Chapter 60

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I'm sitting at the edge of the pool watching the sunrise when Liam comes running out of the house in panic. He looks at me and immediately sighs of relief. He walks over to me and sits next to me.

"Hey hazz what are you doing" Liam says

I choose not to answer Liam because I'm not in the mood to talk to anyone lately. I just get up and walk back into the house. Liam follows me. I go into the living room and lay down on the couch.

"Lou and I are going to go pick up Matilda for you" Niall says

I nod and than close my eyes.

Niall's POV

Lou and I walk out of the house and get into Harry's car since he already had the car seat. 45 minutes later we make it to Anne's house and walk up to the door. Louis knocks and we wait for Anne to answer.

"Hello boys" Anne says and hugs us both

"We have came to pick up Matilda" Louis says

"She's sleeping right now so come inside for a little while" Anne says

We walk inside and sit down at the kitchen table with Anne.

"Anne can I ask you something" I say

She nods

"Has Harry always struggled with depression" I say

"Not always but it has happened a few times. He's never done anything drastically that he would hurt himself but he used to stay in bed for days" Anne says

"Oh okay. Well it's getting worse and we don't know what we should be doing" I say

"Is Rose doing anything to help him" Anne says

"Oh Harry didn't tell you" I say

"Rose checked herself into the hospital to help with her eating disorder because she wants to be around to watch Matilda grow up" Louis says

*Anne gives us a sympathetic look*

"How is Harry doing with this" she says

"He's not doing good. Liam is watching him closely because we caught him" I say

"Oh no.." Anne says shocked

"We just don't know what to do" Louis says

"Thank you for telling me boys. If he does it again I'm coming over" Anne says

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Lou and I walk back into the house with Matilda in her carrier. I take her over to the tv room where Harry is still laying down on the couch staring into space. I take her out of her carrier and bring her over to Harry.

"Here Harry. Hold your daughter" I say

Harry sits up and takes Matilda. He holds her in his arms and just looks at her.

Harry's POV

Matilda is the cutest baby in the world. I love her so much because she looks just like Rose. I just hold her in my arms while she looks up at me. Matilda than gives me a smile but I don't smile back because I physically can't. I'm in so much pain and don't even want to say anything. I just let her little fingers wrap around my finger and look into her eyes. We stay like this until she starts to get fussy. I bring her into the kitchen and make a bottle for her. I give it to her and she immediately starts eating it. She's an easy baby but I can't wait for her to grow up. I walk back into the tv room and see Liam sitting on the couch so I walk over to him.

"Can you finish feeding her. I need to go take a shower" I say

"Sure mate" Liam says and takes Matilda from me

I walk upstairs and into my room. I walk over to my desk and sit down at it and start writing.

Dear mates,
      I don't know how much longer I can be here for. I care so much about all of you including Matilda. I love Rose so much but I no longer want to be here anymore. All the thoughts in my head are getting to me. I just want to give in and makes them all stop so that's what I might do. If I end up doing something and it works just know I'm in a better place and I'm happier than ever. I'll be safe where I'm going and the voices in my head will finally stop telling me to hurt myself. Please tell Rose that I'm very sorry and that I'll always love her because she was the best person to come into my life. She gave me love and even a baby girl who I also love very much. I really want to stick around and see Matilda grow up but I'm in so much pain and can't do this anymore. I'm so sorry for making everyone worry about me all the time. Now you all can live free and continue writing music. Maybe Louis will finally be lead and Niall will finally be heard. Again I'm really sorry for having to leave so soon but this is what's best.

Love,
Harry <3

After I finish writing I get up out of my chair and go lay in bed. I lay facing the wall and just stare at it until I fall asleep

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