" Business & pleasure "

My painful secret

Shannons POV

Pleasure build inside of my body , my heart pounds like a bass drum. The air is thick with sexual tension and i can't hold back anymore.

The eyes I see in front of me , are my future wife's. Trembling hands touch my chest. Our lips colide like a crashing wave against the shoreline. She moans softly into my mouth as our body become one. I waited all day for this moment with her. Nothing will take it away.

" You missed me this much ?" She says smiling as I miss the dip of neck. The sweet smell of her skin makes me dizzy with feelings I can't comprehend.

"I think about you every second of the day. You consume my every being. I love you "
My words drift off as she gasped , feeling me maneuver deeper and deeper inside of her body. The softness of her skin against my rough exterior is maddening. Friction between is driving me crazy , going faster I want even more. Maybe more then she will be able to tolerate.

Gasps ,moans , fingers digging into each other, like we are fighting to seduce each other to levels of intoxication which we may never come back from. " Aghhhh you feel so damn good! I wanna sleep inside you , fuck !" I close my eyes and let my senses absorb all the sensations shes giving me and I'm giving back to her.

I hear my phone buzzing but I don't care right now. Shes all that matters. My lips collided with her nipple rock hard and quickly bite and swirl it under my tongue. I'm greedy I wanna taste her cherry pie. My appetite for her love and lust  is out of control lately. I've become so entwined in her I'm  beginning to losing myself in the process. Canceling meetings,  just so I can make plans with her. Concerned if she will be upset I'm around other women , even if it's only business. I'm falling so deep in love , deeper then I ever could  imagine someone could.

Is it possible ? Have I found my soul mate ? Is she ready for my dark moods? The silent treatments when i can't vocalize  some of my overwhelming emotions into words. Will she run ? I dont know , i really don't have the answers right now. She pulls me from my self thinking with a warm touch across my lips. I can't do this right now. I have so much racing in and out of my mind. She deserves more then half ass love making.

I quickly sit up on the side of the bed,  pulling the silk sheet over my lap. I feel the bed shift.  She sits up behind me,  laying her head on my back. " Is something bothering you ?" She can tell I'm upset. It's not a mystery.

" It's nothing. Just have a lot on my mind,  that's all. I don't really wanna talk about it ok ?"

I feel the bed shift. I watch  her move away lying  back down on her side of the bed. 
I have bad  news  I don't wanna tell her. It will hurt her so badly.  I'm not ready to open up Pandoras box again. Waking over to the sink , I splash cold water on my face. I need to snap out of this funk and just tell her the truth. If she stays , I'm lucky. If not , well, she was meant for someone else's love. Not mine.

" I'm gonna head out and give you space for a bit. I can tell you wanna just be alone with you thoughts. So ....yea. You know where to ..."

" Wait ! I have to tell you someting."

She look me with fear. I feel like shes onto me. I have to get this out. " OK, what's the matter ?"

Standing in front I her I reach under her chin making her look at me. "  I'm sick "

" What do you mean your sick ? You have a cold the flu ? What's wrong ?"

I took a deep breath and said.  " I have Cancer Julie. I just found out the other day. I lied , I wasn't at lunch with mom and Jay. I was actually at the doctors office getting a routine check up and the result came back positive for Cancer. It's terminal. They want me to start taking meds and Chemo also. I'm so sorry I lied to you. I just didn't know go to tell you"

She stayed silent for a bit. I started to worry and panic about what was gonna come out of her mouth.

" You lied to me ? Do you not trust me enough , or respect me to think I deserve the truth ? Shannon , I love you ! I would give my left kidney if I knew that would save your life. And maybe next..."

" Actually , I might need that kidney "

" It's not funny you prick ! I'm not I'm the mood for games " she says with a frustrated look on her face. 

I sat beside her and held her hand. "  I'm not joking babe.  I have kidney and brain  cancer. You might just be my lifesaver , I'm sorry I lied to you. I just panicked I got scared."

" I'm not going anywhere. Just please ,  don't lie to me again please. I'm a big girl, I  can handle it"

" Ok deal. I'm so scared of leaving you."

" It's gonna be ok Shannon. Trust me , we will get through this , together. How long untill  you start treatments ?"

Those words ,  hit me like semi truck. This wasn't a dream. It was happening right now , right in front of me. I couldn't talk anymore,so I  got up and left the room. It was just to much for me. I needed to be alone and come back when my head I back on straight again. Life wasn't my friend at the moment.