Don't Lose Sight of Me

(37) I'm Tired

Juliette
"He's just a friend."

Tom scoffs and shakes his head. "Juliette they're always JUST friends. It's never anything more with you until suddenly it is!" He growls angrily.

"I'm allowed to have friends Tom! You can't control every aspect of my life!"

"I'm not saying you can't have friends! But EVERY TIME you meet a new friend during some bullshit period, it always ends bad."

I furrow my eyebrows. "What's that suppose to mean?" I ask him. He sighs and looks to the side at the window. "I'm not doing this right now. No. I don't want you going near him anymore." He mumbles as he begins to walk away.

It didn't take long for me to realize what he was implying. But I just wanted to hear him say it.

"Don't pretend you're better than me." I mumble. He stops walking but doesn't turn around. "Say it."

He takes a deep breath, and sighs. "You always end up with feelings for them." He mumbles. "Austen. Me. Josiah. And probably this Peter guy too. And I'm not doing that bullshit again."

I dryly chuckle, and look over to the framed roll of pictures of Tom and I. They were the first pictures we ever took around the time we were beginning to realize that what we had wasn't just a moment. Sometimes I wish I could go back to that boardwalk.

Flashback
"Do you not tell her because you're worried she'll react badly? Or because telling her would mean admitting that maybe you're not meant to be with lover boy."

That was the first time things were put into perspective for me. The first time I realized that maybe it was always suppose to be Tom.

"I haven't enjoyed someone's company this much, since ever. Thank you." He mumbles, warmly smiling at me.

"YOU SLEPT WITH GIA! YOU'VE SLEPT WITH MULTIPLE GIRLS BEHIND MY BACK!!" I scream at him.

"ALL I SAID WAS YOU ALWAYS FALL FOR EVERY FUCKING GUY YOU MEET!! HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO REACT WHEN YOU'VE CONTINUED TO PROVE IT TO ME!! JUST LOOK AT HOW WE STARTED. JULIETTE I'M DOING THAT AGAIN!" He screams back.

"YOU WENT AFTER ME!" I scream reminding him. "Because I thought it seemed fun. Like a game. But you were never suppose to be more than a moment to me." He mumbles.

I stay silent, feeling his words jab painfully at me. He sighs and numbly looks up at me. "You thought it was a game?" I ask him.

He shrugs. "Why would you say that to me? After everything? I've always chosen you." I sniffle feeling my eyes begin to water from the stinging tears.

He leans against the door frame, resting his head against it. "Let's be honest Juliette. It was never going to be me." He mumbles. "You were never going to tell Austen. I was the one that told him that night at the party. You only chose me because he made the choice and decided to leave. But in that moment, you were ready to chase him. Not me."

Before I can respond to Tom, Emi appears from behind him. "I think maybe you two need to walk away right now. Before things get worse." She mumbles quietly to us.

Tom
Juliette sniffles and nods in agreement, storming past me. A few seconds later, the front door slams shut and I can hear Juliette's car drive off.

Emi looks at me, as if she were studying me or some shit. "What?" I ask her. She shakes her head. "What's going on?" She asks me.

I furrow my eyebrows and push myself off the doorframe, walking towards the window and looking down at the spot where Juliette's car was parked moments ago. "Nothing."