Kuya Mario was kind enough to drive me home and im thankful he didn't get pissed with my direction. I honestly didnt realized that i forgot where i live. I think my mind was being clouded by the thought of the guy i saw an hour ago.
"Good night, Miss Julie," he even told me and i wave him goodbye after i say,
"Good night, Kuya. Mag iingat po kayo"
And then the road was clear again.
As i take steps to our front door, his face flashed on my mind and my tears began falling again. Every step i make was like a stab on my chest.
He became so limited, quiet, different, strange and..... Distant.
Very distant.
And this is all my fault; i am taking all the blame.
I made him believed that i dont feel anything for him. I made him believed that what we had was a one sided love story when the truth was way different than what he thinks right now. I made him believe that my feelings never grew and that he was nothing to me.
Am i that terrible person now?
I couldn't help but cry and that cry turned into sob. Everything got blur and right before i could fall,
A soft arms caught me and wrapped around me.
"Julie," she held my hair and hugged me tight.
"Kaylah. Nakita ko siya. Pinuntahan siya ng puso ko," i sobbed.
"Galit siya akin. Lumayo yung loob niya sa akin. Ramdam ko. Ang lakas," and my hands snake around her shoulders as we both support each other. She's the only one i have right now. And she is the only one who can understand me.
"Kaylah, ang sakit. Ang sakit sakit. Para akong sinasaksak paulit ulit sa puso," i cried it all out and Kay listened to me without letting me go. And without even my notice, i fell asleep while crying. While crying my heart out.
Pain slaps me everywhere and so is the guilt. I couldnt fix everything but i knew somehow i'll find a way. I may have point one chance to have this saved, i'll hold on to that and try every step i know to clear this one out.
• • •
It was a whole day of nothingness and spacing out for me and i am making Kaylah so worried now.
"Kevin invited us for dinner. He said he havent seen you for awhile. He wanted to see you but it's okay if you decline his invite tonight," I heard Kay then came near me and sat on my bed as she stared at me.
"You coming?" She smiled and i nodded. I havent really seen him for a long time and there's a lot of catching up to do.
"Will you still be coming if i tell you the whole bunch will be there? The best friend too," she let me know.
"I'll be fine," I lied.
"I know. We have four hours to prepare. Do you need to shop for your get up?" She asked and i laughed.
"Dont worry. I've pretty got a lot of tee choices in my closet. That wont be a problem," i told her and all she had on face was a one pissed look.
"Im not letting you wear shirt tonight," she rolled her eyes on me. Of course she wont. But i dont feel like dressing up really tonight.
"Kay, i'll be fine. Of course i wont let myself lookin like a trash in a plain tee," I insisted and she surrendered with a sigh.
I had hours more to play with Mielle before showering up and head to that dinner with Kevin.
I had a black v-neck shirt, a ripped jeans and a Louboutin heels to pair it up, dried and curled my hair then tie it in a messy bun, put on lip gloss and im good to go.
"Juls, try my eos lip...." Kay rushed in and when she saw me, she suddenly stopped and looked at me from freaking head, slowly down to toe.
"Now Kaylah, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
Her jaw fell and her mouth was open as she stared at me.
"Kaylah!" I nearly shouted and then she's back to her senses.
"Teh. Ang ganda mo!" she blurted out of the blue and that made me laugh so hard.
"But there were tons of but from you earlier when i told you im only wearing these," i laughed again but she was then shaking her head.
"You look absolutely stunning with everything," she giggled and pushed me out of the room as we went to the parking and drove away.
"Will it be okay to drive yourself after dinner? Kev will drive me back if you dont...."
"Kay, of course," I chuckled. I was about to ask her something when her phone rung and it was Kev.
"Hi hon. Yes, we're on our way now. Really? Okay. We'll probably there in ten minutes, no worries. Bye," that's what i sequentially heard that she answered before ending the call.
"Are we late?" I asked worriedly.
"Oo daw. Baliw yun. Sabi eight eh. Anong oras na ba?"
"Ammm. Eight thirty five."
Eight thirty five.
"Ambilis ng oras," she murmured and accelerated and soon, we were on the parking of the said restau we'll be having dinner.
I was too calm and relaxed inside the car, but when Kaylah and I entered the room, my heart suddenly beats that loud. Weird.
"Hey hon," then i heard Kev's husky voice and gave Kaylah a quick kiss.
"Julie!" He almost jumped out of happiness when he saw me and i giggled as i threw my arms around him.
"I missed you!"
I heard Kaylah laughing in front of us.
"I miss you too! Sorry i have been very busy last year and this year, i wasnt able to visit you back in Paris," i apologized when we let go.
"Hey that's okay. I saw Mielle and she's way too adorable," he whispered as we looked at each other. I shared a smile and nodded then he invited me to sit down beside Kaylah.
Of course Kev knew about Mielle. But he know nothing about me and Moe. I once told Kaylah to be very careful about Mielle and I because we all know Kevin and Moe are the best of friends.
"You okay?" Kay asked worriedly and i nodded.
And when i looked in front of me, Moe was there and his eyes were stuck on me.
Fuck.
