I'm so tired of being here Suppressed by all my childish fears And if you have to leave I wish that you would just leave Cause your presence still lingers here And it won't leave me alone
I rolled over in the big California king sized bed. I rolled over to his side of the bed. His smell was slowly going away. I took and deep breath and sighed.
Even though he had been dead for over a year, I couldn't let him go. Sometimes I feel like I can sense him with me.
He is my guardian angel looking over me as I get along with my day. He wouldn't leave, I knew he didn't want to but I wanted him to leave me alone.
These wounds won't seem to heal This pain is just too real There's just too much that time cannot erase
I awoke with a pain in my chest, I grabbed my chest and felt like my heart was breaking. I cried for what felt like hours, my screaming turned into screams as I clutched my chest.
Even though there had been so much time has passed it been hard to cope wit Clark's death.
When he died he took a part of me with him. I wasn't the same without him. He was like my other half, my soulmate.
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears And I held your hand through all of these years But you still have All of me
*Flashback*
"I failed them! How can I fucking fail everyone!" Clark yelled as he punched the wall creating a hole, as he continued to scream and tears ran down his face.
"Clark." I squeaked as he punched another hole into the wall.
"I failed them, so many innocent people died, men, women, and.... Children." He said as he slid down the wall his hands covering his face.
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I sat beside him we sat in silence for a few minutes before I started to talk. I grabbed on of his hands and held it in my own.
"I'm very sorry Clark. I know you wanted to save everybody. But sometime life doesn't see it that way. It's a bitch I know, but you are only one person, and saving over 1,000 people, that's not reasonable. I'm sorry Clark." I said as I wiped away his tears.
"I'm superman, I should be able to save anyone and everyone. That's my job, gosh my parents would disappointed of me." He said
"No,...no." I said as I sat in his lap. "They would be proud of the man you became. They would be proud to know you use your powers for good and not evil. Martha is proud of you, your Jonathan would be so proud of you. I'm proud of you." I said as I held his face in my hands as I wiped the tears that were falling down his face.
He looked up and me and whimpered as he pulled me in for a hug. He held me tight as he lightly cried. I rubbed his back to make an attempt to calm him down.
"I love you." He mumbled
"I love you, too." I said as I placed a kiss to his temple.
*Flashback Over*
You used to captivate me By your resonating light Now I'm bound by the life you left behind Your face it haunts My once pleasant dreams Your voice it chased away All the sanity in me
He was my everything, he left me and I hated him for that, but I loved him at the same time. I wiped my eyes and looked at the picture frame next to me.
I lightly smiled as I picked it up and looked at it. It was of us on your 6 month anniversary. He was looking at me with the most loving look and I was looking at him with the same expression.
I ran my fingers over the picture, my fingers traced his outline. I ran my finger over his face. A tear fell from my face and laid in the picture. I wiped it off and sighed as I laid down.
I grabbed his pillow and closed my eyes. Knowing I wouldn't get any sleep but it was worth a shot.
I would always dream of the same thing every night.
*Dream*
"Babe!" Clark yelled as he ran down to the shore of the beach.
I got up and ran after him laughing, he picked me up and twirled me around. My leg wrapped around his waist. He smiled at me and gave me a peck on the lips.
He was looking into the distance and I was looking at him. I never wanted to forget this moment.
"I love you." I mumbled
He smiled as he looked over at me. His smile made my heart melt. He pushed my hair behind my ear.
"I love you too. Don't forget that." He said as he pulled me in for a kiss.
*Dream Over*
I shot up and looked over to Clarks side. He was slightly sleeping. His chest heaving up and down peacefully. I sighed as I laid back down and cuddled closer to him.
I gently kissed his chest. He pulled me closer, and placed a kiss on my forehead.
"Bad dream?" He asked
"Yea, but it's okay your here with me." I mumbled "I love you."
"I love you too, baby girl, don't forget that."
•••••
I didn't use the whole song because it kind of repeated itself.
Sorry if this sucks, I liked it almost cried a few times. The plot twist I didn't mean for that to happen it just did.
So yea, I wrote this because I needed to write some stuff for y'all.
