" Business & pleasure "

Just a dream ?

When you just know you know. I could just sense that he was ready for a relaxing three week vacation. No talking about cancer , work or anything. I wish I could say the same for Travis. He was stuck with the task of running Black Fuel while  Shannon ,Kim Jay and I were gantling about all over the world. Did I feel bad ? Yes I really did. With him being my rock my best friend I felt guilty leaving him behind.

" Jewels , check out this veiw, just wow !  Your tired , hey if you wanna take  a nap you can use my shoulder as a pillow if you need to."   He flexed his bicep and winked. Show off.

" I'm ok. Did you take you medication yet ? "  I reached into my purse to retrieve them waiting for  his yes or no. As usual , he didn't answer. " You have to take these doctors orders babe. C'mon just get it over  with , I have to take my vitamin anyhow. So I will take mine along with you , ok?"  

He took the three pills from my hand and swallowed them down. I remember he said they tasted bad, but I wasn't letting  him slide on it.  Last thing we both needed was to have him get sick  by not taking them.

I obliged and took mine as well. I feel tired all of a sudden. Yawning , I leaned my head on his shoulder.  The smell of his cologne , his gentle breath , the heat between our hands , I closed my eyes and drifted off to dreamland.

Beautiful lights and sounds appear in my dream , Shannons   there with a young girl , she's probably around the age of 6. She's waking and smiling holding tight to Shannons hand.  I don't know this angel personally , yet she intrigues me. Who is she ? Where did she come  from? Why is she with us now ? Endless questions filled my mind. 

She suddenly  came running full speed,  to my arms wide open. She giggle and kisses my cheek. " Mommy , I want to go play at the park. Daddy said not to wake you but I couldn't wait , please come play !"  Mommy ? Me? I'm so  Speechless I can't give her a answer , so i stay quiet. Shannons speaks to me  in the dream telling her, "Your mother needs her rest , she's verysick?"  What's happening right now? I'm so lost. 

" C'mon mommy , hurry !"   She takes off and Shannon follows quickly behind her. As I try to move I lose my balance and fall. Silent screams leave my lips . They both are  to far away  to hear me. After a few moments I get back on my feet and set off to find them. I reach a opening to dark forrest. It's not scary I feel like I have been here before at some moment in time. I sign my flash light and follow a small pathway. It's getting lighter ahead of me. I hear people crying ? My stomach tightens and I feel scared now to take another step further.  Should I keep going or stay in this comfort of not knowing.  I begin to move again , I need to see what's ahead of me.

I wasn't prepared for this. As I reach the end of the path , I see grave markings all around me. Why am I here ? I wanna turn back around and pretend I never came  here. A hand reaches into mine and I look to see  , it's the young girl I  came across a short time  ago. She's visibly upset. " I'm sorry mommy but he's gone"  She's in tears and i can't  help but grab her in my arms hugging her tight.  I knew she was talking about Shannon. My heart shattered into a million pieces.

"Take me to him please. "  She pointed in direction. I walked and swallowed hard choking  back tears.   There he was , his gravesite marked ....oh my god , his birthday?! How cruel can life be ? His birthday is in two months!

Suddenly I'm jolted awake again.

" Hey, you ok ? You were screaming in your sleep. Are you ok , did you have another  bad dream ? "   Shannon said as I tried to comprehend what I had just  drempt   about. Oh my god am I pregnant? Do I tell him I saw his gravestone ?  No, I refuse. I won't let anything ruin this for us.

" I'm good babe don't worry.  How about a snack , I'm hungry how about you ?"  I chewed my lip, smiling while pain consumed my heart. Shannon called for the stewardess and soon we shared a plate of fruit and a ice cold coke. I would tell him about my dream after we reached the hotel. For now , we both just needed to  enjoy the final moments before we were set to land in paradise.