Blue Eyes

The Mythical Road Trip Continues : An Argument

Link POV

Day three of the Mythical Road trip has begun. We started off the day by crossing the Oklahoma state border. We've been getting really good at parking on the shoulder, dancing across the state lines and looking like total idiots. Our next stop was in Miami, Oklahoma. We met a whole lot more mythical beasts.

One couple had a custom Rhett and Link t-shirt that they made for the mythical road trip. It was amazing. "I don't remember selling this one" Rhett said jokingly. Another couple came with their daughter and jokingly offered her as something to take with us. Rhett asked the man "How do you think she'll do in the back of a U-Haul?" The man answered with "Ummmm.... not too bad" while looking at his daughter in his arms.

One man gave me a new wooden recorder. I played a little bit for him while awkwardly staring him in the eyes. He chuckled and looked away. It was a little awkward.

Some mythical beasts traveled a long ways to get here and meet us. One family even crossed the country in a school bus. It was their home. After the mythical meet up we got a tour of the bus. It was amazing. After the tour we sign the bus, and then hit the road, bound for Texas.

We stopped multiple times to ask people to say the pledge of allegiance. Eventually we cross the Texas border. Then we head to the next mythical meetup. This would be number six.

One of our first items that we received at this mythical meetup was a truck paper. Not surprising considering we're at a truck stop. We also got an armadillo piggy bank and Buddy Holly glasses. I tried to get the little girl who gave them to me to put them on. I said please like 3 times but she wouldn't budge. We got an antler that Rhett had to bite to ensure that it was authentic and not a fake. Surprised he said "It is real." Oh yeah and Rhett made a baby named Luke cry. Poor little guy.

Rhett POV

Yeah. Not one of my best moments. As a way to finish up the mythical meetup we had everybody sing America the Beautiful together. Link said "it was a patriotic ending to an all American day." I couldn't agree more.

On the drive through Texas, Link starts eating a bag of trail mix that we brought. He doesn't eat it normally like anyone else would. He starts picking different pieces and eating them individually. I have to ask him about it.

"Are you picking specific pieces out of there?"

"Yeah. I don't like m&m's."

"Y-you can't do that. That's a violation of the trail mix code. My momma mixed that trail mix together with intent for you to-"

"There- there's no code written anywhere on this bag of trail mix."

"It-it's an unwritten code. When you eat trail mix, you're supposed to just take a handful. What you get is what you eat."

"Did she tell you this? Did she say this to you as she was making it?"

"When you go through and you pick through the trail mix and you get just what you want, you throw off the proportions for me."

"You mean like m&m's?"

"Yeah. But I don't want different proportions than my mother intended. You go through and you start taking out what you like, then when I get to it and the whole system is ruined."

"But you like m&m's right?"

"In the context of that trail mix especially."

"Good. Cause I'm-I'm giving you my share of the m&m's."

"It doesn't work like that" I say as I shake my head. "If my mother was dead she would roll over in her grave right now."

"If she heard you say that, she would roll over in her grave... If she was dead. You're talking about your momma being dead?"

"I said if she was dead. I'm- what I'm- It's a nice way of saying my mom is upset with you right now."

"But it's also kind of morbid because she's not dead. It's like the whole premise was 'I'm okay with my mom being dead' and I'm gonna use that to make a point."

"I think- alright. Okay. I think what you should do is if you're gonna just eat the parts that you like, take the m&m's out and put 'em in a cup so I can enjoy those just as m&m's."

"Well here's the other thing-"

"Don't ruin the trail mix for me."

"The way that you eat, you're 'OOH!' I'm- your hand is like a- it's like a shovel in like a quarry."

Does he really think that about the way that I eat trail mix? I can't help but smile at how stupid this argument is.

"And you know what? All the germs and junk on your hand, even on the back of your hand, are getting on all the mix that I'm about to eat."

What? What is he talking about? "I just washed my hands at the last rest stop." He's such a germaphobe.

"I reach down like one of those claws" he says as he makes a claw with his hand.

"You're deflecting now" I tell him.

"At least-"

"This conversation was about the consistency of trail mix and the proportions of it."

He laughs "So- so now you also get to decide what the conversation's about? The way I eat the trail mix is more sanitary."

I shake my head.

"So there's an advantage to the way I'm eating it. AND you get more m&m's. You like m&m's."

I shake my head again.

"You can go to the convenience store and buy nothing but m&m's."

"When shovel hand goes in to get trail mix he gets different trail mix now because you've... compromised the trail mix." At this point I give up. I throw my hands up in the air, roll my eyes and shake my head.

"You've compromised the trail mix by putting your grubby hands ALL IN the trail mix."

"They're not grubby. I just washed them." Gosh I swear this guy is such a germaphobe. "There are communities in the world where they all like... drink out of the same cup of tea. There's communities where the women make some sort of pie out of their own spit. You're just talking about dipping some hands in trail mix?" Seriously dude? Really?

"I really like these almonds. I bet you I can go through and just find those. Oh look, and cashews."

"The person who came up with the concept of trail mix is probably dead and she is rolling over in her grave right now."

"I also don't like the sunflower seeds. They're so small."

Ugh sometimes this man will drive me crazy. Anyway.... I'm giving up in this discussion. I'm getting nowhere. He's not getting it. Hopefully the next day's trip will not start with any arguments.