" Business & pleasure "

Love me through the darkest night

You and I,
we're like fireworks and symphonies exploding in the sky

With you, I'm alive
Like all the missing pieces of my heart, they finally collide

So stop time right here in the moonlight
'Cause I don't ever wanna close my eyes

Without you, I feel broke
Like I'm half of a whole
Without you, I've got no hand to hold

Without you, I feel torn
Like a sail in a storm
Without you, I'm just a sad song
I'm just a sad song

With you, I fall
It's like I'm leaving all my past and silhouettes up on the wall
With you, I'm a beautiful mess
It's like we're standing hand and hand with all our fears up on the edge...... (song ends )

The song hit deep within my core as it faded into the night.  I got back inside,  stepping back into  this unwanted reality.  This waiting room is cold and empty , yet it's filled with people waiting to be evaluated. I feel like I am about to receive the worst news of my life. I can't stop worrying about things I have to do after he comes back home. If he comes down. Oh no no no I can't think that way. I refuse to see the glass half empty.

A door opens behind me and two doctors come towords me. I choose to just keep calm and not run from this fear. Come what may.

" Miss Sirac , may we have a word with you in the back please?"   He extended his hand and helped me stand up. I felt shaky , for one I hadn't eaten in  7 hours. I just wasn't thinking about food. All I cared about was that was laid up in the hospital bed.

I followed them both to the back and the door shut behind me. It felt warmer back here the A/C wasn't blowing as heavily. 

I fiddled with my hands as they began to read some notes off his chart.

" Mr Leto is in bad shape , he's lost a lot of blood and may lose his memory completely. That fall was cause by fainting. Hes not getting enough oxegen to his brain.  And his heart isn't functioning at it's full capacity.  His luekelyetes are low as well. I know this is a lot to handle.   He may drop into a coma. Thats what we are trying to avoid thought at this point. He doesn't have a living will , all we have is his brother Jared.  He lives near by and so we thought maybe he should be notified of the situation. What's are your thoughts ?  You can go back and see him very shortly after we are done. " 

I stared blankly at them and couldn't come to form words right away.  All I wanted was to hold his hand , take away his pain and kiss him back to good health again. I lost it , not caring if they saw me cry.

The Younger doctor hands me a Kleenex and the older one came over, placing  his arm around my shoulder. Just that simple touch made all the difference.

" I'm sorry , can I please just go see him now. I don't wanna talk anymore. Please don't take me as angry I just want to see  him. "  I wiped my eyes and they agreed to put this on pause and take me to his room. 

Was I ready to witness his condition ? Not but I had to do whether I wanted to or not. The door is warm under the heater , I close my eyes and walk inside. The rush of cool breeze covers my arms making them erupt in prickles. His eyes are shut , a tube is inside his mouth , IVs  along his arm.  His body covers with a single sheet. He must be cold.

" Can you please have someone being him a blankets or two. He just seems cold, I'm sorry I don't mean to be needy but ...."  I folded my hands and bit my lip. I was feeling anxious wanting to run and forget this bad dream ever happened. That wasn't an option.

Soon a person in scrubs entered the room and covered Shannon up and tucked in the corners. He never liked his feet to be exposed. Like me, he hated having cold feet.   And then finally , I was alone with him at last.

I held to hand in mine and caressed it. This  beautiful hand , that held my heart , soothed my bad days and brought me such pleasure beyond my wildest dreams. No other man beside my ex , had touched my soul so deep as he had in just a  short amount of time we'd  been in each other's lives.

I suddenly felt movement. I look up and his eyes were open , my heart did flip flops and cartwheels. His smile matched mine. I was staring at heaven as he looked back at me.

" Hey cutie , where ya been ?"   He reached up and brushed his fingers over my lips and cheek. I stood up and didn't say a word  I just kissed his lips. I felt him smile as he kissed me back.  It was a rush of sweet happiness between us. I missed that feeling. 

The doctor came in and we parted lips just in time. We both giggled and I watch him blush.

" We need to talk about more tests , would you both like to discuss it with me?  Won't take long " he said as he pulled out some papers. 

Shannons happy smile and mine faded when the doctor told us both that Shannon had six months to live. How do you handle that news ? I looked back at Shannon and he started back at me. Our mouth didn't move , but our eyes shouted " we will get through the storm. I got you , I won't let you face this alone. "

We hugged and cried , it was all we could do.  I got in bed with him and I  asked the doctor to please allow us privacy. He granted us our wish.     I got in bed with him.  I moved into his body as close as I could. I  wrapped my arms around his weakned body ,then  said  " I got you , I'm never gonna let you fall again. I love you " 

His fingers entwined into mine as he said back to me " I love you too. I'm not giving up this fight. I will live for us"  I took his hand to my lips and kisses it twice. Once to say I love you and once to say goodnight. 
We fall asleep and never let each other go.  

Song lyrics used in this chapter
" Sad Song " by We are kings.