Hacking Seoul

VOTE THIS| 39 Inside Out | EXO

Song: Save Me - B.A.P

How could he?!

My head was a complete mess. My face was hot but my limbs were so cold I almost couldn't register their existence. I didn't want to move.

How could he leave me like that?

I pulled my legs up and hugged them to my chest.

It hurts.

The hole in my heart was depleting so much blood I felt lightheaded.

I asked. I told him I wanted to have it. He knew I wanted it. I offered myself to him.

Oh my god.

I dropped my forehead onto my arms to bury myself.

Did Oh Sehun play me?

That thought almost took my world. Tears over-capacitated my eyes and I wiped them away before they could roll down my cheeks.

Don't you dare cry. Not over him.

I drew a huge breath to put my life back into my body. The icy air ate away at my skin apathetically. Yet my forehead was starting to burn my arm.

He kissed me again.

I whimpered. My whole body shook as I looked up desperately, from the bottom of the well wherein Oh Sehun left me.

The warmth of his soft lips was still on my skin. I could feel the strength in his arms on my back, the command in his hands as they touched me, his searing desire against me when he locked my body to his.

I knew I was blushing.

H-he was as gone as I was.

I squeezed my legs together.

He had to be.

I mean if I could feel him –

I bit my lip as my heart pounded and forced myself to stop my train of thought.

He was as gone as I was. Maybe even more.

So what did I do wrong?

I was suffocating in the well. I didn't know how to think anymore. Everything should be clear but nothing is. There was almost no uncertainty, for I was sure Oh Sehun was right where I wanted him when I called him "Sehun-ah." The way he touched me, how lost his eyes were. How much he loved everything I did and couldn't help doing, from the way I said his name to the way I couldn't stand. I closed my eyes weakly. He was right there with me where I needed him to be.

Why did he step away?

The adrenaline was not mixing well with the emptiness that came from Oh Sehun's rejection. I was so sure. He was the one that made it absolute. I was so sure because he made it absolutely clear that he wanted me.

Did he step back simply because I said no? Did he stop insisting to come up simply because I wouldn't ask him to?

Did he leave me because I wouldn't say what he wanted to hear?

I couldn't find an answer. I just knew everything was wrong.

Maybe he did play you.

My own condemning voice said coldly to me in my brain.

But I wasn't supposed to even be in this misery.

None of it should have even happened.

I shouldn't have seen him tonight.

The melancholic atmosphere turned vehement as the elevator shook and stopped at my floor. The mistake was I liked him too much. That was what I did wrong. I liked him way too much, much more than he liked me, evidently. And I really, really, shouldn't have.

I knew I shouldn't have.

I stood up from the ground unsteadily and slanted into the wall of the elevator.

How could I've put myself in this situation? Why do I even like Oh Sehun?!

I was so angry at myself. Upset, disappointed, not at him, but at my deserted, rejected self. I had no reason to like him. He was a lying, devious, good-for-nothing pretty boy who stood me up and led me on the whole night just so he could get his keys.

You know that's not true, a small voice protested weightlessly. Oh Sehun likes you.

"Then he should have insisted." I said out loud indignantly.

Or you could have asked him up.

I felt ashamed of my prudeness. Sick. I couldn't stand myself. Humiliation was clouding my thinking and I wanted to scream. I could not put my mind on this for even one second longer. My head was going to explode. This fiasco was becoming nuclear by the second with every effort I spent to try to understand it. Nothing made sense. I don't make sense. This world doesn't make sense.

When Oh Sehun's not by my side.

I walked out of the elevator woodenly and watched the doors close. It stayed on my floor as peacefully as the hour. How could I think he would come after me?

I turned away and reached for my keys to open the door.

And found my heart on the cold hard floor.

No.

I twisted my doorknob hopelessly. It was locked.

No no no. This can't be happening.

My body temperature must have free-fallen to match the coldness of the air in the last two seconds because I could not feel anything and I knew I was supposed to be freezing. Everything was crumbling. I could not see clear. This had to be a joke.

I looked down at my body and heard myself groan.

I didn't even have my phone.

The doors to the elevator opened and for a long second I stared into it immovably, blank.

Then I realized that I had pressed the button to get the doors open. In midst of a malfunctioning brain somehow, I had done what was needed. Whatever was operating me at this point knew that the only logical thing to do right now, was to race downstairs.

Because Oh Sehun might still be here.

And he was the only person who could save me now.

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Haha I promise this story will be one of the best love stories you will ever read. :) I love Sehun x Innie. They are turning my world upside down lol.