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Nial.

Discomfort.
                         
Disappointment.

And the fear that she looked at us with was overbearingly heart-consuming that made my own heart clench in pain. I didn't want her to feel like that. No one of us wanted her to feel like that.

She broke down.

But none of those things hurt more than the look of pure self-hate and disgust she had on with the gloomy atmosphere that we were trapped in while departing home didn't make it any better.

Sofia refused to talk to us as she cried silently, her heart-wrenching quiet sobs racked through her small form and I fought the urge to comfort her in any way she'd let me.

But I held myself back.

My brothers were no better.

Nadei was seething in anger as he always did instead of showing the hurt and expressing the pain that he felt. He bottled it up and I'm afraid that it'll catch up to him one day.

Nikolai being the one with his heart on his sleeve and the most sensitive one amongst us had sadness and desperation colored all over his face staring longingly at Sofia, his hands clenched in tight fits. Probably to not hug her knowing that it just might just make things worse.

And I sat quietly, my thoughts contradicting each other as I thought of a way to not make Sofia hate us more than she did but give her the freedom and sovereignty she said she wanted.

But how?

I knew that this would happen at some point because of the way she acted the last few days not really showing us much of her true feelings and self.

She is guarded and secretive but who didn't have secrets?

But what stood out the most in her beautiful light-colored eyes was the emptiness that made me desperately want to know why she felt like that?

I wanted to know who scarred her and broke her down so bad and make them pay.

It hurt to see her push us away, we wanted nothing but to ensure her well-being and restore her happiness. I wished to see how an actual genuine smile would look on her, not those tight-lipped smiles that didn't reach her eyes.

Her pleas were etched in my brain and were repeated over and over again.

Please, take me home. Please, take me home.

Home, home, home.

I shook my head out and ran a hand through the scruff on my jaw staring out into the distance with an irritant flood of insecurity and false hateful thoughts.

I truly understood where she was coming from but she needed to understand too that we were not letting her leave, ever.

She silenced our demons whenever she was around and she was peace.

We vowed to make sure that she stayed with us.

-

Sofia.

I could feel their gazes on me.

And almost feel their anger, sadness and desperation. M situation was no good either. I wanted to fall into Nikolai's arms and hug him telling him that I was sorry for the way that I was.

Damaged, understandable and so fucking foolish.

I wanted to hold Nial's hand and tell him how much I appreciated his kind and caring nature with his kind smile, reassurance and respectfulness.

I wanted to tell Nadei how much I liked his mama bear attitude and playfulness and even his grumpiness and those nicknames of his.

I wanted to tell them how much I liked the way they were treating me, how much I started to feel better about myself, and how safe and protected I felt with them.

But no.

At the same time, I wanted to hurt them, physically-- even if I was practically a midget-- emotionally, and mentally. I needed to get my anger out of them. Cuss them, kill them even for making me feel like this.

Like a hopeless romantic wanting to love and be loved but couldn't let anyone in.

And them kidnapping me doesn't make this any normal, in fact, it just made me sound like a horny 14-year-old wanting to be kidnapped by some hot dude and make her fall in love with him.

But in my case three hot dudes.

I spun my head seeing Nadei pull up and get out of the car abruptly with Nikolai following suit. Nial opened the door for me without meeting my tear-strained face and threw the two guards a firm nod a clear sign to leave begrudgingly.

My eyes cast down wiping the remnants of the salty liquid sniffling as I shuffled through the opened double doors toward their bedroom with a cloud over my head sporting a grim expression on my face.

Nadei heard one of my pained groans to scowl one last time before he strode in a different direction and that hurt more than I'd like it to admit.

And I couldn't help the slither of hate that slid its way to my heart at the action that made me want to go back in time and not help him.

Then, none of this would have happened.

-

I unlocked the door thankful that the trio aren't here as I undressed to have a long overdue bubble bath in the fancy tub hoping that it'd calm me down.

Hanging up the clothes in their places. I turn on the sound system in the bathroom, Traitor by Olivia Rodrigo blasting through the huge enclosed space with a soft hum.

Dipping my legs first in the water, I released a satisfied moan when my small frame is covered in.

I leaned back closing my eyes and traced random shapes with the bubbles which elicited a small giggle from me that turned into a bunch of choked sobs and ugly tears.

Closing my eyes shut feeling my thoughts racing up to me.

They wouldn't let me go. I was stuck.

But I could have whatever I wanted?

Then it popped into my head. I knew that I would have had to change my residency before as in I knew that I would have had to leave that town after 3 years or so. After all, you couldn't exactly hide in one place for too long, at least that was what he taught us.

Staying in one place is the dumbest thing a person on the run can do. And letting your enemy play with your head was much fucking worse.

Nothing should deter your initial escape plan. Was what he used to say.

And he was right.

I hated that he was right about everything.

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