Wanting to be loved (Zuko)

49.

After a while I try to release Zuko's arms from my waist and help him stand up. We walk back to the ostrich horse and I grab the reins 'Shall we walk back?' I ask softly and he just nods at me and takes my other hand. When we walked back the rain stopped and I took the water out of our clothes.

Zuko didn't speak the whole way back and when we reached Iroh he just walked into the house. Iroh looks at me 'The lightning didn't come his way' I whisper to him and he takes my arm and guides me further away from the house so we can talk freely. 'But something did happen' Iroh states 'Yes he completely broke down' I say and sit down. 'I can't express how grateful I am that you are there for him. I really want to thank you but I have no idea how' he said as he squeezes my hand. 'Don't worry about it Iroh. I'm here because I want to and I really want to help Zuko so I'm not going anywhere until he wants me' I assure him.

'How can you say that! After all you have done he can't throw you away if he is doing better' Iroh says shocked 'But that is the relationship we have Iroh, I help him and be there for him and that's all there is to it' I explain and stand up to walk to the house. I don't want to talk about what's going on between Zuko and I.

I think we don't even know what's going on ourselves. I have never known love and I didn't even know if what I felt for Sokka was real seeing how fast he was out of my thoughts. I'm sure Gran-gran loved me in a way but she was so busy with all the children that couldn't look out for themselves that I was more alone because I could look out for myself.

I was always very independent and most of the time alone. Since Katara and Sokka found Aang I have been so close to people all the time that I'm still not used to it. That's why I often walk off on my own and go hunting alone. I just need all the alone time I can get. I went inside the house and started to prepare the birds for dinner.

Zuko just stayed silent in the corner looking outside. When dinner was ready I called Iroh. We all sat in silence and after that I cleaned the dishes and got ready to sleep. As I laid down I feel Zuko moving over to me and putting his arm around my waist as usually. It doesn't take long for me to fall asleep and I have a nice dreamless sleep. One I hadn't have in a long time.

The next morning I get up while Zuko and Iroh are still sleeping and go out to find us some food. When I get back I see Zuko sitting by the fire he made and waiting for me to return, this was our routine when we were alone. I went out to look for food and water and Zuko packed everything and made a fire so that after we were done eating we could leave.

Iroh was still sleeping 'Zuko can you wake your uncle up while I prepare the food?' I ask him and he looks over to Iroh and sighs but then stands up and wakes him. After our breakfast was ready we eat in silence and once we finished we got the ostrich horse ready to leave.

I found some more bags to carry water with us so we had enough to drink and for me to fight if we didn't find any water. We were walking for a while when Iroh began to complain, really loud. Zuko asked if we needed to stop but Iroh said he didn't have to just for him, so we continued and Iroh continued with complaining so Zuko eventually stopped.

'We're surrounded' I say before I see them. Zuko is used to it and doesn't question it anymore. We got our stance ready and then there were five Fire Nation men and Iroh knew one of them. They attacked and I decided to let Zuko and Iroh handle them while I got on the ostrich horse ready for them to leave. We run away and after a long day we reach a little place that you couldn't call a village.

We got off and went inside some place. I had an uneasy feeling about Aang and it wasn't far away. I didn't tell Zuko about it because he was finally back to normal. We got something to drink and then Iroh saw a man sitting at a Pai Sho table and he walked over to play a game.

This annoyed Zuko because he didn't see the need, but then Zuko thinks everything has to be done with an purpose. I sit beside Iroh on the ground and look at the men laying down the tiles. But this isn't any game of Pai Sho I notice and then the other man says something about the white lotus, whatever that might be.

Zuko thinks the same and says something about it but the men ignore him. Two men come to us and say they want to take the two fugitives, Iroh and Zuko. The old man stands up and talks loud about them wanting to take the gold for themselves, this got the attention of all the other men.

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- xo Calypso-Nox.