A Crazy Thing Called Love (Harry Sytles Fanfic.)

66

"You're what's best for me."

Carmen

If the situation was a little different the expression on Harry's face might have actually been funny. But the situation isn't different and I'm completely terrified. It took me a full twenty-four hours to convince my father that I needed to come here to see Harry. He wasn't all that thrilled, but he finally agreed. The whole going on my own part didn't work out so well, though, so he's back at the hotel. He almost came here with me but I didn't let that happen. I thought this moment should be parentless.

"Why...what are you doing here?" Harry asks, his hand still on the door. "This is...you're in England."

"Yeah," I breathe. Why can't I say words?

"Who is it?" someone asks in the house. I assume it's Gemma, but then someone that isn't Harry's sister rounds the corner. Harry doesn't even look at her, his green eyes focused on me.

"Give me a minute, Steph," he says quietly.

"Who's this?" she asks, peeking at me over his shoulder.

"Steph. I need a minute."

"You are so damn grumpy today!" She turns and walks off to the back of the house.

"She's not-"

"I don't care," I tell him, interrupting whatever explanation I was about to get. He stares intently at me, waiting for my own explanation that I seem to have forgotten.

"Carmen, what are you doing here?" Harry asks, I'm not sure if he's about to cry or pass out, but it could be either at this point. I feel the same. "Do you want to come in? You look freezing."

"No, I just..." I shake my head and my wet hair moves around a little. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize." His eyes grow sympathetic.

"I've been rehearsing what to say to you in my head for the last two days and now I can't remember any of it," I tell him quietly, trying my best not to cry. "I'm sorry to just show up like this. I wanted to talk to you after I saw you at the party, but you were already gone and I-"

"You what?" he asks, his eyes wide.

"I miss you," I whimper, my shoulders slumping. "I'm so tired of missing you, Harry. I want to be mad at you and hate you for what you did but I can't. I don't want to be that girl that lets someone treat her like shit, but I can't convince myself that you're a bad person because I know that you aren't. And if-"

"Carmen-"

"Please let me finish." He sighs and nods his head. "What you did was wrong and you hurt me. But I refuse to spend the rest of my life regretting being too stubborn to let you back into my life. Because I'm so in love with you that it doesn't make sense and at this point I don't see any way of getting over it. I'm too sad without you and I just..."

"You just what?" he asks quietly, his eyes searching mine.

"I know I pushed you away and I hurt you after you hurt me. I didn't know how to handle it and I thought I was doing the right thing for myself by keeping you away. I thought I knew what was best for both of us, but I didn't." I step a little closer and his breath catches, watching me with an intense stare.

"You didn't," he repeats, sort of asking. I know this is a longwinded way of explaining myself and he's clearly waiting for me to say it.

"You're what's best for me," I tell him. "I love you, Harry. And I might be too late to be able to take any of it back, but-"