Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 11

Janet

"Not right now, what you need? You straight?" A hint of concern rose in his voice. It only made me want to cry more.

"I, um... I just need..."

"J, I'm coming over. I'll be up there in a minute."

He hung up the phone and I collapsed back into my bed. Jermaine and I haven't talked in almost a year, but even after we broke up and I started talking to Wissam, he was still my rock in many ways. Besides Mike and Toni, he was one of the few who really understood me, sometimes better than I could understand myself.

As I waited for him, I started to wonder to myself if what Toni and I had done last night was supposed to be kept secret. And I wondered if I could even manage to keep it to myself. Though the morning ended with a bitter taste, there was no denying how good she made me feel. I smiled to myself. She was so perfect in every way, and I felt so badly for the way I neglected my best friend. I just wanted to make it right as soon as possible, but I knew she needed time away from me. I deserved that.

My doorbell rung and I went downstairs to get it. Jermaine was standing there with a bottle of wine and chocolate, his eyes already showing that of the utmost sympathy. This is why I loved him.

I sniffled and invited him in. "Thank you for coming over, I know I'm a mess right now."

"What's going on with you? Come here." Jermaine held his arms open for a hug, and I practically fell into him as more tears came rushing. I shouldn't have been the one crying. But that was just me and my emotions.

"I fucked up. And I can't- I-"

"Hey, shh, it's okay. Come on, sit down. Let me get you something to drink, settle your nerves."

He led me to my couch before disappearing to get us glasses and a bottle opener. I wiped my face with a tissue from the end table and closed my eyes. I felt absolutely pathetic.

I felt the couch sink next to me as Jermaine sat down. "Here, J, drink this." He handed me a glass half full with white wine. I sighed before downing it all in nearly one swig. I had a feeling I'd be doing that about 4 more times tonight. "Thank you."

"You wanna tell me what's up now?"

"I've been really shitty to a very good friend of mine... And I don't know what to do to make her forgive me." I started with vague answers. I still hadn't decided all I would tell him. If Toni found out, she could hate me forever, and I was already skating on thin ice.

"Are we not gon use real names? I thought we was tighter than that," he said. "If I know who we talking about, I may be able to help you out a little better, you know what I'm saying?"

"The whole thing is still so fresh, and I don't know if she wants all her business out there. I mean, this is, like, deep shit Jermaine. I don't think you get it."

Before now, I'd never really thought about the severity of all this. How fucked up it really was. It was the sex that kept tripping me up and screwing me over.

"J, you gotta let me in," he spoke gently, resting a hand on my leg. Normally I would tense at this gesture, but the wine and the chocolate and the way he was talking like he actually cared was making me so mellow. After all, it was only Jermaine.

"You know I could never judge you, I would never expose you. Come here. You got all my attention."

He lay me back into his chest, and I released a long breath that I didn't know I was holding. My head was racing. I wanted to tell him, but something in me was holding me back.

"Jermaine, if I tell you, you can't tell anyone." I looked up at him with cautious eyes. "I swear to god if you do."

"Relax, I won't! Now, what's up?"

"Toni. That's what's up."

Toni

"Face, those flowers were absolutely gorgeous." I tried to break the ice as we sat Indian style across from each other on my bed. I was still sipping wine, my head a little buzzed and my body warm and fluid with the influence of alcohol. I had undone some of the buttons to my shirt once it started to get a little too hot, and I wondered if I was provoking him. But a part of me wanted to be.

"It's nothing. I just wanted to say sorry for coming onto you at the studio the other day, and I hope I didn't ruin this friendship because of it."

"You didn't ruin it, I was just shocked... You've known me for so long, and-"

"I know, that's what makes this worse, Toni. Because I didn't always feel like this. It just started happening, you know? I feel kind of crazy."

I just nodded my head. Thinking about it, Face wasn't a bad looking man. He had soft brown eyes and a crooning voice to match; he was soft-spoken and his words had a mysterious poetry about them. The more he explained his feelings for me in this bed, the more I wondered if he was actually onto something. We had a real connection and we've always just vibed with one another. Since day one.

"Face, I don't think you're crazy," I finally said, after doing all the crazy math in my head. "I think that all of this makes a lot of sense. We've been spending a whole lot of time together with this album, you know, talking about love and marriage... It's bound to happen, right?" I tilted my head to the side as he tried to follow my conversation. "I get it. It's just the mood." I rested my hand on his leg comfortingly. He eyed me carefully.

"The mood?"

I set my wine on the nightstand and returned to him, closer this time.

"Yeah, you know how music can put you in a mood, might make you wanna dance... Or make you wanna cry..." I could feel my voice getting softer, silkier.

"Yeah. I know."

"The music that we make together, just makes you want to fall in love, and it's as simple as that. Puts you in an affectionate mood. It's harmless."

"Maybe you're right." His eyes stared deep into mine, trying to find something that could make him understand what I was trying to really say.

"Of course I am, because I think I'm in a little bit of that mood myself. Right now."

I sat up on my heels and leaned on his knees. He kicked his lips, finally realizing what I was trying to convey.

"You are?"

"I am. Are you?" I whispered.

"I am."

"That's interesting."

Our faces were centimeters apart, just staring, and I knew we had reached the point of no return when his hand cupped the side of my face gently and my eyes began to close on their own.