Let's Get Physical.

Deep Feelings And Past Regrets.

-3 Days Later-

Taraji POV

I woke up not as refreshed and happy as usual. I wasn't going to the gym because of what happened 3 days ago with me and terrence. I just felt that it was better to distance myself for a little while...i might even cancel my session at the gym completely just because i don't want to deal with thism I've been hurt so many timed that i don't know what love feels like...not anymore. I walked out of the house after showering and eating to go to the gym and cancel going there. I just felt that doing this was best. Now me and terrences friendship is comepletely destroyed because of what happened...and it could happen again and i don't want it too. It's like....i didn't hate that it was about to happen...but i was just worried for myself. All the past memories of bad relationships started coming back and i just couldn't go through with it. I went to the gym and walked in cautiously. I went up to the front desk and talked to bella. "Um..hi bella.." i said to her. "Oh hey taraji, where's your workout outfit?" she asked me. I sighed. "I um...i decided to cancel my...session completely.." i told her. "Why?" she asked me. "Because...well It's just a long story.." i told her. She shook her head and shrugged. "Well...I'm going to miss you.." she said as she smiled. "I'm going to miss you too...i may still be coming up here to see my friend if she doesn't cancel once she finds out that i did.." i told her. She nodded and grinned. "Well...let me go and cancel you from the roster ok?" she told me and i nodded. She walked off and i sat there messing with my fingers for awhile waiting for her. I saw someone come out of a room with zuri and once i realized it was terrence my blood ran cold. I tried to pretend like i didn't see him and got on my phone instead. I saw him stop in his tracks and stare at me. "Oh no please don't walk over here.." i said under my breath as he waved zuri goodbye and started walking over to where i was. I looked up at him and walked away. He grabbed my arm and turned me around quickly. "So what are you ignoring me now?" he asked me seriously. I didn't respond and just sighed. "I've been constantly texting and calling you- "yeah i know..that's why i turned my phone off.." i told him shaking my head. He looked a bit saddened and loomed at me. "Why are you being like this with me? I've been constantly apologizing...what else do you want? What was about to happen wasn't even about to happen..." he told me And i shook my head. "What was about to happen?" i asked seriously. "Well...you thought i was anout go kiss you...but i wasn't.." he told me. "Don't lie terrence juse be a man...you might as well just tell me..." i told him. He sighed and i rolled my eyes. "Maybe i was or maybe i wasn't. Look. Neither one of us fall in love easily and it was just a mistake...what are you even doing up here?" i asked him. "Nothing." i told him. "C'mon man.." he said shaking his head. "I'm canceling my whole plan up here...I'll go to a different gym.." i tips him and he froze. "What?! Why would you do that?" he asked me. "Because terrence...everything between us is completely messed up now. We were friends terrence and should've remainded friends because now the whole situation is awkward and uncomfortable.." i told him. "But-"trust me terrence the time we spent together was so fun and amazing..but it just seems to be wrong now.." i told him. "Well since you'll never spark to me again can we at least have one more date together? One?" he asked me. I thought for a second. "Terrence...-"just one more..please? After that i promise i won't mess with you anymore...i won't call you or text you or see you...as heartbreaking that is for me...i won't.." he told me and i sighed. "Where?" i asked him and he cheered and grabbed me by my waist. He looked down and quickly removed his arms. "Sorry..sorry.." he said and i nodded. "This new fancy restaurant...and if it makes you more comfortable natasha and zuri could tag along too..." he told me. I raised an eyebrow and sighed. "Fine..when?" i asked him. "Tonight at 7:30..." he told me smiling and i couldn't help but look at it. "Will you please go?" he asked me. "Sure." i told him. He smiled and leaned in to give me a hug but backed away. "Oh..right..we're not friends anymore.." he said looking down at the ground. I did the same and took a deep breath. "Ok..i guess I'll see you at 7...i told him walking back up to the front desk. Bella let me know that i was canceled and i nodded. Terrence looked sad behind me and i felt sad a little bit too. "Um...well good luck with your new partner..." i told him. "I don't really want a new partner.." he told me. "Why?" i asked him. "Well because i liked having you as my partner of course.." he said shaking his head. I smiled a little and made it go away. "Well..i guess i gotta go get ready for tonight..." i told him. "Oh..yeah.." he said. "By the way..since I'm not hers working out..then why are you here?" i asked him. "I told you that working out is a stress reliever for me..." he told me. "Oh...yeah...right..What's making you stressed?" i asked him. He turned to stare at me with those intriguing brown and green eyes. "I see.." i said nodding. "Well...goodbye.." i told him as i header for the door. He grabbed my arms turning me back around. "It's "see you later.." not goodbye.." he told me. Although after tonight it will be goodbye. I nodded and walked out. I took a deep breath and walked home waiting for natasha to get out of the gym..i figured we could go to dinner together or something and just have girl time...i really need that right about now. When I got home I slumped down on the bed and just let out a loud breath. I took a well needed nap and when i woke up i didn't feel any better. I called up natasha and she agreed to going to dinner with me. Once she came over she looked at me funny. "What?" i asked her. "Why do you look so damn sad?" she asked me. "I just really need some time with my bestfriend girl...i just need a break...terrence i guess tried to kiss me..and it happened so fast so i wasn't sure if he was or wasn't but i moved away and decided that we should stop talking." i told her and she grimaced. "All because you didn't want to kiss him you end the whole damn friendship and make him feel like shit?" she asked me. "It's not like that...our friendship was so close and we're both so emotionally destroyed that if we continued this friendship trying to ignore what happened then it'll become much worse..." i told her. She shook her head as i finished the last touches on my hair. "Trust me..it was alot of fun being with him...he made me feel very happy..but...i just don't know what i want anymore.." i told her. "And plus he asked me out to dinner one last time before he promised to leave me alone for good...it's at 7.." i told her. "Wow...your ass is really sinister..." she told me. "How?" i asked her. "Because...this man waited all this damn time just to lean in a couple centimeters...if he would've tried to do it once you met him you would've complained and now that he waited months and months to built up enough courage you cut him off completely?" how does that even sound man?" she asked me. I thoughts for a second. She was a bit right but i didn't want to admit it. "Well would you continue to be friends with someone who you had a close friendship with but it becane awkward one they wanted to be more than just friends?" i asked her. "There's this thing called distancing yourself. You don't have to stop talking to the damn man completely! He waited months to make the smallest move on you! You were probably the woman of his dreams!" she said sighing. "Well...i never said i wanted to be." i told her. "But That's what your mind says...but what does your heart say?..." she asked me. "I don't know.." i told her. "So because you don't know if you're in love with him or not you decide to make the situation worse? That man's probably heart broken!" she told me. "He didn't seem heart broken when i spoke to him this morning.." i told her. "Also i cancelled my package at the gym..I'll go to a different one.." i told her and her eyes widened. "Wait? You canceled your package at the gym because you felt awkward being around terrence?!" she asked me. A notification from instagram went off and my phone screen turned on. Natahsa looked at it and gasped. "24 missed calls! 45 text messages?! And they're all from terrence! C'mon man you've been ignoring his calls too?! It's not like he tried to be sexual! It's not like he took you for a whore! This man took you shopping, nearly breaks down every time he finds out that you're mad at him and tries his best to make you happy again? Who takes you out to nice places and makes sure that you have a good time? Who always tries to make you smile and laugh and is always complimenting you? And this is what you do?!" she asked me. "Why the hell are you mad anyways?!" i asked her. "Because taraji it's clear that there's something about this man that's not like any other men you've been with! This man buys you roses and stayed at home with you while your ass was as sick as a damn dog! He layed his ass in that damn bed with you and didn't give a fuck about if he got sick. For you." she told me. I sighed as i just straightened another strand of my hair. "I just don't get you...you just missed a damn opportunity of a life time. You changed this damn man...he was so damn cold and mean to you...and YOU made him change!" she shouted shaking her head. "Natasha whatever man shut up, i know what the hell I'm doing!" i told her. "No obviously you don't when you can't even see when the man you've been waiting generations for is right in your damn face everyday..." she told me and i rolled my eyes. "What is it because your scared to lose your vi- "no! That's not why! So stop assuming shit you don't know!" i shouted slamming the bathroom door. I sighed and felt my eyes sting a bit. After about 2 minutes natasha came knocking on the door. "T?...come on...I'm sorry to come at you like that but..sometimes i notice things before you do...you know this is childish..we shouldn't be fighting about this T..." she told me. She was right. She's my best friend and i wasn't going to waste my time arguing over this. I opened the door and we hugged eachother tightly. "I love you bestfriend..but i just want the best for you...he's a really great guy...and i know your afraid to lose it...i know..but don't let that keep you from love." she told me. "But...it's not just that...i really don't want to be hurt anymore...the other guys hurt me way before it came down to the sex part...and i sat there and dealt with it and once it came to sex...they tried to take advantage of me even when they knew about me never doing it before..all the thugs wanted me Because they thought i was a whore..they thought i liked to be on the streets selling my ass...most of them tried to rape me but my uncle always protected me..those previous boyfriends were nothing but cruel gangsters that didn't care about me or my feelings...that called me ugly but said they just wanted to fuck...i was done with trying to find love after that...and i was done with trusting men and thinking that any others would treat me better now. I still am done.." i told her. She sighed and hugged me. "I'm afraid to lose it..and i feel as if as soon as it's taken that's going to be it...no waking up to them next to me the next morning.." i told her and she understood. "So...what do you think would happen if terrence were to find out?" she asked me as we walked out of the front door. "I don't know..but It's not his buisness" i told her and she shrugged. "He takes such good care of you...i think that if he were do find out he would want to take it because he wants you to be his..not because he just wants to fuck...i think he would rather take it with love making.." she said smiling at me. "Well i don't know that for sure so.." i said as we started driving. I know but he's a really good person and it seems like he really likes you... he doesn't let anybody touch you, he beat Nick up to death almost too. This man really cares about you and I don't think he's playing around.." she told me and i smiled. "Well...I'm certainly not making a move first.." i joked. And we laughed as we turned a corner. "So..you think you're in love with him?" she asked me. "I'm...not sure yet.." i told her looking into my lap. "I feel like you're going to find out REALLY soon..." she said as we approached the restaurant. We went in and started eating. This is what i needed...

When we were done eating it was 5:30. "So..you gonna go to the date?" natasha asked me and i nodded. "I think i should talk to him..." i told her and she nodded. "You better dress nice...it's the last time you're ever going to speak to eachother.." said natasha and i sighed. "Well i guess i should start getting read- "aaand he's calling me.." i said shaking my head. "Answer it!" she told me and i rolled my eyes and answered.

Tj- um..hello?

T- hey...i just wanted to talk...i guess

Tj- oh is there something you wanted to tell me?

T- no...i just...miss hearing your voice and i really don't want you hating me because of what happened..

Tj- i....i don't hate you terrence

T- it's ok...you don't have to lie to make me feel better..

Tj- terrence i really don't hate you. I just....thought that it was for the best

T- i see..well i guess I'll see you later

Tj- ok

He hung up the phone and i sighed. "I gotta get ready quick" i told her as we went inside of the house. I hope things turn out ok on this date...

TBC...