Chapter 26: Confession (edited)

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A/N

Here is chapter 26. I'm trying to get my chapters done within a certain time. Sometimes it just doesn't work out that way. Please comment and tell me what you think

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"No," I crossed my arms. "Hell...no!"

"I just want to lie down next to you," he said. "Nothing more, unless you’re feeling frisky," he wiggled his eyebrows. It would have been cute if he wasn't so obnoxious and arrogant; traits that I assumed came from his father. Now that I think about it, where was his mother? 

"Did you not just hear me say no? I told you that I have someone else. I'm not over him and never will be," I frowned. "I do not think you sleeping in the same room with me is a good idea."

"Do you really love him?" he asked. His face was stern. "I hate that I wasn't there in the beginning. I hate that you've been with another guy. Have you slept with him?"Well he's blunt. He doesn't even know me but finds it so easy to ask me personal questions. "Is that why you don't want to be with me?"

"No, I didn't," I replied. "It's none of your business anyways. That place was horrible. Noah was the only one that protected me. I've been beaten, belittled, taunted, and traumatize. I can't even see my parents. That place was not easy," my jaw clenched. "He was there for me. He comforted me when I was left to my nightmares. So when you ask me stupid questions like if I slept with him, it makes me angry. I wanted him to be my first, but they took me away from him. I didn't even get to see him before I left."

"I'm sorry," he lowered his head and fumbled with his hand. "I don't want to take his place. I just," he paused, "I just want you to love me too. I knew it was bad, just not that bad. If I did, then I would have tried to take you sooner."

"Coulda, shoulda, woulda. It's over now. I am here, right where you want me. I deserve what I get anyways," I sniffled and wiped my tears with the back of my hand.

"You didn't deserve that!" he jerked his head up at me.

"Yes I did," I licked my bottom lip. "I got one of my friends killed. You said that you saw us in the woods running. We were trying to escape," I rubbed my legs, "but one of our friends betrayed us. I lost a friend and a roommate. After that, I shut down. I didn't care what happened to me. I just wanted to feel something. I lost everything in that place!" fresh tears fell. "I had nothing left to live for but Noah."

"That's not true. You have me," he tried to hold my hand but I pulled it back.

"I don't even know you. It's not easy for me to be with someone I don't even know. I can't let you sleep in here with me because I'm afraid of what I might do. I feel," I choked on a sob, "I too vulnerable right now."

I nodded his head in agreement. I wasn't ready for a mate. I haven't even gotten over Noah. It's too soon. I'm not a robot; I can't just turn off my feelings. I don't know what Myles expects of me. I don't know if I can love him if I'm not sure what love is. I hate to say it, but I don't even know if it was love or infatuation between Noah and I. I just know he was there when I needed him.

"I hate this Mason," he growl and balled his fist, "I really hate this."

"So do I but this is the world we live in," I wiped my tears again.

"I want to be close to you Mason."

"I want some time," I replied. "I need time to get my thoughts straight. I'm not okay right now. Can you wait for me?"

"I'll wait for you," he said sadly. "I want you to come to me; I don't want to force you." I remembered my mother telling me that my father said the same thing. I can't start comparing this guy to my father so I shook the thought away.

Now I wasn't stupid. This was nothing like my parents relationship. My mother's father-in-law didn't try to strangle her to death. My grandfather was a gentle man. He loved my mother like his own and he allowed her to see her parents. He allowed her to make her own decisions. He valued women, which is more than I can say for most men.

"I'll make you want me Mason," he stood, bent down and gave me a peck on the lips before slipping out the door. That asshole. He did it again. I scrunched my nose up at him.

*

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I stayed in the room for hours trying to decide if I should lay in this bed or to push my luck and try to escape again. I decided that I caused enough trouble so I slipped under the covers and forced myself to sleep.

I thought of Noah before I drifted off to sleep. I wonder where he was and if he missed. I know it's only been a couple of days, but I still thought about him every hour.  I wanted to know if he was coming for me or should I just lose hope. I wanted him to encase me in a hug and tell me that he missed me. Before I finally closed my eyes, I felt something warm around me.

*

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I woke up the next morning feeling less than happy about last night. I didn't know how to face Henry. He hates me already. Breakfast would be uncomfortable so I decided to just skip it. There were no clocks anywhere so I had no idea what time it was anyway.

I yawned a few times and turned around. "Ahhh," I screamed,  rolled and fell off the bed. I hit my side on the floor the wrong way. There was a stinging in my side when Myles leaned over and looked down at me.

"Why are you on the floor?" he asked innocently.

"What are you doing in my bed?!" I shouted. "I told you not to sleep in here and you did it anyway. Why do you even bother asking me if you're just going to do it anyway?"

"I didn't think you would mind if you were sleep. I was planning on slipping out earlier but I got comfortable," he smiled. "You sleep horrible. Your hands were all in my face and your legs were everywhere. You almost hit me in my family jewels a few times and you kept breathing on me with your morning breath."

I blushed then got serious, "shut up and leave!"  I pointed to the door. He looked at the door then back at me. I pointed again and he looked at the door and back at me again. I sighed the got up off the floor. "I'm taking a shower; I want you gone before I'm done."

"I can't guarantee that," he chuckled. "I might just stay for the show."

"You annoy me."

"You gotta love me," he smirked.

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