afraid of kian lawley

46

Once again, my life is still shit. How many times have I fucked up in the last week? Well according to all of my dads marks, twenty three. Twenty three fucking times. And what did I get for my birthday, you ask? Well, I got four more bruises on my arms, then I got to wash all of the laundry in the house!
Sam's back. I was so happy to see him, but he ended up treating me like shit as well. He hasn't hurt me to bad yet, but the verbal abuse is real.

"Emma get down here!" my dad yelled. I sat frozen on my bed. He seems pretty mad. I don't know what to do. "Get the fuck down here!" he yelled again. I slowly stood up and began to walk downstairs.
"What the hell is this?" he yelled, holding up my phone. Fuck. Fucking hell. "I thought I fucking asked you if they got you a phone or not! And you fucking lied to me!" I stood there frozen, not knowing what to do. "I told you not to fuck with me!" He's obviously drunk. His words are slurred and he can barely stand. I stayed in my spot as he pulled something out of his waistband. Fuck. Fucking hell. I'm dead.
"What the hell did the fucking slut do now?" Sam yelled a few minutes later, walking down the stairs. I feel like my hearts going to beat out of my chest. I'm trembling. "Woah what's with the gun.." Sam said, holding his hands up. "Your sister fucking lied to me! She could have called the fucking police!" I don't know what to do. A pull of the trigger and everything's gone.
Of course I'm thinking of Matty. He was playing with a gun in my favorite music video of theirs, robbers. Now everybody's dead and they're driving past my old school and he's got his gun and he's got his suit on and she says babe, you look so cool. My favorite quote. Babe you look so cool. I would always say that to Matty before he kissed me. Wait. Kian. At my first concert. I whispered that in his ear. I miss him. I miss him so much. I'm still in love with him. And I'm gonna die with him thinking I hate him. Fucking hell.
"Why don't you do the honors," my dad said to Sam. Fuck. He hates me. "Gladly," he spoke. My dad gave Sam the gun then moved over to me, holding my arm tightly.
I stood still as Sam aimed the gun right at me. "You're such a fucking slut. You slept with all of my friends, you slept with strangers, you slept with a random guy in some shitty band, you've basically slept with everyone in LA. What the hell is wrong with you? Can't you do anything right? You're a fucking disgrace to this f-"
"Nobody move! Put your hands up!" A large man yelled after the door burst open. I threw my hands up, waiting for my dad to take his hands off of me. Sam smiled, holding his hands up happily. What the hell? They made him put down the gun, then cuffed his hands behind his back. Soon enough my dad was doing the same as Sam. An officer came over to me asking if I was okay. I didn't move. I didn't say a word. I can't. I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't breathe. "Are you okay ma'am? Ma'am? Are you okay?" the man asked repeatedly. I didn't answer. My breathing got quicker, and I started shaking. "It's okay. You don't have to worry. You're okay now," the man spoke. I can't stop. I feel so light headed. I can't breathe. I physically can't breathe.

Kian.

Who the hell is knocking at our door right now? It's like 2am. "Are you Kian Lawley or Jc Caylen?" a police officer asked. Oh shit. "I'm Kian.." I spoke. "Your friend was held at gunpoint earlier tonight by her father. After she fell unconscious from hyperventilation, her brother made sure we took her to this address. Do you know Emma Pottorff?" My heart sunk to the floor, and I don't know what to say. "Yes. Yes! She's my a.. She's my girlfriend." I said. Another man came walking up our driveway with Emma in his arms. "Thank you. Thank you so so much for keeping her safe. Thank you. I couldn't thank you enough. I-I don't know what to do.. Can I pay you? I don't know. Please, tell me, anything I can do to repay you. Anything." I spoke after holding her lifeless body in my arms. "Just make sure she's safe here. Take care of her for us, and bring her down to the station tomorrow for questioning. Thank you for your time." And with that the two men got back in their car and drove away.

I carried Emma up the stairs and lair her down in her bed. Then I pulled the covers over her lifeless body before kissing her forehead and running back downstairs to tell Jc. "Jc! Wake up! Emma's home! She's okay!" I yelled, shaking him. "What? Where is she? Am I dreaming?" he asked. "Look at me. Jc, look at me!" I said. "What Kian? What?" he said, wiping his eyes and sitting up. "Something happened. Her dad tried to shoot her. Sh-"
"What? Is she okay?" Jc yelled. "If you'd let me finish, you'd know!"
"Okay okay go on."
"Apparently she passed out from hyperventilating again, then Sam told the officers to take her here. She's in her room now, and.. and I can't wait to talk to her! She's finally home Jc! I can finally apologize!" I yelled. "Kian.. Kian I'm happy she's okay and that she's home, but I don't know if you're the one who should be there when she wakes up. Ya know? I mean she's still a little scared of you. I don't think after being held at gunpoint she'll want to see her rapist first." His words cut like knives, but he's right. "Oh.. Yeah.. You're right. I'll just.. I'll stay in my room. Will you.. Will you um stay in there with her? Just to a.. Just to make sure she's okay?" I spoke softly. "Yeah. Yeah man. I can do that." Jc said, getting out of bed. As we walked upstairs together, we stayed silent. I just don't want to talk right now. He's right. "Ki, she'll be okay. Why don't you just get some sleep," Jc said at her doorframe.