" Business & pleasure "

Cut too deep

Great start to my day , my coffee machine is broken. Not what I need right now.  Yea , I know I can drive down to work and get some do free but I'm out sick. Caught a cold. In the middle of summer too go figure. Jared  however doesn't think I'm sick. He convinced  I'm depressed over Shannon. I disagree. I'm totally fine. I'm fine.

Maybe I should go to work. Not really his like to stay home and feel sorry to myself.
Yea , think I'm gonna do that.

I quickly change and put on make up pull my hair back and I'm off.

The warm sun makes me forget about my cold broken heart. It stings to have the picture of that night on replay in my head.  No matter how hard I tried , I couldn't block him out of my mind. Fuck love! 

Who's calling me ? Oh ! It's Travis. Please god, don't let him want to talk about us,   I'm not in the mood.

" Hey stranger ! Can you meet us at the Black Fuel offices please. It's very important you are here. Where are you right now ?" 

" Your asking me  twenty one questions.  I haven't had a drop of coffee Travis. You treading on dangerous territory. Lemme get some and I will meet you and who else is there ?"  Please don't say Shannon.

" Shannon and I that's it. " 

" Why does he have to be there? Can't you and I just have this meeting. Can't you have him run some errands? "

" Um , no. He's the boss remember? Why do you want him to leave so bad ?" 

" Nevermind I will be there ok. I don't wanna talk about it. See you soon." 

I hung up and got my coffee. Ahh I feel human again. Ok let whatever come my way I'm ready. Or so I thought.

Oh theres the bastards car. I should key it. Nah  I can't afford to go to jail. Plus I would look terrible in Orange.

I walk through the front door and who do I lock eyes with ? The womanizer himself.

" Hey , we need to talk !"

"Wheres Travis. I have nothing to say to you. I'm here strictly go business. That's it. " 

He grabbed my hand and pulled me to him. I tried to push away and he wouldn't budged his grip on me. I missed his touch but I wasn't ready to forgive him. Not by a long shot.

" Go away ! Let me go !"  I looked up on his eyes and he had bloodshot eyes.  I didn't care. He hurt me. I hardened my heart and pushed him away.  He needed to hurt over me.  He caused the ultimate damage. Not me. 

I walked over and met up with Travis. I missed talking to my buddy.

" I have news for you. Shannon and I decided to talk the brand on and not with you anymore. Please don't take it personal. It's just the best thing to do right now. With all that happening between you and Shannon, it's just not a good idea. It's strictly business. That's what I wanted to talk with you about." 

I wanted to be mad , but he had a good point. My relationship was getting in the way. Of my life and work.

" Hey that's fine. Its ok. Look I'm gonna take off and go get some stuff done. I will talk to you later. "   I hugged him and made my way to the front door.

Wait a second what's that on my window ? Are those flowers? No way !

Sure enough , a dozen red stem roses and a note. I had a sneaky feeling who they were from. It could only be one man.

My pulse quickens as I read the words on the note.

" I can't find enough words to tell you how sorry I am. I know I fucked up. I know , but you and I love each other. You know this is true. I will give you all the space you need to think this out. And if you decide your heart still wants to love me , you have my number. My fear is that , if I keep pursuing you , I may end up pushing you away for good. That's the last thing i want. I miss you  so much. I will wait for you. I don't care how long it takes , no one will ever take your place, no one. I love you. Love , Shannon."  

The warm winds brought the scent of his cologne into my senses. My heart sped up , my heart cried out his name. I deeply missed him. But I just needed more time to get over the hurt.

Three weeks later ........

I smelled his note and imagined his strong arms wrapped around me. His lips kissing me. His deep voice saying he loved me. It was breaking me down. I had to see him again. I don't wanna wait anymore. 

I jumped in my car and drove to his house.  I pulled up to the fence surrounding it and I paused.  Was I ready to cross that line again. Even after he hurt me twice? My loyalty ran deep. Much deeper then most people I knew in my lifetime really.

I jumped as I hear his garage door open. Well , no turning back now.

I get out and walk up to the entrance and he must have heard me waking.

" Julie?"  He fiddles with his keys and I am at lost for words. Do I say something, or do I get back in the car and drive  away ?  No , I refuse to run again.

" Yea , it's me. I got your beautiful  note &  flowers. I'm ready to talk "  I never felt so scared.

He slowly turned to me and I saw sadness all over his face.  And now mine.

" I missed you so badly. Stop staring at me and come here !"   He smiled and I ran over to him as he open his gate. 

Our lips fought for dominance. He took my breath away.  Just like he did when I first saw him that fateful day. I love this man with every fiber in my being. Yea he hurt me , but I have a forgiving heart. No one is perfect. Not even me.

Tonight , we were gonna rip open wounds and hold  nothing back. It was time to get to know the real him and I.