A Crazy Thing Called Love (Harry Sytles Fanfic.)

38

"I can't change overnight."

Carmen

There hasn't been one minute of sleep for me, not one single break from the guilt I feel from ditching Harry. I know he wanted to talk and that it needs to happen, but for some reason I just couldn't make myself go there. I stood outside his house for about a half hour before I finally started walking back to my house. He has more reason to be upset than I do and that terrifies me; he could easily break up with me if he wanted to.

3:27 a.m.

The blinding red of my alarm clock makes my eyes burn; Harry is probably asleep by now, long given up on waiting for me. I wanted to go, I really did. Harry just scares the hell out of me. I don't know how to do this. He's so sure of himself and his feelings and I'm just...not. I have no idea how to even begin having these kinds of conversations with Harry. When the times comes to actually do it I just can't.

I hold into a sitting position with there's a loud pounding coming from the front of the house. My blankets are flung from my body, Harry's sweater pulled over my head while I run to the door. I'm already awake; no need to wake any of the other girls.

"Carmen!"

The pounding continues as a deep voice yells through the door. I'm running to the door before the person can wake the whole block, and when I swing it open Harry's hand almost hits my face.

"Harry?" He sways to the side and runs his long fingers through his hair. "What the hell?"

"Carmen," he drawls, gesturing towards me. "There you are."

"Yeah...what are you doing?"

Harry's eyes are half-closed and the laziest smile I've ever seen crosses his features. He reaches out to lean against the doorframe but only grazes it with his fingers, slipping forward and falling into me.

"Woah," he laughs, my hands around his back and my body almost crumpling with his weight. He slowly stands back up, his large hands resting on my shoulders. "The door is slippery."

"Are you drunk?" I ask in a high pitch voice. His hair falls in his eyes again, despite him constantly pushing it back. He shrugs and puts his hands out to either side of his body.

"Who knows?" He points to me. "Are you?"

"No, but you definitely are" He laughs and wraps his arms around my neck, his weight leaning into me again. "What are you doing here?"

"You blew me off," he says against my hair. My hands run up and down his back in a weak attempt at comfort, mostly focused on not toppling over. "I thought you'd come. I really did. Really, really, really thought."

"Okay." He keeps his arms around me as I drag him inside, shutting and locking the door. "Come on."

"Oh, now you want to talk?" he asks. He hands his head in front of my face so it's sideways but staring right at me. "Why now? Huh? Why, Carmen?"

"Harry, quit it."

"I want to...you have to know me. Tell me. Tell me why you never wanna talk t'me."

"Shh. You're going to wake up my roommates."

"Maybe they'll tell me!"

"Shh!"

He giggles and sits on my bed, bouncing up and down a few times on the mattress. His hair is so unruly and wild, his eyes hooded and bloodshot with dark circles underneath. His black jeans have a spot on them, probably from spilling whatever he drank tonight. He's only wearing a t-shirt despite how cold it is outside. Harry looks around and then his eyes land on me, his smile lighting up at first and then transforming to a pout. He folds his arms over his chest and pouts, like the most adorable child on the planet.