Blue Eyes

Bug War

Link POV

A few months have passed and Sarah is back to her usual peppy self. It's good to see that again. I'm glad she listened to me back home. Now that we've been home in LA, Rhett and I have been working on Good Mythical Morning episodes as well as music ideas. Today we're filming an episode of GMM where we have to eat bugs. I just LOVE bugs.

We get out a deck of cards and make sure that we have all of them including the jokers. We get the bags of bugs on the table and even open the scorpion.

"Oh, man. This thing is huge!"

Rhett just laughs. We then get the camera on and make sure the whole crew is ready to film the episode.

"We're gonna eat a whole lot of bugs including this scorpion" I say while holding up the scorpion that we opened up earlier.

"Yay" Rhett said not-so-enthusiastically.

We then finish the teaser and Rhett says "Good Mythical Morning!"

"Ohh thanks for joining us today! It's time to eat a lot of bugs. We are going to play Bug War."

Rhett then explains the rules. It's basically the card game War with bugs added into the mix. Each player turns over their top card. The player with the higher card wins the round. In this case we have bugs involved. The winning player gets a point and does not have to eat any bugs. However, the person with the losing card has to eat the number of bugs that is on their card. The bugs that we might have to eat include crickets, ants, katydids, squash bugs, silkworm pupae, grasshoppers, dung beetles and the scorpion.

Why did I say this was a good idea? "I hate myself!"

Each player also gets a reverse card which allows the player to make the other person eat the bugs that they were supposed to eat. There are also jokers so if one is drawn, then both players have to eat the amount of bugs on the card.

Rhett POV

For the first round, the bugs that have to be eaten are small crickets. Link dumps the bag onto a plate we have on the desk. We both flip over the top cards. Link draws a three and I draw a seven. I win that round and don't have to eat any bugs. Link on the other hand has to eat three small crickets. He doesn't look too excited about it. He takes them one by one and places them on his tongue. He looks disgusted. I don't blame him. They do smell like my kids feet. He then chews them and swallows them.

The second round results in one of us eating weaver ants. They are known to eat other bugs that they feel may threaten them. They come out of the bag in pieces. We decide that whoever loses has to eat whole ants. It's only fair. We both flip over our cards. I draw a five and Link wins the round with a seven. I have to eat five ants. I find five heads and then sprinkle ant body parts all over the heads. I then chew them, swallow them and say "mmm... it's good."

"What's it taste like?"

"Cheetos."

Link doesn't believe me but they do! They taste really good. The next round is the female katydid. Link opens the bag and dumps it onto the plate in front of him. We then draw our cards and Link draws a Jack and I draw an Ace. Aces are higher than Jacks so he has to eat ten katydids. Link coaches himself and tells himself they're just chips. They're bugs, man. They're not chips.

I am now winning 2-1. The next round results in one of us eating squash bugs. Link and I draw our cards. He gets an eight and I get a four so I have to eat four squash bugs.

"Oh you wanna crawl into my mouth AND DIE!"

"They're already dead."

"Oh."

I chew them and swallow. "They taste like squash."

Link thinks I'm kidding but they taste sweet like fruit. The next round one of us has to eat silkworm pupae. They look good so I would be glad to eat them.

Link POV

He's insane. I draw a three and he draws a joker so we both have to eat three silkworm pupae. Oh joy. They smell better than they look. I will admit that. Oh but they do NOT taste as good as they smell. There was something squishy inside. I don't even want to know what it could be. Rhett even said he had a hard time getting them down. He was twitching like crazy.

Next round we have grasshoppers. I open the bag and dump it on a plate. These are huge bugs. I get a two and Rhett draws a four so I have to eat two of them. I find two heads and then a bunch of legs. I get them all in my hand and throw my head back emptying the hand full of bug body parts into my mouth. When I start to chew them, I realize they're very crunchy, sharp, and not very tasty. I do swallow them and we move on to the next round. It's dung beetle time. I throw down a six and Rhett throws down a Jack. I lose the round but I don't want to eat the dung beetles so I throw down my reverse card and make him eat ten of them. So I line up ten of the dung beetles and he takes them and eats them. He says that elephant turds would taste better than those bugs. I'm glad I didn't eat them.

I have a feeling I may regret this decision. The last round is the scorpion round. I realized that Rhett still has his reverse card. So even if I win the round, he can still reverse it on me and make me eat the scorpion. That may not have been the smartest move I made last round. We flip our cards and what do you know? I win the round but he plays his reverse card and so I have to eat the scorpion. Yay. I don't even know how to eat it. Rhett says I should eat the claw first. Okay. I eat one claw, then the other. They are not very appetizing. I don't even think they're edible. Whatever. Then I take the whole body and place it on my tongue.

Rhett POV

It sounds so crunchy. Members of the crew are laughing at the face he's making. It definitely is an interesting face. He says it wasn't bad. I'm afraid his teeth might shatter or something. He then eats the other claw and chews it. I can't believe he's doing that. He's afraid that something might puncture his throat. I don't think it'll puncture anything. He should be fine.

"You will own the internet if you do this."

He starts to laugh. Good. Maybe I can take his mind off of the fact that he has to finish eating the scorpion. He then proceeds to eat the rest of the scorpion. While he's chewing the body of the scorpion, he makes this sound. It sounds like he's dying, even though I know he's not. He's just eating a scorpion. He was able to finish the scorpion without throwing it back up. Everyone applauded him because he finished eating the scorpion but the funny thing was that I actually won the game.

I won a tarantula. We actually get to keep him which is so cool. Link screamed when he saw it. I'm naming him Herb. Link still hasn't swallowed the rest of the scorpion. He almost vomited. However, he was able to get it down. I like the tarantula but I'm not a big fan of them. Link freaks out about it a little more and eventually gets over it. We then spin the wheel of mythicality and film Good Mythical More where the crew members eat the bugs.

Link POV

I can't believe I ate so many bugs today. I know that I am NOT going to want to eat anymore bugs any time soon.