Old Friends (Janet and Toni Fanfic)

Chapter 21

Toni

"Come on, let's go sit." Face led me to the couch in his family room. My heart was pounding a mile a minute. He already knew. I could tell. But it was just a matter of me admitting it to myself. It was long overdue that I tell someone else; maybe that's why it was eating me alive.

  "How did you know?" I asked timidly.

  "I can just tell. The way you talk about her. There's no shame, Toni. She's a wonderful woman."

I nodded my head with a smile, thoughts of her smile and her laugh entering my mind.

  "She is. I don't know, Face. This--all of this, confuses the hell out of me! My feelings, how we both kind of felt the same thing at the same time--the fact that we were best friends before, the fact that I've never felt like this about another woman, it's all just-"

  "Have you slept with her?"

My face burned from the inside out. I just nodded my head. A wide grin spread across my face like a wildfire. The way she made me feel...

  "And?"

  "Face, I can't-"

  "It's just me. You can tell me. Come on." He pushed gently. I sighed.

  "It's something I can't describe. I mean, you have sex, and then you make love. And maybe it wasn't like that for her, but I know I felt a real pulse between us. It was alive."

  "You should see yourself right now, Toni."

  "What?" I blushed.

  "You just brighten up when you talk about her. It's beautiful."

  "This is so embarrassing..."

  "I understand, believe you me. The way you are is exactly how I get when I talk about you."

  "Face, I'm sorry-"

  "No, no, I love it. The rush. It's invigorating, I get it. Even if you're not feeling me like that, just seeing you talk about someone else who makes you this happy is enough to keep me going."

  This nigga was really tryna make me cry again. I felt so bad.

  "Why you always trying to break me down?"

  "Not intentionally."  He laughed. That was just him. So sensitive. "But listen to me, Toni. I'm serious." He looked me dead in the eyes. "As good as she makes you feel, remember how you came to my house earlier, a wreck. Janet can't have it both ways. I won't let her. You shouldn't either."

I looked down. I should have known that this was all going to come full circle. He lifted my chin back up to his eye level.

  "Promise me you won't let her walk all over you. No matter how much you love her. Love yourself just a little bit more, or I will. Okay? Promise me. I hated seeing you like that. I can't stand it much longer."

I just blinked. It was a hard truth. But he was so right.

"Promise me, Toni. I'm serious."

  "I promise, Face."

He picked up my hand and linked our pinkies together. I smiled.
 
  "So you know you gotta tell her how you feel. Like for real."

  "Yeah, I know. Something always gets in the way, every time I try though."

  "Try harder. Don't give into temptation until you are for sure she's all about you."

  "How did you get so good?" I squinted my eyes.