afraid of kian lawley

14

Jc picked me up and I wrapped my arms around his neck, crying. "It's okay, Emma. He's gone now." I hugged him tightly until we got to my room. It's quieter in here. More comforting. "Please don't tell me that was Anthony. Please don't tell me that was fucking Anthony." He said after laying me down in my bed. "I-it wasn't. I-I-I don't know where he w-went." I trembled as I continued to cry. "Emma, you need to calm down for me. You're hyperventilating." Jc said. "I need Kian." I cried and coughed and gasped for air. "Emma," Jc trailed off. "I need Kian." I choked. "Seriously, you need to calm down." And that was the last thing I heard before everything went black again.

Kian.

"Kian! Kian you need to stop whatever you're doing right now!" Jc yelled against my door. "I'm kinda busy right now!" I yelled back as my hips thrusted against hers. "It can wait Kian!" I grunted. "No Jc, it really can't!"
"What the hell are you doing?" I'm doing to kill him. "I'm fucking Andrea, Jc, now please leave us alone!" And then it was silent.
"I'm really sorry about that." I panted as she laid beside me. "No, it's fine. I still think you should go see what he needed though. It seemed pretty important." She said, getting out of bed and putting her clothes back on. "And this is why I love you." I also got out of bed and slid my boxers back on. "Yeah, okay." She scoffed then left before me.
"What Jc? What the fuck is so important that you literally had to ruin a good fuck?" I asked him after I walked out of my door and he was pacing right there. "Someone almost raped Emma and now she's unconscious." He blurted out quickly. My heart stopped. But I also don't give a shit about her. Yes I do. I know I do. I like her. A lot. "Who the fuck did it? Was it Anthony? I swear Jc, I will fucking kill him." I said with my jaw clenched. "I don't know who he was, but I already beat the shit out of him. I'm pretty sure he left."

Emma.

My head and heart is pounding and I'm so cold. I feel like my hands could freeze water. True panic is taking over my body and I'm shaking. A lot. Now I'm breathing heavily again. And now I'm crying. "Emma, calm down." Kian said from across the room. "Kian." I sobbed. "What happened, Emma? Why did you let someone else touch you. You know you're all mine." He said coldly as he walked closer to me. "No Kian, don't be mad at me." I shook with fear. "But I am mad Emma. You let someone else fuck you. We all know I was the one who was going to take your fucking virginity. You know I was the one who needed to fuck you first. But you fucked everything up," he grabbed my wrists tightly "You let someone else fuck my little slut. How could you, Emma? How could you do such a thing to me?" He squeezed tighter and tighter.

"I'm sorry, Kian. I'm sorry." I cried out, gasping for air. "Emma, calm down. It's okay." He said placing his hand on my face. I jerked back at his touch. "I'm sorry, Kian. I didn't mean to. I tried to stop him I swear." I sobbed, shaking uncontrollably. "Emma, open your eyes. You were just dreaming." I slowly did as he said and he was right. It was just a dream. "I'm not mad." He calmly stated. I basically threw myself at him and wrapped my arms around his torso. "You're okay now. I won't let him hurt you." He whispered. It did happen, Kian just isn't mad.
"Fuck Emma, you're so cold." He said, rubbing his hand back and forth on my back. "I'm scared." I whispered against his bare chest. I'm wearing his sweatshirt and I've never felt more comfortable in it. "You're okay now. I promise." I cried against him more and more until I just didn't have any energy left.
"Where were you? I-I needed you." I quietly stated, somewhat scared he was going to get mad. "I don't know, Emma. I was probably drinking. I needed to forget about you." His words lingered in the air until I could think of something to say. "W-why do you want to forget about me?" I quietly questioned. "I think about you every damn second of the day, Emma. You're so beautiful and kind and sweet and it takes all I have to not kiss the shit out of you. But you don't like me back, Emma. You like Anthony even though he fucked up tonight. Somehow he'll make up some shit story and you'll forgive him then you'll be his and not mine. I know I fuck up a lot. It's easier to be mean to you and convince myself that I hate you." I lightly pressed my lips against his chest and stayed there for awhile. "Kian I need someone that generally cares about me. I understand that you like me, and sometimes I even like you too, but there's also times where I am scared of you. Sometimes I feel like you would kill me if Jc didn't live with us and that's not a good thing, Ki. You're a sweet guy when you want to be, and trust me, I love that guy more than I'll ever love anyone else, but when you're not that sweet guy, you want to hurt me. I came here to get away from living in constant fear. And obviously that didn't happen. So when you're ready to just be that one guy, then come tell me. I can't just wait around for you, Kian. When you're ready, then I am too." I hugged him tightly and he did the same. He knows I'm right. There's not reason to fight with me.

Kian ended up falling asleep before me so I've been observing his face for a while now. His nose ring looks good on him. I secretly like it, but he thinks I hate it. He has the perfect face. I swear he's beautiful. I understand why so many people love him. I'm sure he's sweet Kian to them. They don't know what he's like when he gets mad. They don't know what he's like when he's upset. They honestly don't know much about him other then what they see in his videos. Jc too. I'm sure he acts like a tough guy. He looks like one, so why not act like one.
I'm going to have to watch their videos soon. But for now I need to sleep. I decided to kiss him on the lips because I'm sure this will be our last time for awhile. Somehow he didn't wake up. Good. "I love you, Kian." I whispered before wrapping my body around his and laying my head on his chest.

i'm emotional