A Crazy Thing Called Love (Harry Sytles Fanfic.)

18

"Stop looking for a reason to walk away."

Carmen

Harry seems to hold some regret about the question he just asked me, but if I'm right about that he doesn't confirm it with words. To say that I'm surprised that he would ask me that is an understatement. He knows exactly how sensitive I am about this kind of stuff, yet here he is asking how many guys I've slept with. I don't get it and frankly, it pisses me off.

"Excuse me?" I ask finally. He blinks rapidly a bunch of times and opens his mouth to speak, but I don't want to hear it. "You're an asshole, Harry."

"Carmen, I didn't mean it like that," he says, following me to my room. I just shake my head and throw my bag on the floor. "Carmen-"

"How dare you," I spit. "You're seriously asking me that? You're the one with the reputation as the campus serial dater!"

"I didn't-"

"What did Paige even say to you?" I ask.

"She..." he shakes his head and takes a deep breath. "It doesn't matter."

"Yes, it does. You've never been concerned about this before, why now? What did she say to you?" I fold my arms and wait for something, any kind of explanation for why he's suddenly acting like this. I never asked him about his past, why is he asking me about mine?

"She just said something about you sleeping with a lot of people," he says quickly. He stares at me nervously and after a minute I can't help but let out a humourless laugh.

"And you believed her."

"I'm sorry, I don't know why I even asked you that," he says. He steps towards me and I take a small step back. He looks wounded, but he tries again anyway and it takes everything in me to stay where I am. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not a slut, Harry." I stare up at him and try to hold onto my anger, because he can melt it away so easily with his green eyes and adorable smile.

"I know you're not, I know that." He sighs and runs his fingers through his messy curls, something he's probably done for a thousand times today. "But maybe it's a conversation we should have anyway."

"Well...why?" I ask, folding my arms. It's not like I have a list, but I don't exactly feel like talking about what I've done in the past. It's not messy and I'm not ashamed, I'm just a private person. That kind of thing is something I think I have a right to keep to myself, in my past.

He shrugs. "Don't couples do that?"

My heart starts pounding. Couple? Is that what we are? I hadn't thought about it and I guess that's where this was headed, but putting that kind of label on us and confirming that this is heading to some sort of relationship scares the absolute hell out of me. I've never done relationships. I don't know how this works and I honestly didn't think I'd be figuring it out any time soon..

"I wouldn't know," I whisper. He sighs and steps closer to me again, gaging my response before putting his arms around me, pulling my head against his shoulder. I'm not sure how to react right now or what to be focusing on. Do I try to pick a fight about what he asked me, or do I try to get out of this conversation? Or maybe I should be telling him that it's too soon to be doing whatever it is he thinks couples do. I thought we were going slow. What happened to that?

"Forget it," he says. "I shouldn't have said anything. Paige was trying to screw with me and I let her. I'm sorry, Carmen."

I nod and try to stop the thoughts buzzing through my head as a result of this conversation, but it doesn't work. There are so many things we don't know about each other, and what happens when certain things come out? It's not like I have any creepy skeletons hidden in my closet, but what if he does? What if I open up to him and put myself out there only to get hurt and pushed away by whatever is in Harry's past? What if I can't open up to him and I'm the one that ends up hurting him with my inability to let someone into my life? I couldn't live with that any more than I could live with the heartbreak I know he's capable of.