afraid of kian lawley

50

I've been out on the balcony, crying for hours. Kian just doesn't fucking get it. He never will. "Emma open the door," he said, pounding on it. I didn't move. I don't want to talk to him. "Emma. Open the fucking door." My crying got worse again as I thought about how mad he is. I'd be an idiot to open that door. "Come on Emma I just want to talk." There was no need for me too. He knocked it down himself.
I silently shook, waiting for him to grab me. "What do you want Kian?" I asked him quietly. "You're not two times bigger than Andrea. Hell, you're smaller than her. And it doesn't fucking matter. If I didn't like the way your body is, then I wouldn't be with you. I love your body and everything that comes with it."
"You only 'love' it because you can fuck it." I spat. "That's not fucking true," Kian said, gripping my shoulder. My heart started pounding faster, but I stayed still. "You know I love you. You fucking know it Emma. You don't need to hurt yourself to please me. I—what is that?" Kian stopped himself, grabbing my arm lightly. "What the fuck Emma?" he spat, running his finger along the new cuts. "Kian stop it. That hurts." I whined. He pulled his hand away and kneeled in front of me. "You promised.." he trailed off. "And you promised you'd stop drinking." I nearly spat. I don't want to be mad, but I can't help it. He fucking lied to me. "You know what? Just go to bed Kian. I don't.. I don't want to talk to you while you're drunk. It's not easy and you're too aggressive." I said, standing up. "I'm not drunk, Emma," he said, tightening his grip on my arm.
I scoffed before pulling away from him and going down the hall to one of the other bedrooms. If he won't leave mine, I guess I'll just have to sleep in a different room. I'm not sleeping with him tonight. There's no fucking way.

Kian.

I don't understand why she's so upset. It was only a few beers. It's not like I drank eight bottles of vodka. Then she goes and fucking self harms again. Why does she do this? Doesn't she realize it affects other people too? God she can be so selfish sometimes.
I just need to fucking get out of here. I've been trying to sleep on the couch for over an hour and I just can't fucking do it. She actually expects me to sleep in her bed! Sometimes I really do question how we're a couple.

Emma.

I haven't slept at all. Crying, heavily breathing, tossing, and turning would be the only thing happening in this lonely room. And I bet you, I fucking bet you, Kian's sound asleep with nothing on his mind. Comfy, in my bed. My fucking bed.
I just need to talk to him. He has to be sober by now. Maybe he could actually apologize and I could go sleep with him again. Yeah, I can do that.
I left the extra room, and headed towards mine when my phone rang. "Hello?" I asked, my voice raspy. "Emma Pottorff? This is Stacy from Malibu Urgent Care. Your boyfriend Kian has been in a car accident."
"What? No, that's not right! He's.. he's right here.. In my.." I opened my door just to find an empty bed. "Wh-where is he? Is he okay?" I asked in a panic after realizing he wasn't there. "Currently in sugary, he had severe internal bleeding." I stood there, not knowing what to do. "Can you send an ambulance or something? He took our car and.."
"Ma'am I can only send an ambulance if there's an emergency. Why not call an uber?" I sighed at her words and opened the uber app. "I-I'll be there as soon as possible." I sighed again into the phone.

"Jc.. Ki-Kian was in a car accident and.. and I'm getting an uber now.. but.. but can you please come. I just.. I don't want to wait alone." I trembled into my phone. I heard shuffling before he answered. "What? Are you okay? Where is he? Should I come get you?"
"I guess he drove off when I was sleeping. I-I don't know he was drunk and we were fighting and.. and I'm scared Jc. I'm so fucking scared."
"Emma, where is he at right now."
"Malibu Urgent Care," I sobbed into the phone. "Alright I'll meet you there in about an hour then, okay?" I nodded even though he can't see me. "Everything will be okay, Em. He'll be fine." Jc said before hanging up.

"So who's hurt?" the driver asked me as soon as I got in. Do I know him? I don't want to stare and it's too dark. "My uh.. my boyfriend." I said, trying to figure out who this is. "You and Kian are still together huh?" the man said. What the hell? "H-how do you know Kian? W-who are you?" I asked, becoming more and more nervous. "Don't you remember me babe? School parking lot?" My heart sunk and I began to rapidly shake. I didn't say anything. What should I say? He fucking assaulted me.

"Well here we are." Marcus spoke. I wanted to open the door and run, but somethings stopping me. What the hell? Suddenly a warm weight appeared on my thigh. I didn't do anything. He moved his hand up further. I still didn't do anything. What's wrong with me? Marcus placed his finger on my chin then turned my head to face his. Out of nowhere he kissed me. And surprisingly enough, I kissed back.
"No, no I can't. I-I'm sorry.. No.." I trailed off, getting out of the car, and running inside. "K-Kian Lawley. H-how is he? Is he okay?" I asked as soon as I walked in. "And who are you? We're aware that this boy is famous, and people have come here for him before. I need some proof you know him personally," the lady said. I'm slightly offended. "Someone named Stacy fucking called me. Look." I said, holding my phone up, showing the hospitals number. "Emma! Yes, i'm Stacy! I'm sorry, just security reasons, ya know?" I awkwardly smiled. "Mhm yeah, is Kian okay?"
"He just got out of surgery. But, visiting hours don't start up again until nine am, so you still have five hours to go." Great. Just fucking great.

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE AND ONCE AGAIN I'M SORRY ABOUT THE WHOLE MESS UP I GUESS THE PUBLICATION FAILED AND AH BUT MAKE SURE YALL THINK OF IDEAS

all the love xx