Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 23

🚧 DISCLAIMER 🚧 Chapter hella long (4000 words) so get comfortable 😛

Janet

My heart was pounding out of my chest. There was never a better time to do it than right then, in her arms, reveling in the warmth and after-glow of sex. I felt invigorated, and I felt like now I could scream it from the rooftops. I was in love with Toni. Honestly.

But her face looked like she wasn't so elated to hear it.

"Did you hear me, Toni?" I shifted to face her better.

"Y-yeah... I um, I heard you. D-did you hear me?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. I didn't. I was too wrapped up in my overwhelming feelings for her. It was literally deafening.

"No, what did you say?"

"I said, I don't think I can do this anymore."

My stomach dropped, along with my facial expression. It was the last thing I thought she'd say.

"Why? Did I do something?"

She sighed and rubbed her forehead.

"Yes--I mean, no... I don't know, Jan. It's complicated."

"That's it? 'It's complicated'? Is there something you're not telling me? You know I don't like it when-"

"When I don't tell you things, I know."

"Well then tell me what's wrong!"

"It hurts, Janet! It hurts a lot. We have nights like these, and they make me want to be with you, you know? Like, really be with you. And then you run back to Wissam in the morning and I'm just here by myself. And I feel worthless. I feel like I don't mean enough to you for you to actually stay. Maybe it's me, I mean, you never said you were committed to me. But I don't like the way it feels, Jan. I just don't."

Her tears were running down her face as she spoke. It shattered me inside. I did this to her. And I didn't even really have a consolation.

"Toni, I'm sorry. I didn't mean for it to be like this." I pulled her into my arms.

"Me either."

"I'm sorry."

"It's--It's..." she just shook her head. "I have really deep feelings for you, Janet. I have since that first night. And it's only gotten worse. There hasn't been a day where I haven't thought about it and cried. I just didn't want to come between you and him, Jan. I really didn't."

"You didn't. He has some insecurities of his own, and we'd been having some issues-"

"I know, I know... But I was talking to Face about what I felt, and--"

"Wait, you told him about us?" My body felt hot with something a little like anger. If this got out to the public, I'd never hear the end of it. If my family found out, it'd be even worse.

"I had to, Jan. It was eating me alive. I don't think you understand."

"Toni, you shouldn't have done that." I shook my head furiously, still in disbelief.

"He's not going to tell anyone, Janet. He's my best friend," Toni spat. A punch to the gut. She got up and rummaged through a drawer to put something on her naked body. Being that good natured woman she always was, she also threw me some clothes. It made me a little less angry, knowing she could never be spiteful. But I was still heated. I pulled the shirt over my head.