Fly Girl | [Novel] (Wattpad Version)

45| Freedom And Coping Vices

August 1999 :

Troy –

I sat quietly, eating a piece of the amazing German chocolate cake Torii baked just before I came over. I watched as she paced back and forth, anxiously awaiting good news.

I'd arrived, anxious to go and see The Wood, a movie she'd gotten a small part in, but of course that got bumped down my list of priorities when she told me what was holding her up as she got dressed for the afternoon.

"Oh my Gosh, Troy, what if I am?"

Biting into another piece of my cake, I shrugged and gave a supportive smile. "It's what you want, right?"

"Yes."

"Then everything will work out just fine." She nodded, and quickly began pacing again as she rubbed her hands together. "I still can't believe you and Raj are actually trying for a baby."

She looked at me for a moment and smiled, taking a deep breath before she finally sat down. We were in her bedroom, and I was sitting on this small chest she kept at the foot of her bed. Torii sat a few inches away, folding her legs as she got comfortable near the center of her bed. "Well, we got married in February, and he wanted to start a family right away. I did too, and I figured since there are no definite plans for Fly Girl, as the world is waiting for you-" I stared blankly as she said that. "I might as well give it a real try for our first while I have this break. That way, no one can question me or suggest that I do this, or do that. And, I can enjoy my time as a mother before I move on in whatever direction this career is going to take me. Ugh, I just feel like, what if I'm not a good mother?"

"Why wouldn't you be?"

"I don't know. I guess, I just think about it, overthink what could happen once a baby is here and in my life. Once their little life is in my hand; the responsibility that comes, not knowing what to do right off the bat. I just feel like I'll make one horrible mistake."

"You won't, now relax." Turning my Walkman back on, keeping the volume low as I jammed and mouthed the words to NWA's Compton's N The House Remix, I noticed as Torii got up and rushed into her bathroom. I happily bounced in my seat, doing random dances as I waited for her to return. "Getting busy; because we're cold stompin', and we're born and raised... and we're born and raised... and we're born and raised in Compton." When I finally looked up, I noticed my sister walking back in with a straight look on her face. I removed my headphones and cleared my throat, speaking softly. "Well? Am I going to be a young, fun and amazing auntie?"

She gave a weak smile, and my hopes jumped. A little too high. "No, I'm not pregnant. But, at least Raj will like that we get to keep trying." She chuckled and began putting on the rest of her clothes.

"It'll happen, Sis." She nodded, admitting that she had great faith. This was only their third failed attempt in six months, and she wouldn't feel the need to worry unless they got past a year of trying. "In the meantime, in appreciation of that bomb ass cake... dinner and the movie are on me."

"Oo, a girl can't say no to that." I smirked and began to gather my things, exiting her room a few minutes later after she grabbed her purse and a light sweater.

After spending some much needed quality time with my sister, since I really hadn't seen much of her since she and Raymond got married, I decided to get a little late evening pampering for myself before heading to the studio to meet up with Marliss. I wanted to spend a little time with him too before I headed back to Tennessee for a few weeks.