My life as a Fulani girl.

Chapter fourteen

"amen" I said rubbing my du'a around my body, I had just finished praying isha and operation-get-ayman to talk to me is just starting.

   I was wearing an ash sweat top and pants and I had tied my hair in a messy bun.

  I slipped my feet in my black uggs and strolled downstairs.

   ayman was seated on the dining area eating the food that Munifa and Hanifa brought.

   it was basmati rice with potato soup and coleslaw.

   it tastes so good when I was eating mine I had to  fetch another one.

   I did a silent prayer for ayman being on the table as I sat at the chair beside him.

   i was nervous as hell but i didn't show it, my fingers were started to get sweaty and my stomach was churning but I kept a straight face.

    ayman looks up from his plate and gazes at me, his expression unreadable.

   I felt nervous under his gaze as I shifted on my seat.

   when he realised that I wasn't  going to look away he looks away and continues with his food.

   he finished the food and stood up

   "you aren't going to leave the plate there are you?" I looked up and said to him.

    he stared at me for like a nano second then nodded and took his plate to the kitchen.

   he comes out and went straight to his room.

I stood up from where I was sitting and followed him but before I reached the door he was already out with his keys in his hands.

   oh no! he's going out.

"ayman" I called out following him outside. He was walking in fast strides I had to jog to catch up with him.

   "ayman it's late where are you going to?" I asked again while he completely ignored me

  it hurt tho, i was trying to show him I care but he acted as if he didn't know me

   he reached his car as I stayed by the mahogany French door.

   "Ayman please don't leave me!" I yelled enough for him to hear

   I choked on my own tears as they started to spill

   "don't leave me alone in this big house all by myself, please" I pleaded tasting my own tears.

   he was now staring at me as if he wanted to say something.

   his door was open while he stood in front of it.

    "talk to me" I probed angrily dashing away the

tears with the back of my palm.

   "what do you want me to say?" He silently said, I had to strain my ears for me to hear

   his voice was very gently and it calmed me down a bit

   "just don't go out, come back inside and we'll talk. We can be friends Ayman we don't have to be lovers" I said the tears still falling.

   I have kept my feelings bottled up for the last few days maybe that was why my tears were talking like a waterfall.

   ayman expression changes from soft to dark. He shook his head violently and raked his hands through his hair

   "if we get close I will just pull you into my dark world and you're too innocent for that" he said.

    I hiccuped and wiped my nose and face, omg I'm such a mess

   "it doesn't have to be dark anymore, I can pull you into the light with me, just give me a chance" I whispered.

   the tears have now blurred my eyes, my heart was aching and I wasn't feeling good at all. I felt like vomiting.

   ayman seems to be having an internal battle with himself because he looks deep in thought.

   he looks up at me again and then starts walking towards me.

  my eyes lit up as I moved closer but what he said next shattered me.

   "I'm sorry Nina, get back inside" he said before scowling and walking over to his car.

   he enters and starts the car driving away in no minute as I looked at the place the car passed

   a new set of tears warmed my face as I ran to my room violently hitting the front door

   I sprawled on the rug of my room screaming into the rug like there was no tomorrow.

   I screamed and screamed and screamed until my voice couldn't be heard anymore.

   my screams turn into wails and from wails they turned into silent sobs.

   I stood up from my position on the rug and entered my walk in closet going straight to the last drawer.

  I opened it and took out the black diary and black pen.

   mama gave me this diary when i was about to leave for this house

  dont keep your feelings bottled up, if you don't have anyone to talk to write mama had said to me.

   just thinking about her soft words and comfy embraces made me cry more.

  I went back to the room and sat down on the rug.

   opening the diary I went to an empty page and started writing

   Dear diary....

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AN: This was an emotional chapter for Hanina. It was really hard for me to write because well I don't really know how to emphasis the depth of her sadness.

   I just wish ayman would stop being stubborn and at least listen to her.

   votes and comments will highly be appreciated.

  xx I'm