee."

"And she goes, 'What does that mean!?"

"So, I said 'HEY! GET OUTTA HERE GRANDMA!" She yells, before glancing angrily down to her mug of coffee. She takes a sip and shakes her head. "I love it."

"I love it when a new movie comes out and it's supposed to be all emotional and heartwarming, you know feel good movie of the summer and then it BOMBS at the box office," She smiles

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"I love it when a new movie comes out and it's supposed to be all emotional and heartwarming, you know feel good movie of the summer and then it BOMBS at the box office," She smiles. "Like a huge disaster. Like so bad that it totally ruins the director's career." She nods, a satisfied grin on her face. "I love that."

"This video is over

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"This video is over. That make you sad?" She asks, before leaning closer to the camera, smirking. "I love that."

*Click*

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