Fly Girl | [Novel] (Wattpad Version)

22| On To The Next Thing

August 1996 :

Ava -

I walked back and forth between my closet and my bed, packing up as much as possible; of what would be necessary for me to take anyway. The rest, I would just buy as I needed it.

From the corner of my eye, I could see Sean watching me. Every so often, his face would hold a look of sorrow, one of worry, and then one of angst. Lately, he was always so unsure of what to say to me or how to approach me. He hadn't hit me since that night in May, but I hadn't gotten over it or moved on so easily either. I kept myself busy; on the weekends we had off from touring, if I was back in Arizona, I spent as much time as possible with Deena at the apartment she now shared with her longtime boyfriend. I was glad to see her happy, living for herself for a change, and of course, she was always happy to see me. Happy to see that I was doing well, and living my dream, and happy with my life.

At least, that's what I showed her and everybody else around me. That I was happy, content, and focused on what I had to do.

Thankfully, Leann had kept her promise not to tell. But, of course, I had to make a promise of my own. And that was to see about finding some type of help, to always have some type of contact with someone I could trust if the situation occurred again. It wouldn't, I was certain, but for her to keep my secret, I had to hold up my end of the deal too.

"Will you guys be gone long this time?"

I cleared my throat, speaking low and evenly to hide the irritation in my voice. I always liked silence on my last day home, but Sean insisted that we talk. That we try to get closer to one another again. Yes, I still love him, but that didn't mean I was ready to be close and extra-loving with him. Not just yet. "I don't know. We're going overseas, starting the second leg of our tour. Three shows in one city, four in another, a week in one country, two in another." I shrugged, flipping my hair over my shoulder as I looked around the floor for the pair of Chuck Taylor's I'd just bought earlier today. "Three weeks, maybe four."

Truth was, we'd be gone for three months. Spending one in Europe, another going all over the Asian continent, and another traveling across parts of Africa and Australia. I welcomed the extended trip, but I knew Sean would find something negative in it, something negative to say. "Will you at least call me every so often, when you have time?"

"I don't know Sean."

I bent down, feeling up under the foot of our bed until I felt my fingertips touching a long cardboard box. Bending a little more, I pulled my shoes from under the bed and let out a sigh of relief, glad I hadn't lost or forgotten them like I did with a pair of heels I'd gotten myself a few weeks before. "Ava, I'm only asking because I know that this time apart could possibly hurt us even more."

"Or, it could help. I really don't know Sean."

"I want us to work things out, Ava. I'm truly sorry. I know that there's not good amount of times that I can apologize for my mistakes, but-"

"You don't have to keep apologizing. I get it; you're sorry that you hit me. You didn't mean it, I know."

"Of course I didn't. I was just stressed out, and upset about losing this second job. My pride was wounded, I let my foolish ego get the best of me and I hurt the only person that's ever cared for me. Babe, I'm so sorry." He got up and inched towards me, trying to take my hands in his but I stepped back and headed back into the closet to grab more of my things. "I know it's going to be hard for you to trust me again, and whatever you put me through to earn that trust back, I deserve it. But, please, please give us a real chance to work on things while we're apart."