This Love is Ours

Chapter 11: Clear Skies

{Abigail}

I had never seen anyone hurting so much.

I had never seen another human-being in that much emotional pain.

Right in front of me, was Patrick, his soul broken, his heart hurting.

And I didn't know what to do.

I've never heard him cry so hard.

I've never seen anyone cry so hard.

It tore me apart.

Watching him like that, tore me apart.

And it was only after twenty minutes of the two of us hugging each other, crying into one another, that he finally stopped.

I ran my hands through his hair repeatedly, and he held me tight.

I kissed his cheeks over and over again, whispering that he was going to be okay.

And he believed me.

His tears eventually slowed down, and then we sat in silence on the floor downstairs.

The lightning and thunder had passed.

All that could be heard was the light sound of rain against the windows.

He eventually managed to let go of the picture frame he was holding, and place it back in its original spot.

The two of us then made our way upstairs, and into our bed.

We held each other tight.

Patrick was shivering from his cold t-shirt, so I changed him into a dry, warm one. Eventually, he fell asleep, me right beside him.

Right now, it's Thursday, July 7, about 9:30 in the morning.

The storm is gone.

Sunlight streams through the curtains in our room.

The world is still.

Life goes on eighty-four floors below us.

Patrick is still asleep.

His arms are wrapped tightly around me, cocooning me, entirely.

I hold his hand, and his fingers are warm.

His breathing is slow and deep, and his face is sweet.

I admire him, as he sleeps.

I've always loved the way he sleeps.

My worst fear is to have to watch his life in pictures like I used to watch him sleep, and to feel him forget me, like I used to feel him breathe.

His eyelids are swollen, and heavy.

His eyelashes are thin and sweet, blonde, and just as brilliant as the eyes that lie behind them.

His skin is smooth and soft, his mouth closed, his lips pink.

He sleeps on his back, peacefully.

I place my head over the left side of his chest, feeling a heartbeat underneath his shirt.

I know the sound of his heartbeat.

I'm in love with the sound of his heartbeat.

I don't know what he dreamt about last night, but I love to think about it.

My eyes feel heavy and gross, from the tears last night.

My throat is swollen and slightly sore from screaming.

I don't know what happened last night.

I lost it with him, probably unfairly.

My emotions took over.

Occasionally, I'll feel as if I'm drowning in emotions, and spiraling in thoughts.

That is what happened last night.

I'm trying to forget it, but after seeing Patrick break down the way he did, I feel awful.

I feel awful thinking about how much he was hurting, because I love him too much.

Right then, Patrick begins to stir in his light sleep.

He makes small, soft groaning noises, before his eyelids flutter open.

The blue in his eyes has been refreshed, and are vivid and bright once again.

Around his eyes, are red, from the dried tears.

A few dried tears still sit on his cheeks.

He yawns, and then blinks a few times.

He looks over at me, and I smile back at him.

He rolls onto his side, so that he's looking straight at me.

"I'm sorry, about last night, Pat. I really am. I don't know what happened, but love, I just-" I start, but he cuts me off.

"Don't apologize. Just come here." Is all he says, his voice quiet and soft.

I bite my lip, and move closer to him.

My face is against his upper-chest, and my legs tangle up with his.

His arms wrap around me, and he starts running his hands through my hair.

"I love you, Abbers," He says, quietly.

"More than I have ever loved anyone." He finishes, softly.

"Christ, I love you too, Pat." I say, my voice muffled from his shirt.

"This love is ours." He says, a smile in his voice.

"This love is ours." I giggle, pressing my face further into his chest.

And in this moment, I know one thing:

Despite everything this cruel world has to throw at us, everything is going to be okay.

We are going to be okay.