I went home with my mind clouded with random thoughts. Im having a charity party tomorrow and thanksgiving party in Saint Peter Church around 11 AM. I called Judith, my helper, to ask if everything is ready for tomorrow and said it was all done and good. I just have to pick up some stuffs and head to the church.
I got home and opened the big box full of toys and paper bags. I held the stapler and sat on the floor as i scatter all around me the stuffs. Julie, it's time to pack!
"What are you doing?" came a voice that i was least expecting.
"Packing. Wrapping. Cant you see? Are you blind?" and then i rolled my eyes on him.
"Para saan toh?" He asked and sat down as he put on a toy and a mini bear plus goodies inside the paper bag and handed it over to me.
"None of your business and thank you. But you dont need to help. I can handle this," i smiled and staple the paper bag, closing it.
"You cant do this all by yourself. Accept the help and just say thank you," he winked at me and my anger kind of like rise to my head and spread all over my body.
"Dont winked at me!" i warned him.
"That big of a deal huh?" he teased and i sighed. I cant be mad right now. I have to pack these two hundred pieces thing and ill be up all night.
We were quiet packing and my eyes were starting to fall. He caught glance at me and i saw him smiled. Problema neto?
"Go to sleep. I'll finish this," he offered but i shook my head and continued packing.
"Hindi na. Ikaw na lang matulog. Kaya ko toh!" i insisted and i heard him laugh.
"Anong kaya pa eh antok na antok ka na?" He looked at me with a worried eyes. This guy is weird. He's too boastful this morning and now he's somehow a little caring.
I dont know how long i was staring at him when he ask me to stand and get a blanket before we headed outside.
Its surprising to see a bonfire with logs around it.
"You made it?" i happily asked and he nodded.
"Hmm hmm. Sit down there. And wait for me. I'll take my coat and i'll make us coffee." He smiled ear to ear and hurriedly went back inside.
I look around as i wrap my body with the blanket. It's too freaking cold but the fire starting to keep me warm enough.
The crickets were everywhere and i listen to them for awhile. Its too refreshing in mind that after a long day of thinking random stuffs, there will always be things around you that can help you relax a bit.
"Here you go. I added more creamer for you since i figured out that you love them," he smiled again. He went to sit on the log opposite me so he was facing me. His smile is getting bigger and im getting used to it and im starting to like it.
Wait. What was i thinking?
Our eyes met for awhile and then i realized that it fell onto a staring battle which i refused to continue. I look away as i sip my coffee.
The dead silence fell and i can see in my peripheral vision how he intently stare at me.
Without hesitation, i met his gaze.
"What are you thinking?" He suddenly asked.
I shook my head but he waited and his right brow went up as if telling me that he dont believe what i just said.
I sighed and look at him in a serious one.
"Why are you running away?"
For a moment, he was silent. Probably collecting and arranging his thought for a minute before he speaks up his mind.
I heard him sigh and began talking.
"I just wanted to breathe. You probably wont understand my world, Julie. But it's too. Fucking. Hard. To be in it, " he emphasized every word. I nodded.
"I cant live in that world. Their world. People are fake. They believe in cheap words. My family controls me. They never take a moment to listen to me. It's so hard. I just want to live a normal life, you know," he gets too emotional when he point things out and somehow, i felt connected to his. The way how our world revolved seems the same and so i nodded. Not because i understand him well but because i know how it feels to be in his situation.
When my dad died, i felt like giving my life up. I cant even find a reason to live but one person keeps me going. My mom. The thought of us reuniting seems great but i dont need her anymore. She left us and chose her career. She's a well known artist blooming outside the country. I havent heard anything from her many years ago. Reason? I stop to care. Why would you care to someone who left you behind? Also, she believe in words from people who she doesnt even know.
Gossips here and there were easily believed by her. She believed that Dad were sleeping with other girls when they were still together. She would always start a fight with my father everytime the subject brought up. It was shits i know but she believes them. Causing of my dad's death, he had a heart attack when they were sorting things out about their relationship. And that ends everything. I was too young when the picture of a perfect family broke right infront of my face. Now i hardly believe in a perfect love story. Even love itself.
I sighed and shaking my head as i let go that little thought that runs back through my mind.
"I understand you."
"I know you do. That is why you let me in that very day i knocked into your cabin," he pulled an arch on his mouth and i simply nodded.
"So you have this big world with a big name huh?" I guessed, trying to lighten up our conversation.
His eyes widens and panicked but he moved his head shaking and he looked away.
"It's not like that."
"I was just kidding." We laughed altogether and we didnt realized that the night was fading. We shared more stories and little about us letting out emotions that we had been keeping and it felt really nice to have someone listen to your words and stories and so our night contained of crunchy memories partners with a little tears and loud and happy and free laughs.
"Ha! I havent laughed like this with anyone else for a decade," that suddenly came out of my mouth.
"Really?"
I nodded.
"Then im glad to be here and share this moment with you," he smiled. That smile that makes my heart reacts.
...That makes my heart's beat so loud.
I dont like this feeling.
"Lets go inside. Goodnight, Moses."
