afraid of kian lawley

18

After Kian and I got home, Jc showed us an article about us at lunch. This time it was a bit more accurate considering the fact that they believe I'm with Kian, but now they're saying I'm cheating on him with Jc.
Jc, Kian, and I are all hanging out in the living room with nothing to do. Kian and I are cuddling and Jc's chilling with wishbone. We're all on our phones and I don't think we've spoken for at least 20 minutes.
Kian's phone rang and I jumped at the silence ending. "Give the fucking phone to Emma." I heard a familiar voice in his phone. Kian handed me his phone and Sammy flashed across the screen. "Which one are you fucking? Kian or Jc? Is it both? Are you that much of a slut that you can't settle with one of them? God, you're such a fucking whore!" Sam yelled into the phone. Tears formed in my eyes and I couldn't speak. "Are you gonna say anything? Or are you gonna be the little bitch that you are and go cry about it?" I remained silent and frozen as I processed his words. "Fuck off Sam! She's fucking me and only me! And why do you fucking care anyway? It's obvious you don't give a shit about her!" Kian yelled into the phone after taking it away from me. I couldn't hear what Sam said after that when Kian got up and left me alone on the couch. I also left for my room and Jc called behind me, but I didn't listen.
I slammed the door behind me and flopped onto my bed before grabbing a pillow and burying my face into it. God, you're such a fucking whore! repeated in my head over and over again. I wasn't expecting to hear his voice until I saw him again in a few months. I didn't think he would know about Kian and I. I didn't expect myself to freeze up like that.
After laying here for this long, I keep on thinking about my past and something I swore I would never do again, but I need to. This is all too much. Just a few I thought to myself where even Kian wouldn't notice.

I opened my top drawer and dug through the clothes until I found it. My blade. I cried softly as it sliced the top on my fat thighs and they joined the previous ones. "Emma, you know every-" Kian spoke after walking in my room. I quickly buried the blade, pretending I didn't just cut myself. "Emma.." he whispered before sitting down beside me on the floor. "D-don't do that. Please," he spoke softly, causing me to cry more. His eyes are wide and his jaw is dropped. He doesn't know what to do. "Come on," he said, holding his hand out for me to grab. I took his offer and he lead me down the hall. After we got in the bathroom, he lifted me from the hips and set me down on the counter. We're eye to eye now, I like it better this way. "D-don't fucking do that," he choked up as he grabbed a towel. He's generally upset and I feel bad now. I didn't want him to know. "Please don't, Emma." he whispered again as he gently pressed the towel against my thigh and burring his head into my shoulder. This stings. Like last time.
He started sobbing so I wrapped my arms around his torso and pulled him closer to me. Hearing Kian cry is breaking my heart into pieces. It's honestly making me cry more and we're just an emotional mess. "I'm sorry," I breathed out with a shaky breath. He pulled away and observed my face. "You can't listen to him, Emma. Why would he care if we're fucking? I mean he doesn't give a shit about you." His voice is shaky, but he's pissed. I looked down at my legs and ignored Kian's comment. "Maybe you and I being together wasn't such a good idea.." My voice is also shaky. "No Emma, it wasn't. Just.. Come on." He helped me off the counter and took me into his room. We sat down at the computer again with me on his lap. "I'm gonna go live on a broadcast and everyone will be able to see us. We'll tell them," he said, typing on the keyboard. I nodded in agreement and waited for it to start.
"Alright guys, now that a lot of you are here.. This is Emma, Emma Pottorff, my girlfriend. She's gonna be staying with Jc and I for awhile because of some previous issues at her house. All we're doing is trying to make everything better for her, so if you guys wanna talk shit about her, then maybe you just shouldn't support me. I'm not saying you guys should love her to death, but even if you don't like her, don't say anything. She's a normal girl that's dating a normal guy. I understand you guys have been seeing those fake ass articles and I just wanted to clear things up now. Emma and I are a couple. Her and Jc are just friends. Nothing else is happening. So if you guys would like to get to know her, I set up some social media for her and everything is @emma_pottorff. I love you guys, and I'm sorry everything had to go down like this. Some shit has been happening recently and I just want to get over it." He clicked off and my phone started blowing up from across the room. "See that, there's a shit ton of people who want to follow you just because you're my girlfriend. Now just wait till people actually learn about you. I might just be a little jealous."

Kian.

She fell asleep awhile ago on my bed while we were talking. "Hey Em, I'm gonna sleep on the couch tonight. Come get me if anything happens, okay? Goodnight, love" I spoke softly. "Kian," she grabbed my hand and squeezed it tightly. "Why are you leaving me?" she asked in a sleepy voice. "You still seem a bit shaken up. I just want to give you some space." I squeezed her hand and rubbed the back of it with my thumb. "No Kian, my thighs.. they hurt." A small sob escaped her lips. "That's why I don't want you doing that, love." I whispered after sitting beside her. "I'm sorry," she sobbed. "It's okay, Emma, I was just worried. I can't risk losing you again." My eyes started to burn and I rubbed them with my empty hand. "Don't leave me," she whispered softly. Andrea used to say that when we were younger. Her parents would never let me stay over and every time I got up to go she would say that. No, I need to stop thinking about her. I'm with Emma now. She's mine.

hey guys, last night was a big mess and I was just really shaken up about everything so I thought it'd be best to wait till today to post. I'll probably do another later, and all the love to Paris and Japan. Stay safe guys.