Harry's Rose

Chapter 56

I wake up to Matilda crying so I get up and walk into her room that's next to mine. I pick her up out of the crib and sit down in the rocking chair we have in her room. I try feeding her but she won't latch on. I tried a few more time on both sides but she won't do it so I started crying. I cry with her in my arms when Harry walks in.

"What's wrong love" he says walking over to me

"She won't latch on and I'm so tired Harry. I don't know what to do" I say in tears

"Here love let me grab a bottle from downstairs" Harry says going to grab one

I put Matilda back in her crib and go into my room and lay in bed and cry. Harry walks in our room holding her and sees me crying in bed. He walks out and comes back in without Matilda and comes and holds me.

"Your okay love. Don't cry" he says

"I feel hopeless. Why won't she latch on" I cry into Harry's chest

"Nothings wrong with you love" Harry says

"I feel like there is" I say

Harry holds me until I calm down and fall asleep in his arms

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Harry's POV

I gave Matilda to Liam and Zayn so they could feed her while I comfort her. She finally falls asleep so I text Liam to just put Matilda back in her crib when she's asleep so I can stay with Rose. I hold Rose close and run my fingers through her hair for the rest of the night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I get out of bed around 9 am to make some breakfast. As I'm cooking Matilda is laying on one of my arms fast asleep. As I'm cooking she moves her little hands so one holds onto my shirt. I stop cooking for a second to tweet a picture saying "helping dadda with breakfast". It immediately gets so many comments and likes. We still haven't shown anyone her face yet for privacy reasons but she's the cutest little thing ever. I put the food on the counter for the boys and walk into the tv room and sit down on the couch. I start singing to Matilda.

"If I could fly
I'd be comin' right back home to you
I think I might
Give up everything, just ask me to
Pay attention, I hope that you listen
'Cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely
And forget who you are
I'm missing half of me
When we're apart
Now you know me
For your eyes only
For your eyes only
I've got scars
Even though they can't always be seen
And pain gets hard
But now you're here and I don't feel a thing
Pay attention, I hope that you listen
'Cause I let my guard down
Right now I'm completely defenseless
For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely
And forget who you are
I'm missing half of me
When we're apart
Now you know me
For your eyes only
For your eyes only
I can feel your heart inside of mine
I feel it, I feel it
I've been goin' out of my mind
I feel it, I feel it
Know that I'm just wastin' time
And I hope that you don't run from me
For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely
And forget who you are
I'm missing half of me
When we're apart
Now you know me
For your eyes only
For your eyes only
I'll show you my heart
For when you're lonely
And forget who you are
I'm missing half of me
When we're apart
Now you know me
For your eyes only
For your eyes only
For your eyes only"

When I finish singing Rose sits down next to me. I look at her but notice somethings off about her.

"Are you okay love" I ask

"I'm okay hazz" she says

She takes Matilda from me and holds her in her arms. The sleeping baby doesn't move but watching her breath is the sweetest thing ever.

"I'm going to go put her in her crib so the boys don't have to be quiet" Rose says

"Okay love" I say and kiss her

Rose's POV

I put Matilda into her crib gently and than go into the bathroom. I pull my shirt off and look at myself in the mirror. Tears start to form in my eyes because I can't handle how overweight I looked. I put my shirt on and go over to the toilet and throw up the little bit of food I had left in there. When I'm done I cleaned myself up. When walking out of the bathroom I get a little dizzy so I go and sit down on the bed for a while. I didn't realize how long I was sitting there for until Harry came in.

"What are you doing love" Harry says sitting down next to me

"I just got a little dizzy so I'm just taking a break" I say

"Are you feeling alright" he asks

"I think I need to rest. My head is killing me" I say

"Okay love. I'll be checking up on you" he says

Harry kisses my forehead and gets up and walks out closing the door behind him. I lay down in bed and turn the tv on low so I'm not in complete silence. My mind starts to wonder about if I should tell Harry what's been going on with me lately or not. I decide to just text to Zayn since he's my best friend.

Rose: hey Z can you come to my room and talk for a little bit

Z: yea I'm on my way

A few seconds later Zayn walks through the door and comes and sits next to me.

"What did you want to talk about" he says

"I'm just going to get straight to the point" I say

Zayn nods his head telling me to continue.

"My eating disorder came back" I say

"What. Did you tell Harry" Z asks

"No I've been scared. I'm afraid that I'll have to go back into a program like I did when I was 14" I say

"You'll be okay love. Just please talk to Harry. You know he cares about you so much" he says

"I will Z. I just don't know when" I say

"I'll let you think about it but please tell me when's the last time you ate" he says with a worried look

"I haven't eaten a real meal since we came home from the hospital" I say

"Sis that's been almost two weeks. I'm telling Harry to get you food and come watch a movie with you" Z says

"Thanks Z. I don't know what I would do without you" I say with tears in my eyes

Harry walks in 20 minutes later with a cheeseburger and fries for me since the boys ordered food. When he sits down next to me in bed and hands it to me i immediately feel disgusted from the smell.

"Here love. Zayn told me you wanted food and to watch a movie with me" he says with a smile

"Thanks Hazz but I really can't eat that" I say almost gagging

Harry puts the plate on his bedside table and turns to me

"I knew something was wrong love. Why didn't you tell me" he says wrapping me in his arms

"I was really scared. I wanted to loose all this weight because I feel disgusting" I say

"Love you aren't disgusting. You grew our child and now she needs you. Please eat something and than I'll show you how much I love your body" he says

"Okay Hazz" I say