Fly Girl | [Novel] (Wattpad Version)

49| Stubborn Sisters

March 2000 :

Troy -

I sat, twisting the napkin I'd been holding all morning into different shapes as I tried my best to calm my nerves. What was originally supposed to be a normal checkup turned into something that may or may not determine how I will be able to live for the rest of my life.

Alright, maybe not that dramatic, but this doctor's appointment now holds the determining factor of whether or not I'll be able to work fully again, should I chose to go back to my career, rather than just recording now to pass time. Sure, I could always sing sitting down on a stool behind a microphone, or at a piano if Marliss ever teaches me to play, but that's just not who I am. If I perform, I have to go all out; singing, dancing, walking the stage and interacting with my audience. If I choose another path, I'd have to be able to work diligently and give a hundred percent of myself to whatever I sign on for.

I sighed heavily, wishing my doctor or his nurse would hurry up and tell me what I needed to know. I'd grown to hate, with a passion, how they dragged out giving you your information, acting as if the dramatic pauses and stretching words out would make you feel even better just because they delivered the news slowly.

No. Either I'm still sick, and too sick to do more than gallivant across the world with Marliss just to sit still and watch him perform, or I can get back to doing what I love most. Just tell me without sugarcoating or making small talk in between. That was how I felt.

"Troy, please stop mumbling under your breath. You're not going to fight anyone, so stop talking noise."

I rolled my eyes. "You're not the one that's essentially waiting for them to nail the coffin shut on your livelihood."

"That's not what will happen, Baby. The worst thing might be that you need to take a couple more months off. At least you're not bedridden like right after y'all went on hiatus."

"Oh my God..." I whimpered, though I didn't mean to. "What if they put me back on bed rest permanently, and then I can't even fly anywhere to live vicariously through you? Marliss, I can't stay confined to a bed again. I just can't. I almost forgot how to walk the very first time I was put on bedrest."

"You just came off of bedrest a month ago, you did fine for that week."

I rolled my eyes. "My point is; it really could be the end for anything that I want to do."

"I doubt it."

"I haven't even gotten into doing films yet. Oh Lord, I'll never get my shot at directing. Never going to get to lead and carry my own sitcom, no national press tours."

"And here I was thinking that you were concerned that you may not be able to sing again."

I shrugged, a little mad that he wasn't as concerned as I am. "I could always do that. My point is; I have so many things that I want to accomplish now that I've had the time to sit and think about what else is out there for me." I gasped. "What if... what if I can't open my own mini-performance arts studio when I'm over the hill and washed up? Does this MS not know I was trying to move from being a baby Diana Ross to being a baby Debbie Allen?"

Marliss looked up at me. "Well, first, you sing better than Ms. Ross, though I would still marry her if you and I ever split." And he is so serious. "Second, you could do anything, Troy. So it might take a little extra time..."

"Time is not what I'm concerned with. What if... physically, I can't do anything that I want. I've already got so much going against me; black, female, and young in an industry where White dominates first, Male comes second, and Black Male with less than classic looks, style, and talent gets the scraps they leave behind. Mind you, the black female gets, literally, one percent of those scraps, if that. Unless we're blessed with enough talent for them to see the financial potential in supporting us. Now, don't get me wrong; I've been very blessed and fortunate to navigate my way through and beat some of the odds, along with my sister and the girls of course."