We finally had our dinner and i was really full. We had sea foods plus yummy table of desserts. While we were on the feast of eating, i saw other guys outside preparing and placing the logs altogether. After awhile, they lit a fire and there goes a pretty bonfire by the beach. I stood up and run towards it as i happily watch the fire burning in the dark.
Wooooooow.
I sat down and warm my cold hands and it feels really good. The last time i had this moment was with Moe when we were.........
Oh.
My smile faded as memories started to flash but i was able to washed it all away in my mind.
I sighed and went back inside the rest house.
"We were about to follow you there," Kev spoke as he stood up.
I smiled a little and shook my head as i slowly walk towards the stairs.
"Hey, where you goin?" Kay asked in a full wonder.
"Magpapahinga lang ako saglet," i told them.
"Alright. But be sure to come back down for our bonfire jam. It'll be fun," and there goes Kev with his cute smile. I nodded and step one as i glanced at Moe who was staring blankly outside.
I've always wanted to hug him. And kiss him. And cuddle with him just like what we used to do. But things are strange and way different now. Those moment that i wanna do was only gonna happen through my imagination.
I lay down the bed and wrap my body through the comforter as my eyes began to water. I wanna scream right infront of his face how much i missed him but heck i couldnt do.
Julie, you can do this.
You are fine without him.
A sudden knock came to interrupt my crying and i had to wipe my tears away immediately.
"Okay ka lang ba?" It was Kaylah.
"Kay, hi. Oo naman. Start na ba bonfire jam?" I cleared my throat and looked at her.
"Yeah. Tara na," she held my hand and carefully pulled me up to my feet.
We walked outside hand and hand and settled down when we get there. Kev's cousins even Moe started singing random songs. Kay and Kev started singing along too and they looked really happy.
"Hold on, im gonna go get my camera," i said happily and run back to the house then went back out. I began taking videos of them as they were having fun jamming, singing their hearts out.
"This is so much fun! Can we come back here again next year, Kuya Kev?" Amilia asked and Kev nodded happily. It's gonna be a long journey for all of us and i think im getting ready for it.
"Ate Julie, duet din po kayo ni Kuya Moe. Kanina pa po kayo kuha ng kuha jan ng litrato," Alright. This fifteen year old Robert voiced out something i fear to hear.
"Ha? Hindi... Wala kasi ako alam na uso na kanta ngayon," i was trying to get out from the hole here. Ugh.
Moses was expressionless for awhile and then smiled a little and started plucking his guitar.
"I want you to stay, never go away from me. Stay forever."
Fuck.
His voice.
It's too damn beautiful.
I swallowed a lamp on my throat as i try to panic find my voice.
"But now, now that you're gone all i can do is pray for you to be here beside me again."
Kaylah took the camera away from me.
"Why did you have to leave me?
And you said that love would conquer all."
I looked into his deep eyes and all it has there was pure longing. Every words he sing cuts me deeper but im loving the pain. It only means that the feelings i have for him was getting stronger and i am loving it. Even if it has to be remain unsaid.
"Why did you have to leave me when you say that dreaming was as good as reality."
He looked at me in such a cold but very
sweet stare. If you could imagine him that way, you'll get chills all over your body just as i was having right now. I know that he's keeping it cool but it's very visible in his eyes how it hurt him.
..and then it was my time to join.
"And now i must move on
Trying to forget all the memories of you and me..
But i cant let go of your love that has taught me to hold on.... "
And together, we painfully sing the chorus over and over again that almost brought me to tears.
I want you to stay,
Never go away from me.
Stay forever.
But now, now that you're gone all i can do is pray for you to be here beside me again..
We hear a loud cheer once we ended the song beautifully. He didnt looked away for the first ten seconds as i was holding back my tears. My heart was racing and i couldnt believe what we just did. It's just mere singing but i felt the connection and a thousand volts runs all over my body.
I was the one who cut the staring battle for i know that i had to look away then. I just dont want him to feel something from me anymore and excused myself for awhile.
I head straight to the kitchen and almost finished the gallon of water. I can hear their laughter from the outside and i envy how crunchy their laughs were. I wish i could express myself freely too. Shaking my head, i went back to them and they were talking about something serious.
"How do you court a girl, Kuya Elmo? I mean, there's this girl that im attracted to and i wanna... Yknow, guy thing, court and whatsoever," Robert giggled kilig as he blushed and that made Moe laughed.
"Rob, i dont even know. Everyone got our own style, yknow. But you know what i did? I just showed her what i normally do. Just normal stuffs until i felt the connection. It's too complicated though. I just realized that doing a bunch of things with her made me slowly fallen inlove with her," his sad smile was all on his face as he looked at Rob and i was here sitting across him, frozen.
"Give her notes. Thank you's. Make her feel that she's special tyou. That she's the most beautiful girl that you've ever seen. That you are completely in love with her." And right after he said that, his eyes glued to mine and i suddenly gulp as guilt was swallowing me.
"So when are we meeting her?"
"I can never introduce you guys to her as mine." He answered quietly.
"Huh?"
"She dont feel the same way. It's a one sided sad love story," and then he painfully giggled and the night feels too lonely for me.
..and i know for him as well.
