Handcrafted by the Swans (Twilight Fan Fiction)

Chapter 36

Chapter 36

Bella's POV -

"Masen, please just go to sleep," I moaned getting off the bed for the 30th time in the past 10 minutes, having a Deja vu 30 times wasn't fun. Instead of listening me he just continued whining from his crib.

"Ugh!" I screamed, causing stifled moans to come from the other crib across the room.

I have been a little bit stressed these past few days and I have no idea why. Masen not sleeping very well may have something to do with it. It could be because Edward has been late night patrolling recently as Embry has been having problems with his mother so he switched shifts with him. It could be my hormones getting used to taking the pill. It could be because I haven't told Edward about it yet. Or it could be all three. I set Masen back into this crib and went back to lie on the bed.

"Mummy," Masen continued whining. It was 2am. Why couldn't he just lie down and let me have a peaceful night's sleep? "Mommy, bobo?" Masen asked.

"No! Please just lie down," I begged.

"Want dada," Masen stated before Rosa started crying from her crib.

That was when my knees gave way and I broke down, weeping into the side of the bed. I cried and cried and cried. It seemed like everything was going wrong. I was alone, in my own world of secrets. I had bottled all my feelings up, I hadn't told anyone how felt about moving away, about the stress with Masen, about missing Edward at night. This wasn't what I wanted and I knew I couldn't carry on like this anymore. I hadn't realised that I had been crying for 20 minutes while the Masen was screaming and Rosa was crying quietly the whole time. It was a good job Charlie hasn't been here these past few days – the man would never get any sleep, just like me. The thought of sleep made me cry harder. Just then I felt 2 strong arms that I knew all too well pull me off my knees and set me on the bed. He went and got a crying Rosa a pacifier before he lifted Masen out of his crib. He hushed instantly.

"Bella? Are you okay?" He asked worriedly.

I turned into his shoulder and cried even harder. Either he was thinking of something to say or he knew that I needed to let it all out because he didn't speak. After a few minutes, or hours who knows, I had calmed down and Masen was quietly sobbing. I lifted my head from Edward's shoulder and he dried the final tears falling from my eyes.

"How about a bath?" He asked. I nodded silently. "I'll go run it and get this little man some milk from the fridge."

I got my belongings ready for the bath. As I was shutting the door I heard Edward descend the stair to the kitchen to get Masen a bottle. I spent about 30 minutes in the bath, letting the hot water soak into my pores and relax my muscles. I concentrated on my breathing and tried to relax myself. When I returned to the bedroom in shorts and a t-shirt, I seen Masen sleeping in Edward's arms. He got up and put him gently in his crib. I crawled into bed and Edward climbed in beside me.

"Are you okay now?" Edward asked, quietly.

"Yeah," I sighed awkwardly.

"Want to talk about it?" He questioned.

"Not really," I shied away from the topic.

"Would you tell me if I wanted to know?" He pressed.

"It's nothing really," I sniffed.

"Bella..." Edward urged. "I know there is something up."

"Maybe there are a few things I'm struggling with," I admitted sheepishly.

"A few?" He spluttered in shock. "What like?"

"I don't want to move away so soon because there are so many memories here, memories we made. I want to stay, I'd miss this place, I'd miss Charlie. I think there is something wrong with Masen, he's been crying every night since you switched patrols and I feel lonely, and then..." I confessed, trailing of nervously.

"And then?" He prompted.

"There's something I haven't told you."

"You can tell me anything Bella," Edward assured.

"I've been talking the pill. Everyone thought it was best. I'm sorry for not telling you but you were upset when I said I wasn't ready for any more children. I just thought it would make this less complicated between up because we aren't exactly normal so I don't know if the normal precautions were going to work. I haven't been taking it for that long and if you're totally against it I can come off it," I waffled before Edward interrupted.

"Bella, it's okay, I understand," He said.

"I'm sorry, Carlisle said it was the best he could offer me and I wanted to be with you like that again," I vowed.

"Bella, it's okay," Edward replied. "We can take the kids to see your family tomorrow and you can get some rest. Perhaps Carlisle will have some time to look over Mace."

"Okay," I sighed.

"And now I have something to ask you," said Edward, carefully.

"What?"

"Well, I was talking to Alice the other day and she said something about Carlisle gifting a beautiful island to Esme – Isle Esme? I was wondering if you would like to have our wedding there before we go off and have our honeymoon? It might allow our families some time to relax and it might make leaving for New Hampshire a little easier," Edward suggested.

"I really don't want to leave, but it will be nice having our wedding somewhere else," I confessed.

"We can come back, don't worry. Charlie wouldn't let me stay away for ever," He explained.

"I supposed your right," I acknowledged.

"Of course I am," He joked.

"Yeah," I agreed.

"I love you," Edward told me.

"I love you," I replied.

~YTF$�}